


Unexpected and Undeniable

by MsNerdyMixedImp



Category: Original Work
Genre: Alpha Male, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Artistic Liberties, Biting, Conflicting Biology, Dirty Talk, Drinking, Drinking to Cope, Drug Use, Dubious Consent, Dubious Science, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Growling, Idiots, Knotting, Mildly Dubious Consent, Mutual Pining, Omega Verse, Pining, Scenting, Sexual Frustration, Slow Burn, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Why Does Everyone Smell Like Food?, cursing, musk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2018-12-20 02:09:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 57,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11911011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsNerdyMixedImp/pseuds/MsNerdyMixedImp
Summary: They met amid a biological and diplomatic mission, and were forced together to solve an impossible puzzle. As the complicated tendrils of truth begin to unfurl, they scramble to salvage what they can of a society, people, and mission that is crumbling exponentially.~~~Bash knew there was something inexplicably attractive about Cressida. She is intelligent, inquisitive, quirky, hard-working, and fun-loving, yet baffles him at every turn.Cress is equal parts fascinated and infatuated with Bash from her first moments spent with him. He is kind, attentive, intelligent, cunning, yet reserved enough to keep at arm's length.~~~They circle each other, never quite ready to confront their feelings. But, when faced with the unexpected, they see it really is undeniable. Something is brewing, and only time will tell if change is salvation or destruction of it all.





	1. Promises Made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out just exactly who is trouble and who is sense in each of our pairings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somewhere in the near distant future...
> 
> Ha! So, I tweaked the whole A/B/O Dynamics thing to suit my needs. I know nothing concrete about biology or genetics or engineering or chemical engineering, interstellar travel, but I like to sound like I do. Bear with me.

Overall, the conference between the two interstellar delegations had gone smoothly. No major cultural snafus, no ill-gotten declarations of war, and eventually alcohol began flowing freely as evening encroached. Yup. A nearly perfect end to a nearly ideal humanitarian effort.

Cressida sat back in her chair, mentally patting herself on the back for successfully negotiating the terms for her people's mission. Saving an entire bipedal, mammalian species – and a _sentient_ one at that - was no small feat, but she was sure she would succeed with appropriate support from some of the top scientist of said bipedal, mammalian species. The situation was a little strained, due to time constrictions, but surely a viable solution would be devised and implemented. After all, indigenous species that were almost entirely wiped out on Earth had been successfully repopulated. Yes, the outlook favored the positive.

"Thank goodness this is almost over. I swear I am NEVER letting you talk me into another diplomatic _anything_ with _anyone_ ," her companion groused. Her next words slurred a bit, ""Ahhhhhh, thankfully, they look humanoid enough...and a few of these hosts are VERY easy on the eyes!" Lanie tittered. Her value lay solely in the steadiness of her hands, the sharpness of her eyes that could discern the slightest variance in one mixture from another unaided by mechanics, and her unerring accuracy when she was called to work long, grueling hours in a lab. But, socially? Well, that was where Lanie's skills in observation often combined with her lack of social filter to create _absolute_ mayhem.

"Laaaaaaane," Cress whined, "please don’t! Just one more day, and we'll be out of here." She brushed her hair out of her slightly flushed face, and squinted at her comrade, "Don't start flapping your gums, just to land us right in the middle of trouble. Okay?!"Another long drag from her cup soothed her overworked mind, "B'sides, it's not polite to call them _humanoid_. They certainly aren't exactly genetically similar to primates, and I think I almost have it pinned to something else...” she drifted off in thought.

Lanie rolled her eyes so far she swore she could see the bonfire they circled reflected in the back of her sockets, "Fiiiiiine. Not _humanoid_." She sneered and pitched her voice to mock, " _Bipedal,_ _mammalian_ _."_ When she righted her eyes to make a face at Cressida, she noticed the almost vacant look on her friend’s face that signaled her deep, introspective analysis of some godforsaken tangent while they were supposed to have a moment of fun, meaningless conversation. Tipsy as she was, she carefully aimed a piece of alien fruit from the platter of savory and spicy tapas they sampled, and beaned the end of her friend’s nose with an undignified whoop of glee.

"Oh, you BRAT!" Cress began to giggle, watching as the offensive fruit landed in her drink. "You _are_ right, though.” She frowned, returning to her half vacant expression, “It's just a shame we haven't been able to get down to brass tacks on their genetics, biology, and anatomy. But, hopefully tommor - "

"I KNEW IT!!!" Lanie's inebriated stage whisper took on a gleeful tone, "You've been perving them out already, haven't you?” She dissolved into a fit of giggles and Cress quickly realized that their evening had drawn to a close.

She gently set her half empty glass down, and prepared to persuade her friend to leave, “Lanie, c’mon, Love. We should head back and prep for tomorrow,” she made to rise from her seat when her companion suddenly sat ramrod straight, and peered right past Cress, and through the fire. “What? What is it?” She felt herself instantly sober, whatever had piqued Lanie’s interest, it definitely would not end well.

* * *

Carus’s bark of laughter brought Bash out of his reverie, “And, just what would have you laughing so?” He turned slowly to cast his gaze in the same general direction as his friend. The evening was winding down into something more closely resembling the casual, natural evenings he and his people enjoyed. The negotiations with the humans had been more tedious than anticipated and had worn him to the bone. Instead of familiarity relieving the tension he felt, it only served to remind him that things would never be the same again – his people would never be the same again. It just didn’t sit well with him.

“These Humans do not seem to be able to hold their alcohol as well as one would think. It surprises me that they aren’t as…” the crease in his friend’s brow returned, “...guarded with their females.” Carus had always been a little more reserved and traditional than most of their generation. All of the changes to come would be especially hard on him, as well as those like him.

Bash rolled his eyes lightly, but inwardly agreed with his friend, “Perhaps, easy mating and fertility makes them less cautious and edgy,” he shrugged. “They have no worries. Their species thrives and spreads like the Expanse.” His tone came out more bitter and strained than he had intended. He watched as two of the female delegates sat reclining across the bonfire.

Sometimes, it was a little jarring to see the physical similarities in their two peoples, but time usually gave away those subtle differences. They were less formal in their mannerisms than his own people. It should have been refreshing, but in more casual settings, like this bonfire, it made something stir in the pit of his stomach. Or was it churn? He wasn’t entirely sure.

Carus’s tone was derisive, “Do you see that, Bash? That little, light colored one is openly eyeing all of our males here,” as he spoke, she pointedly fanned herself and leaned back in her recliner and took a long swig of whatever it was that she chose to imbibe. He felt his hackles raise.

Bash wrinkled his nose at the tension emanating from his friend, “They do not consider such attention to be an invitation. I’m told, they consider the physical form as openly as one might peruse a landscape.” He felt his eyes land on the slightly darker companion sitting just to the left of the female Carus indicated. He had recognized her immediately as the chief scientist who had embarked on this mission to save his people. Dr Cressida. Her record showed that she had no problem in mulling over complex problems only to find some amazingly inspired solution that no one else had the ability to consider. He had had the pleasure of listening in on some of the impassioned speeches and persuasive lines of questioning that she had used to ensure her requirements for the research team. It was far more stimulating than he ever wanted to admit. He shook himself out of his reverie, “Besides, Carus, I am sure their species does not usually engage in more public displays.”

Carus threw his head back and pinched the bridge of his nose, “The Amphibious Clans are becoming more demonstrative and open about their practices. My men and I had to go out and implore them to continue after the visiting delegates had retired for the evening,” he sighed a deeply irritated sigh, “I had to re-route escorted delegates no less than eight times today.” He groaned at Bash’s poorly disguised guffaw, “Something has them all excited. It is no laughing matter. Mark my words, something is brewing.” His eyes landed on the human females again. Something about the platinum-haired one drew him in, and it was becoming unsettling. Irritating.

Bash clapped him on the shoulder, startling him out of his reverie, “Worry not, Rus, soon things will be back to your normal, boring routine, and I’ll be off floating among the stars with this wayward species,” he smiled inwardly while staring at the Doctor, noticing the distant, thoughtful look on her face. He couldn’t help but wonder what she was puzzling out. “I know there is nothing more that you would like to do than go back to that boring, old routine,” he snickered.

“Don’t think you’re fooling anyone,” Carus grumbled. “I know you are just as worried as I am about the state of things. I have known you longest, and I know your ways,” he mumbled as he took in the platinum-haired beauty again. She was too playful for her own good, someone ought to warn her that her mischievousness was dangerous. Dangerous? Her companion certainly had no idea she was armed with a chunk of fruit aimed directly at her person.

“I’m not trying to fool anyone,” Bash sighed and wiped a hand down his face, “I know that these changes may very well be the last chance we have. But, I refuse to be as morose about it as you,” he glanced again at the raven-haired Doctor...just as a chunk of fruit bounced off her nose. He choked on his next breath, and struggled to remain composed, “That one is definitely trouble, don’t you think, Carus?” he asked turning to his friend.

Carus had already stood and Bash could hear a rumble begin to build in his friend’s chest. Oh, dear. He scrambled to follow him as he stalked around the bonfire right towards the females they had been ogling. “Carus. Car. Rus!!” he whispered hoarsely, “What are you doing?! Come on, and leave them be. They’re not harming anyone. We cannot jeopardize these talks!”

“Am I not in charge of the security for this conference?” Bash hedged to answer, “And, you know I take my responsibility seriously. That female is not behaving in a manner fit for a delegate,” he growled, stalking closer to her.

“And, what will you do, Carus? Scold her like an errant child? _Voice_ her into submission?” Bash hastily stepped in front of his friend and pressed a hand to his chest, “What is wrong with you? You cannot do this. You cannot behave like they are one of _ours_ ,” he hissed trying to will his friend to make eye contact. Stormy green eyes slowly met his, “Rus. Stop. _Think_.”

He was a scant meter from his prey, “Remove your hand, brother, and let me do my job,” he stared down the steely blue eyes of his companion. He felt his muscles tense further, as he caught a scent in the breeze. It was slight, and it made his hackles rise further.

Bash weighed his options. Carus had gone full Alpha, and he knew he could not take the male in this condition. He felt his own frustration rise as he tried to puzzle together what had set his friend’s Alpha into a frenzy, “Pax, Carus. PAX.” He slowly removed his hand and stepped aside as the male brushed past him. This was going to be a disaster.

* * *

“Ohmygod, Cress! Do you see that?!” Lanie’s eyes bulged out of her head as she watched the two males stalk in their direction, “Why is it so _hot_ when they bristle like that, do you think?” Her tone had slurred into a dreamy, aroused one.

Cressida glanced in the direction her friend had set her wistful stare, and realized that they were in big trouble. BIG. The two, large, dark-haired males were quickly making their way over to their side of the bonfire, and the slightly taller of the two radiated with his rage, “Lane. _LANIE_.” She whispered hoarsely, as the shorter of the two men stepped between his companion and them, “Lanie, we have to go. I have a bad feeling about this,” she tugged gently on her friend’s sleeve.

But, Lanie was having none of that. She brushed her fingers off her shirt, “Shhhhhh, Cress. I’m trying to make out what they’re saying!” she squinted her eyes as her attention narrowed down to a single spot – right at Mr. Large and In Charge.

Realizing she would not be able to talk any sort of sense into her friend, Cressida straighten her spine, brushed any wrinkles out of her top, slapped on the smile she used to sweet-talk the many delegates she had to sway, whirled around, and placed herself between the male oozing Alpha rage, and her dearest (and currently stupidest!) friend, “Gentlemen! It’s so fortunate you’ve arrived, I was just about to ask for directions to our assigned quarters!” she flicked her hair away from her face, and turned up the wattage on her smile, “My friend and I are just _exhausted_ and it seems we might have gotten a bit turned around!”

Bash’s feet stopped, suddenly rooted to the spot. His mouth went dry, and all thoughts of diplomatic _anything_ left him. This Doctor Cressida was stunning. He had heard her raspy contralto arguing. He had heard her twittering laughter. He had read her well-thought out papers. He knew the intelligence she harbored. But the charm? _That_ he was not prepared for. Nor was he prepared for his own unexpected biological response.

“You two need to leave,” Carus’s gruff, sharp tone broke him from his reverie. Bash winced. “NOW.”

Lanie felt herself draw up in indignation, and her jaw clench. “Excuse me?!” She glared right at the male who spoke, and felt herself stand, albeit wobbly. “What gives you the right to order us about? We haven’t done anything wrong.”

“Ladies!” Bash tried to keep his tone jovial as he once again placed himself between his friend, and the two females, “I apologize profusely for my companion’s blunt manner. He is not the best of wordsmiths, but I do believe what he is trying to say is that it is not customary for females to be out unaccompanied when there is drinking involved,” he raised his hands, palms out, in a placating gesture. “Our species is not accustomed to your more relaxed cultural inclinations, and I’m afraid that some of our more traditional males,” he took the opportunity to give an exaggerated thumbing back towards Carus, “are not so able to resist the temptation to...” his words faltered. He had made the mistake of looking the tall, willowy Dr Cressida in the eyes, and he felt a tingling in his gut. _Shit._

The initial anxiety and irritation Cress had felt upon the larger male’s abrupt speech and grating tone melted away into mild amusement as the other male spoke. His steely-blue eyes had widened and sparkled with humor as he quickly worked to smooth over the tension. She was impressed with his easy-going, and playful manner, but as soon as their eyes met all of his grace seemed to disappear. She smirked, “Temptation to _what_ , exactly?” she asked playfully.

“It doesn’t matter, Cress,” Lanie’s sharp, irritated tone broke through the haze of pleasure that had begun to creep around Cressida’s awareness. “Apparently, socio-cultural rules completely negate the need for any sort of tact or inter-species _MANNERS_!” She had managed to close the distance between them, and had proceeded to poke Carus in the chest, “Decorum, tone, and kindness would take you _much_ farther in life, I’m sure.”

Carus had begun to bear his teeth, and the rumble was no longer just contained in his chest, “You would do well to not provoke me, _FEMALE_. Your males may tolerate this sort of insolence, but _we_ do not!” his chest was heaving, his eyes blaring, and he found himself panting through his mouth. The little imp showed no fear, nor intention of backing down.

“Oh, _please!_ All you Alpha-male sorts are alike,” She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, “If you don’t get what you you want, you huff and puff and bluster and bully your way through life. You aren’t so scary, and I’m _completely_ entitled to be out and in public without anyone insinuating that I’m somehow assaulting your masculine sensibilities.” Lanie flicked her platinum hair over her shoulder, and raised her nose at the tall, brooding male, “I’m leaving, but not because you told me. I’m leaving because you’ve _ruined_ the party. Come on, Cress.”

Bash started at the angry accusation Lanie hurled at Carus. It wasn’t inaccurate, but he felt that the Humans had no idea just how accurate the term _alpha_ really was. Cressida’s eyes had darted about, jumping from group to group scattered about the bonfire, as the altercation had garnered more attention than she had hoped. His gut churned helplessly at the distress on her face. He should make this _better_. Smooth it over.

“Well, this is awkward,” Cressida huffed, “Now, Lanie, if you would _please_ sheathe your talons,” she gave her friend a pointed look, and turned to Carus, “I would like to apologize for my friend, Gentlemen. She tends to get a little worked up when one happens to question her ability to think for herself,” she gently tugged on Lanie’s elbow, “After all, we did not spend nigh two decades immersed in scientific academia, up to our eyeballs in theses and peer reviews to be reduced to ill-mannered, damsels in distress in one evening.”

That broke Carus from the death glare he was giving the female, Lanie. “I - ” his words failed him more than they had moments before.

“I do apologize. You are right, of course, that two distinguished and notable minds from the intergalactic science community should not be talked to in such a disrespectable manner. Especially not given the delicate nature of our tenuous relationship,” Bash could feel the blood in his veins start to flow freely, and his muscles relax a hair, “You have our sincerest apologies, and assurances that it will never happen again,” he charmed.

Cressida’s brilliant smile began to creep across her face again, “Apparently, you are the wordsmith, Sir.”

He raised his hand to his chest, “Bash. And, this...” he gave a flourished wave at his friend, “...is our _senior_ security officer Carus.” He then inclined his head, feeling himself begin to flush unexpectedly, “I have been told that I harbor a certain amount of _talent_ with words.”

Carus forced himself to slow his breathing upon Bash’s not too subtle reminder of his station. He grit his teeth, and tried to sound remorseful, “I – I’m truly sorry for my abrupt behavior - ”

“As you should be,” Lanie snarked. “Nevermind, we were leaving anyway. Thank you again for such an _educational_ encounter, Mr Carus.” she turned and graced Bash with a brilliant smile, “And thank you for your decorum, Mr Bash. I apologize for my – my outburst.”

Bash inclined his head to the scientists, and lightly gripped his friend’s shoulder in support. Cressida gave a cheeky wink his way, and promptly dragged her friend by the hand away from the bonfire.

She spoke in a low, angry tone when they were finally out of earshot of the parties attending the bonfire, “You know what, Lane? You’re absolutely right. You’ll _never_ be convinced to join me on a diplomatic _anything_.” She kept her gaze focused forward as they quickly made their way to their guest quarters.

Lanie had enough sense to not say anything at all. Cressida would have her work cut out for her tomorrow, and she silently vowed to fall in line _completely_ until this was over. And, once it was, she would make it up to Cress somehow.

* * *

When the evening had finally come to an end, Carus found himself stalking around in his quarters. He was agitated, and could feel a burning, tingling feeling in his gut. It only served to fuel his agitation. That platinum woman, Lanie, had no idea what she had wrought. He stopped his pacing to clench and unclench his fists. He wanted to find her. Shake her. _Something_. This certainly would not do.

Never had he felt such a strong urge to...to what? Sure, the female had been a little inebriated, but she had done nothing to attract any attention to herself. At least not until he had walked the breadth of the bonfire to go and harass her. Which is exactly what he had done. Him. Senior Security Officer, and he had lost his head and verbally accosted a female. He pinched the bridge of his nose. It had all been so unexpected. One moment he was laughing at her antics, and the next he had this upswell of...something. Something tingly and nervous in his gut. He didn’t get nervous. He didn’t waver. And, _dammit_ , he didn’t go around insulting and bossing females around. It wasn’t like the Amphibious and Insectoid species didn’t behave more freely than his own species did.

But, they weren’t mischievous, with a sharp tongue, platinum hair, and eyes that cut to the core of him. She had been right. He was acting like a pompous, entitled _Alpha_. He felt the tingling in his gut intensify, and held his face in his hands as he groaned. He must be coming unhinged. That was the last thing that Bash and his people needed right now. Carus threw his head back on his couch and tried to push down the tingling sensation, and slow his thoughts. He would control himself. He would continue to act with the rigidity and decorum that his people expected of him. He definitely would not let himself continue to be distracted by platinum hair, a playful disposition, and -

A knock on his door startled him out of his reverie, “Carus. Open up.” Bash’s muffled voice sounded exhausted.

He rushed over and snatched the door open with more force than necessary, “Do NOT come to lecture me, Bash. Do. Not. You know as well as I do that I am well within my rights and duties and - ” he stopped when he took in his friend’s appearance. “What the hell have you done to yourself?”

Bash desperately tried to prop up the doorway, “Ssssss’nothin’. Jusss...” he furrowed his brow in confusion. When had Carus come to his quarters? He swung in a wide circle. Oh. _OH_. These were not his quarters. “ ‘M not too sure why ‘m here,” the bewildered look on his face intensifying.

Carus threw his head back and pinched the bridge of his nose again, “I thought you said we would not drink tonight,” he spoke softly, all of his previous agitation drained from him. “You should have told me so that I could join you, you idiot.” Nostalgia momentarily choked him. This was the Bash that had been his milk-brother. This was the Bash that he constantly had looked after, despite being the junior by more than a few days. This was the Bash that had slowly been forced down, forced back, and eventually dominated by The Scientist Diplomat. And that male was a cold, calculating bastard indeed. The warmth and charm he exuded was nothing compared to this softly inebriated, informal, loose-limbed male before him.

“ ‘M drownin’, Rus. Drow-nin’,” he puffed a breath through his too loose lips, “Dunno who ‘m supposed to be anymore. Dunno how much longer I can keep this up,” he looked up imploringly, “We can’t jus’ die out, right? Can’t jus’ fade?” his face screwed up into a pantomime of determination, “No. Not like our fathers. Naw. Not like ‘em at all...” he stumbled into the room and threw himself down on his brother’s couch. “We’re not like ‘em, right? Too proud? Too dumb to change?”

“No, you damned fool. Why do you think we are having these talks?” Carus puffed out an irritated breath, “You self-centered bastard. Did you even think to bring me anything to help me through another of your sad, sad crisis of self?” He grinned lightly as he felt Bash press a bottle into his hand, “This had better not be weak.”

“ ‘S not. Took it from the last of my da’s stash,” Bash melted into the couch as if his spine had liquefied. “Took it...drank half-ish...” he suddenly perked up, “ _THAT’S_ why ‘m here. To _share.”_ His steel grey eyes were bloodshot from his suppressed, frustrated tears, yet he managed a watery smile.

Carus sat upright, “Your father’s stash?” he eyed the bottle warily. Clearly things really were drawing to an end with the negotiations. Surely Bash would not celebrate too early, would he? “Bash, you have avoided those stores for some 50 years, now. What has changed?” He drank a deep slug of the amber colored liquor. There were less than five of these bottles left, now. The grains that had been used to produce the potent, amber liquid had all but been wiped out from blights and unfavorably warm growing temperatures. Like their people, these grains wilted and struggled in the ever-increasing heat.

“They aren’t gon’ be able to work with the temps, Rus. We gotta’ terraform or somethin’…on a moon maybe. I dunno,” Bash dramatically threw his arm over his eyes, “ _Cressida_ – Doctor Cressida – says there’s nothin’ to be done ‘bout the sun...or the clouds...or internal temp’ture reg’lation...or gettin’ us to change with the world...” his jaw slackened suddenly.

Ah. There is was. They might be able to reproduce again. But, they’d eventually have to lose their home. Their culture. Everything. Carus gulped down another deep slug of liquor, so it was not a celebration after all. This was a wake.

So be it. He had held out hope that things were not so dire, but Bash’s presence here, and his unintentional slip into that scared, careless male from his youth was evidence enough. There would be much planning needed to organize their people, and more political jockeying - the thought of which significantly dulled his momentary envy of his inebriated friend – that needed to be completed. Their numbers were dwindling down to a few thousand, and with a birthrate holding steady at zero, it would only grow smaller.

Those damned delegates had better know what they were doing. They boasted of their high success rates, and how it was all just a matter of puzzling through the problem with their vast resources. The humans had come across as too gregarious, too arrogant, and too young as a species. It didn’t help that they so closely resembled his own people. He took several long pulls from the burning liquid he was quickly working his way through. They were so sure they could solve this problem. But, they didn’t realize how they took their own proliferation for granted.

Though, he supposed, if more of their females resembled that platinum shrew, Lanie, their males could quite possibly be consumed with thoroughly bedding their females to keep those shrewish talons locked away. Tamed. He wondered just how intense she would be, and found himself wandering down a kaleidoscope of thoughts featuring the platinum female in different sexually charged situations.

He had no idea how long he had been mulling over her when Bash woke with a start, “ _Shit_. Rus? How in the hell did I get here?” he groaned as he sat up slowly, “Oh, no. Tell me I didn’t...”

Carus’s resulting laughter was perhaps edged a little more in panic than he would like, but it bubbled forth from him, “You brought half a bottle of your da’s brew, Bash. You drank deep, brother.” _And, clearly we have both been here long enough for you to sober up._ He thought to himself.

“Damn it. I have the final stages of negotiations to manage, and a whole new crew of scientists to meet tomorrow. Of COURSE I would pick tonight to drink deep.” Bash rubbed the heels of his palms into his eyes. The last thing he remembered was a vague sense of desperation and loss, “Did I say anything? I haven’t drank myself that stupid in - ”

“Fifty years, Bash. Fifty. When we were young, careless, and had been so certain that our parents had been mistaken about everything.” He took another deep pull, “After the elderly had been taken by the Rising.” Another pull. “Before the children followed them,” Carus’s voice never wavered in his inebriation. Ever. “Before we realized there would be no more children.” He finished the bottle.

Fifty years. Long to other species, but just a touch longer than a heartbeat to them. And, they only had another fifty left. This _had_ to be the way.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I intend for this to be a bit of a slow burn with tons of near misses, angst, and a LOT of alpha male strutting. You have been warned. ;)
> 
> I just came back and edited this, because apparently I posted it when I had only meant to save the last version. Oops!


	2. Insinuations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our gaggle of characters start the intricacies of navigating their interactions and relationships. And, some insidious motivations are revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some dubcon elements in this chapter because of a very persistent, stubborn male. The slow burn picks up a bit, but not by much.

Drinking was not among the smartest of choices Bash had made in his seventy-five plus years. Drinking to excess in an attempt to cope with his emotions certainly topped the list of “Things I Should Never Repeat” easily. He gingerly rubbed his temples as he tried to compose himself enough to deliver his next statement without the irritation that seemed to flood his body. “We have already discussed this to length, Gentlemen. There will be exactly two members, from each species represented. And, they will sit on the Science Committee for this mission.” He drew a deep, steadying breath, “Not counting those six appointees, we have room and need for roughly eighteen additional support staff, and the specific demographics of those members matters not, so long as they all have the necessary skill-sets for this. _I_ am not the party that is responsible for the approval process of these parties.”

His response was met with irritated chittering and the rapid-fire sound of mean, pinching mandibles being clacked together, “What is the point of taking these experiments into space, when we are more than capable of recreating the appropriate environment in a contained lab _planetside_ . Are these _humans_ so eager to thoroughly control an operation that they insist upon changing the locale as well as dismissing essential staff? If they were redundant personnel I would understand the need for the selective process,” another huff of irritated chittering was issued, “but these are _experts_ in your people’s biology, and the _foremost experts_ on genetics we have! It is dismissive, arrogant, and foolhardy to do this!” K’tar’s antennae waved in an irritated fashion in Bash’s general direction. “ _Besides_ , Carus is no more a scientist than Z’kip!”

Carus’s spine straightened in response to the tinny sound of the irate Insectoid’s ranting. After Bash’s drunken confession the night before, he just could not let his friend take to this project alone. A limited, enclosed space among strangers would make for a catastrophic crisis of self, and there was no telling just how far Bash would take his benders. “I’m the best bet we have at keeping our people safe and in order whilst being exposed to Others. You know this, K’tar.” He kicked his weight off the wall he had propped himself against, “These humans are not used to Insectoid aggression, Amphibious amorous _openness_ , or the more formal, and reserved manner my own people have with each other. I will be there to stop any interstellar incidents. Our Clans are more than capable of functioning amicably among themselves down here. Up there,” he glanced upwards through the skylight, “our dynamics will be especially difficult. Close quarters. Intense work. Unfamiliar people and customs. This is the best way.”

K’tar clacked his mandibles again, “If it is such a tenuous and potential powder-keg of incidents, do the experiments HERE. _This_ is where the research originates. _This_ is where we have unlimited biological material. _This_ is where we have access to our experts. _This_ is where our thinkers and tinkers will _best_ function!” He turned his dark, beady gaze to Bash, “We are close! I know we are!”

Bash felt his gut give a tingle before he heard the now familiar voice, “I am not concerned with _unlimited_ biological materials, Sir. I am concerned that the air itself is part of what is preventing the cure from being obtained, stabilized, and recreated. If we are able to _remove_ several environmental factors at once, and work in a low to zero gravity environment, I’m confident we will be able to determine a more effective solution, if not positively identify the cause.” Cressida’s voice was all pleasant and disarming, but the steely glint in her dark eyes was proof of her conviction, “This isn’t about control, Professor K’tar. This is about thoroughly exploring an alternate perspective and approach to this problem. And, that is where the specialty of _my staff_ happens to lie. Once the initial experiments and trials have been performed, the data analyzed and cataloged, we will return to _your_ facilities to try and recreate what successes we have managed in the Void during the specified interval.” She gracefully folded her arms across her chest, “If we were truly as foolhardy, arrogant, and dismissive as you suggest, I assure you, we would demand the biological samples, your data, and leave _all_ of your staff here to do this ourselves. As we are _instead_ asking for your _best_ to come with us and occupy the meager space available in our craft to better aid, guide, and advise us, I am _quite_ puzzled as to where this anger and frustration is venting from, Sir.” She tilted her head to one side, and visually sized up the object of her verbal dress-down, “Or is it that you don’t particularly care for _mammalian stink_ , as I have heard your Clansmen so tactfully put it?”

“Well, I see that someone has learned more aggressive tactics than the sniveling and reasoning these two do,” K’tar gestured towards Bash and Carus in a decidedly lazy manner, “Very well. You will get my best. They will not be all of their ilk, but mine and Lazun’s Clansmen.” The scratching sound that passed for Insectoid laughter filled the room, “Well played, Dr Cressida. It seems this project is in capable hands. I’ll have the rest of the roster delivered to you by day’s end.”

Cress inclined her head, “I am indebted to you, Professor.”

He fixed a pointed gaze at Bash and Carus, “I shall see the two of you later,” he clacked his mandibles together in greeting and sauntered out of the room.

Bash was up and at Cressida’s side before the door had the opportunity to shut, “Well, it seems we may have underestimated your understanding of our Clans.” He indulged a reckless desire, leaning in towards her dark head, and pitched his voice low, alluding to a desire to not be overheard. “Well done, Doctor,” He smiled slightly, catching how she had tensed a little and caught her breath.

Her deep, chocolaty eyes met his crisp, grey ones, and he felt all the air freeze in his lungs, “I have had more time in a room with more of that Clan than I care to admit,” her breathy reply came as she gave an impish half smile, “I discovered, belatedly, that aggression was the best tactic.” _He needs to not look at me like that._ She thought to herself, as she fought to look elsewhere.

 _I am in over my head._ He thought to himself. “One would think that we would employ the same approach,” he smiled ruefully, “But, we have known K’tar for so long, we sometimes forget.” Bash remembered, almost belatedly, to gesture towards the sitting area, “Would you like to have a seat? I have a suspicion that you did not happen to casually stroll past my office.”

Cressida laughed a deep, throaty laugh, “No. Not as casual as I would like, I’m afraid. We have just about settled what we need for this expedition, but K’tar and Lazun’s people had not yet been submitted, and I was starting to worry.”

“Well, on that note, I need to go hound an Insectoid and Amphibian about a list,” Carus inclined his head to Bash and Cressida, “I’ll see you two at tonight’s feast.” He promptly left, hoping to catch a certain platinum-haired hellion off guard somewhere.

“Well,” Bash cleared his throat, “would you care for some refreshments?” He mentally kicked himself for his ineloquence. It was becoming increasingly clear that he could not seem to function at his prime around this female. “I seem to have missed the midday meal, and could use some refreshments myself,” he watched as she glanced around his office.

“Actually, that sounds incredible. I haven’t managed much in the way of lunch myself,” she drew her eyes back to his, and took a deep breath hoping to quell the butterflies in her stomach, while giving the impression she was worn, “It has been a long fortnight of politicking.” She smiled at him, subtly cataloging every detail. He was long, with more mass than one would expect from the lab-frequenting, diplomatic types she was accustomed to dealing with. His hair was dark enough to pass for black in lower light conditions, but held enough warm undertones to warm up to a deep, golden brown in sunlight. Just like the light that poured through his skylight and cast its glow about his head like a halo. _Oh, come on. A halo? Really? I need to go and find some distraction after this. Lanie would eat this up if she were here._ She softly chided herself.

The smile that slowly crossed his face was disarming in its warmth and lazy sensuality, “Perfect. I’ll call in a few things,” he replied as he grabbed a tablet. Good. He had something in his hand that would hide their trembling. What had gotten into him? “I’m glad you stopped by, not just for providing company for a late lunch, but because I feel like we should get to know each other better.” _Where had that come from?_ He hoped he portrayed an air of calm indecision as he tried to focus on the menu before him.

“I agree. We’ll be the heads of our respective teams, and I’m a firm believer in a strong, communicative relationship.” She responded airily, silently grateful that he had somehow been the first to bring it up.

He felt himself start and raised his eyes slowly in her direction, “Of course,” he had no idea what expression he had expected to see on her face, but playfulness was _not_ in the scope of possibilities. And yet, there it was. Human females were a bold lot! “I suppose that being used to each other’s peculiarities is an essential part to effective upper management.” Why in the world had he made his tone so cold? He swallowed hard, and tried to redirect his attention to the tablet in his hands, and the lunchtime request he had briefly aborted.

“Exactly! There’s no room for any misunderstandings or silly conflict that may arise from a lack of understanding between the two of us,” Cress mentally gave herself a swift, solid kick. _Relationship? Really? A fortnight with these people, verbal parrying like a pro, and this is where I make an ass of myself!_ “But, upper management or not, I am of the mind that we need to be able to cast aside formality in favor of being friendly and easy in each others’ company. This is not the easiest of projects and puzzles to solve. There is a tremendous amount of pressure that already rests on our shoulders,” she leaned back, letting her head roll to the back of the chair she sat in, and closed her eyes, “We are going to develop a familiarity with the entire intricacies of your reproductive and biological systems, Bash.” She sighed, “We don’t know how long it will take to figure this out, and I’m going to need to be able to talk to you...more...intimately, and casually...” she fished around for the right words.

Bash felt his throat go dry. _Intimately? Casually?_ Surely she was not insinuating the meaning his mind quickly ran towards. He tried to relax his grip on the tablet enough to finish and send the order that he now found himself abandoning for a second time. His gut clenched and began tingling with intensity, and his heart raced as his mind settled on one thought: he would give this female whatever it was she asked of him. _This cannot be happening, can it? It doesn’t make any sense!_ He took a deep, centering breath, and managed to complete their lunch order before casually tossing the tablet onto the table between them. “You mean you would like to breed familiarity between us?” He tried to not swallow his nervousness too loudly.

She snorted at his choice of words, “You know, for a wordsmith, you certainly aren’t choosing your words very carefully right now,” she tilted her head down enough to be able to crack an eye to look at him, “And, you should know, whether you agree with me or not, this is more a statement of intent versus a request. It’s best you brace yourself for brazen, offensive questioning and behavior, Sir.” _Careful! He looks like he is ready to run!_ She scolded herself. She could feel her heart flutter in her chest at the slow smile that began to spread across his face again. _Damn. I really need to stop flirting. This could get dangerous...and messy._

The low timbre of his chuckle caused a jolt of pure joy to run up her spine, “I think you have already made that clear, Doctor.”

“Cressida. Or Cress.” She quickly corrected as she tipped her head back again and closed her eyes. She steadied her breathing and prayed she hadn’t given away the thrill his unexpected laughter had given her. The males of his species she had previously had the _joy_ of speaking with had all but chided her like a child for her forthright, and playful manner. Being a deep thinker should not exclude a love of irony and quick wit.

He was grateful she had gone back to reclining with her eyes shut. She wouldn’t be able to see the way his smile had turned predatory. “Cressida.” His voice was low, and quiet. Her name tasted rich and decadent on his tongue. His time spent with and around her certainly would not be boring or dulled by the work that they had to do. He clapped his hands together, startling Cressida out of her relaxed state and causing her to sit upright, “In my younger days, that would definitely be taken as a direct challenge,” his smile turned mischievous, and her stomach dropped into a flutter, “I guess it is fortunate I am no longer as impetuous or impudent as I was in my youth?”

It was Cressida’s turn to laugh, “If the light in your eyes is any indication, this promises to be quite interesting.” She casually tossed him one of her trademark, mega-watt smiles.

“Undeniably.” 

* * *

Lanie resisted the urge to snap her tablet in half or throw it directly into the face of the pompous, overbearing, rigid _idiot_ who had taken to standing in front of her, deliberately blocking her progress. Cressida certainly would not find her tardiness amusing, and after her behavior last night, she _had_ to keep from complicating matters further. “This isn’t funny. This isn’t welcome. This is _childish_ .” She squeezed her eyes shut as she attempted to count in a slow, deliberate manner to herself, and nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt heat radiating towards her body, almost close enough to touch. He smelled _good_. She steadied her breathing in the hopes that he would not notice.

But, he had noticed, and it had caused the tingling in his gut to warm. “I’m not trying to be funny. Your breathing says this is more than welcome. I may be more childish than I care to admit.” Carus had tried being commanding, pleading, bargaining, and finally settled on testing her resolve against his charm and persistence. “I would be more than happy to leave you to your task, so long as you would consider meeting with me for the feast tonight, and perhaps pair up with me for a few of the dances.” He gave her a drowsy looking half smile as he caught the tail end of a scent coming from her. _What was that?_

She took in another deep breath, and braced herself, “Look, I’m not interested. I don’t know how things work in your culture, but in _mine_ , when a woman says that she is _not interested_ , it is considered proper etiquette to leave her alone.” He scowled, and she felt her pulse pick up, “Persisting, pestering, and pleading makes you look like a predator of the worst kind,” she looked up at him, eyes flashing. He was _so pretty_ with his dark hair, smoky-green eyes, and long lashes. “And, quite frankly, I don’t take very well to harassment.” She wanted to _push_ him. Right over the edge.

“Harassment?!” Carus felt himself bristle again, and his voice came out low and rumbling, “How is it harassment when all I am trying to do is make amends and be _nice_ to you?!” He caught another whiff of the strange scent, and it nearly derailed his irritation.

Lanie chuffed, and rolled her eyes again, “ _YOU_ are not nice. You and ‘nice’ have no business even being in the same sentence together,” she glared at him. His stubbornness should affect her in the exact opposite way than it was, but Lanie never _ever_ liked to do things the easy way. She’d had enough time to think it over as she sobered after their confrontation last night. She had done nothing _wrong_ last night, and there was only one feasible reason for his marked dislike for her. “I’ve seen the kind of person you can be – overbearing, rude, and incomprehensibly unreasonable. That is _not_ the type of person whose presence makes me desire to spend an extended amount of time,” she snarked as she felt something wild break free inside her, “I am just not sure that any quality you possess could change the _intensity_ of what I feel for you.”

His charm, limited as it was, fled from him like a southerly wind, and took his remaining composure with him. “Are you always such a _shrew_?” he immediately regretted the words as they left his mouth.

“Are you always such an idiot?” she gave no quarter. Inwardly she _crowed_. Finally, his shell was beginning to crack! And, she would be damned if she would roll over and accept his half-witted, half-hearted apology in the name of keeping the peace.

Carus let a deep sigh drain all the tension from his frame. He took a step back and pinched the bridge of his nose, “You’re right. I’m an idiot.” Lanie eyed him warily, mildly surprised at how easily he conceded the point.“You’re also right that I have only had to huff, puff, and bluster to get my way. I am a fighter, a defender, and often the last physical barrier between trouble and those I protect. I am not, however, a bully,” he opened his eyes to find her standing with her hip cocked, arms crossed, tablet hanging lazily from her long, slender fingers and with a look of resigned amusement on her face that started intensifying the burning in his gut again.

“Go on,” her tone was meant to challenge, irritate, and silence him, but he would not be so cowed. The _vixen_. He had a sudden inspiration, and relented in his frustration.

“I am not sure why, but I am not myself around you. I make no excuses for it, yet I consistently behave in a manner that is unfamiliar, agitating, and frustratingly akin to rudeness in your presence.” His gaze was unerring, and confident. _Finally, the right words._ “I am sorry. It is not who I am, and I will endeavor to prevent such behavior in the future.”

Lanie narrowed her eyes at him, “If I didn’t know any better, I would think you were attracted to me,” she replied in a sing-song voice. “And, like a big dummy, you don’t know how to handle it.” She knew she was pushing it, _again_ . But it was satisfying. This subdued, apologetic male before her made her feel like pushing the envelope. Because, he was normally domineering, commanding, and oozing with intensity. She was sure he wanted her, but wouldn’t act on it. Who was she kidding? It infuriated her that _she_ could see it but _he_ could not, and would not ever admit it. And, she would be damned if she were the only one who suffered in silence because of it.

Carus threw his head back, and pinched the bridge of his nose in that trademark way he had. “You are _insufferable_ .” He willed himself to not return to the inebriated musing from the night before. He had to fix this for Bash, and he needed to keep it professional. Controlled. Rigid. Upright. _Shit_.

“It beats being a sexually-repressed dick,” she shrugged. She definitely wasn’t firing on all cylinders anymore. Cressida would have her hide for this, but she just couldn’t bring herself to stop. “There was a brief moment I considered helping you out with that, but you’re wound entirely too tight for that to be any fun anymore. Not to mention, I’ve seen your true colors. And their intensity is unattractive.” _Lies!_ Yup. All sense, decorum and standard social rules couldn’t save her now. If she were going to be in, she would be in _deep_.

His head snapped up, “You _what_?” The tingling in his gut increased tenfold. “What did you just say?”

Lanie let her arms drop to her side, and gave him a playful smile, “Oh, Carus. You really _are_ clueless, aren’t you?” She flipped her platinum tresses over her shoulder again, and twiddled her fingers at him, “I need to get back to work, and _if_ you’re lucky, you’ll see me later.” She stepped around him with a swish of her hips, heady with the rush of power she suddenly felt.

He was rooted to the spot, staring vacantly at the spot she had just occupied, feeling floored by the change in her demeanor. His fists clench, the now tell-tale tingling in his gut warmed to a steady, low burn. He felt his chuckle tumble it’s way out of him. _Challenge accepted_. “I have a feeling that luck will have nothing to do with it, Lanie,” he rumbled.

“Oh, I’m _counting_ on it!” she called back over her shoulder.

* * *

The landing outside of the loading bay was a jumble, of bodies, noises, dust, and lights. The last of the biological samples and equipment were being loaded onto the ship. Lanie was uncharacteristically late, and Cressida felt herself begin to lose the tenuous hold on her temper. She glanced at her time piece again in irritation, and took a deep breath. Her afternoon with Bash had been a nice reprieve, but it was time to get back to work, and her anxiety was getting the better of her.

Bash’s eyes lingered on her furrowed brow and he felt his gut tighten again. She was visibly upset, and he felt a little perplexed. The female he was watching was a different creature than the one who had spent a pleasant lunch bantering and conversing with him. She was far more serious and tense. He hesitated in taking the next series of steps that would take him closer to her. It was a good thing he did.

Her stance became rigid, and an angry flare to her nose followed the flush that came to her face as she crossed her arms, and began a loud, berating tone, “ _Seriously_ , Lane? You’re more than fifteen minutes late, and you’re _flushed_ like you’ve been _flirting_ ?!” she ran her hand through her hair in an exasperated way, “ _So help me_ you had better be able to keep your head out of your damned pants for the duration of this mission, Lanie!”

Her companion’s irreverent laughter turned a few heads in their direction, “Oh, Cress. I’m so sorry. I _swear_ I’ll get a grip before we start.” She unsuccessfully tried to hide her wide smile behind one hand as she passed a tablet to her irate friend, “I _swear_ , Cress. I know how important this is to you. To _everyone_.” Her smile just would not temper itself.

“Honestly, Lanie?!” Cressida’s voice took on a more desperate, hollow tone, “Who is it _now_ ? Just tell me you didn’t upset someone else. _Please_ ,” she hurriedly scrolled through the contents on the screen and promptly blanched. “Oh, no.”

“Cress?” Lanie’s carefree humor suddenly sobered, “Are you alright?” she touched her fingertips to Cressida’s elbow, “What’s wrong?”

Cressida took her free hand, and tried to rub the tension from the back of her neck, “You remember the male you just so happened to piss off last night?”

Lanie snorted inelegantly, “Oh, he won’t be a problem anymore. At least not after tonight,” she replied in an offhand manner.

The defeated look on Cressida’s face swiftly morphed into one of pure panic, “I must have done something horrifically wrong in a past life. There is no other explanation for this. At least _science_ can’t explain this away.” She absently passed the tablet back to Lanie and tried to cover her face with her hands, “Please tell me that you haven’t hatched some harebrained plot against him, right? Lanie? _Right_? Because if I’m reading this roster right, we are going to be in close quarters with that male for the next few cycles.” She watched her friend’s face for any sign of remorse and her stomach dropped.

“Carus? Really?” Lanie could not contain her Cheshire Cat Grin from spreading across her face, “Oh, Cress, I can promise you that I haven’t hatched any sort of plot against him,” she looked up towards her friend, eyes earnest, cheeks flushed, and positively radiating joy, “The only thing I plan on holding against that male is myself.”

Cressida snatched the tablet from her friend with a huff and stormed off muttering under her breath about libidos and sense being filtered from post-pubescent young adults in concentrated amounts enough to drown her friend.

Bash had to stifle his bark of laughter as Lanie ran after her friend. This was promising to be an interesting development indeed.

“And just why do you look so amused?” Carus’s smooth, relaxed voice came from behind him.

At that Bash did laugh, “How much of that did you hear?” he asked turning to his friend, barely restrained in his glee.

“Of what?” Carus’s mildly amused, mildly puzzled expression was almost enough to make Bash feel sorry for the male.

“It seems that the Doctor’s friend, Lanie, is no longer harboring a grudge against you.” He smirked at his milk-brother in a way that wiped the smile from his face.

“I know that look, what the _hell_ just happened, Bash?” Carus’s more somber expression returned, the one that signaled that he was back in his role as the Chief Security Officer, “What exactly was that little minx saying?”

Bash doubled over in laughter, and struggled to regain his composure as the serious look from Carus’s face slowly began to fade and be replaced with a smile of his own. It had been a long number of years since he had last heard his friend laugh so freely, so much like himself before the Rising. He almost forgot what had upset him. Bash straightened up to look him square in the eyes, and smiled brightly, “Oh, don’t worry. She doesn’t plan on holding anything against you, Rus.” And he doubled over into a whoop of laughter again.

“Alright, that’s enough. That is not the way a dignified scientist and leader of a dying people should behave,” he chided halfheartedly.

“These Humans are almost as forward as the Amphibious Clan, Carus. Be warned!” he straightened up and gave his friend a solid clap on the back, “Just prepare yourself.”

The bewildered look returned to the male’s face, “What are you going on about, Bash? How are the Humans like the Amphibious Clans? Why does that mean I should prepare myself? Prepare for what?” he looked in the direction his friend had cast his gaze, “You need to start speaking with some semblance of sense.” He could see Lanie’s platinum hair swing back and forth as she vigorously shook her head in response to something a very irate looking Dr Cressida was saying.

Bash’s mouth turned up softly into a smile as he watched the exchange, “Well, apparently Lanie plans to hold only herself against you in lieu of a grudge,” and he chuckled softly.

His mouth went dry, as he watched the _vixen_ turn her gaze upon him, and wave, “She what?” That intense burn had returned. When had it gone from a tingle to a burn? “What did you just say, Bash?” He looked over to his milk-brother wearing a soft, puzzled look as his gaze followed the Doctor as she walked away from her friend. “Bash?”

“I think life is about to get exponentially interesting,” he replied. “And, I – for one – am looking forward to it, Rus. For once, the changes on the horizon aren’t so scary.”

Carus puzzled over his friend’s behavior, and shook himself. Bash may embrace the change head-on, but he would always hold back, just in case.

* * *

K’tar resisted the urge to clack or grate his mandibles together. Lazun and his people had been right in their assessment of the _situation_ . Allowing the _mammals_ to all congregate and broker a deal had been too risky a move. But, it was important to keep their suspicion at bay. From this vantage point just off the control tower, he could see the Human females in their careless interactions, and saw the reactions from the two males with his own two eyes. Z’kip would not be happy.

Lazun anxiously crossed his arms over his chest, “I _told_ you, K’tar. Letting those two off-planet is not going to end well,” he resisted the urge to pace the small balcony space above the loading docks. “They’re already showing early signs of bonding. And, the _stink_ of it is starting to be noticed by more of the staff, and not just those loyal to our cause,” he cautiously stepped back from the balcony as Bash and Carus could be seen coming towards them in the distance.

“Pax, Lazun,” came K’tar’s mild tone, “We are far enough in our timetable that we will be able to complete the next series of steps while they are away. Z’kip has already spoken of accelerating the timetable, and the panel is in agreement. This alliance has come too late, and this hope for a cure is a convenient distraction.”

“But, the female is quick. Her tactics are effective, her brain swift and accurate in calculation, and I am not sure how long we will be able to keep them from discovering what we have done.” The amphibian’s skin began to bead with moisture from his anxiety, “I am not confident that we can stall for very long. You will have to be sure to complete the tasks we have set in motion,” he said as he raised his face to the Insectoid.

K’tar slowly inclined his head, beady eyes meeting glossy orbs, “You will stall them, and we will be in touch. This is for the future of us all.” Lazun felt himself shrink back involuntarily, and he nodded his assent. “Good, now, round up your team, brief those who need it, and be on your way.”

Lazun turned and hastened his steps, the Insectoids had better be right about this. This had to work. It was too late to turn back, now.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those who left Kudos, it's really encouraging to see that there are others that enjoy this brainchild. Feel free to message me if you see any typos or edits that are needed, as most of it makes me go cross-eyed. ;)


	3. Threshold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cressida gets some perspective on what her mission really means, and Bash sets a threshold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot of plot and bits in this chapter. I promise that there's some smutty bits coming, but we have to wade through this. ;)

 

Cress sat in her new office space and gazed around blankly. Something needed to be done with the bare walls around here. She would go stir-crazy given the amount of time she would have to spend sequestered in these four walls. She jumped up and walked around the room absently, her mind turning over the tricky situation in which she had found herself deeply rooted. She started rearranging tables and chairs to set up a seating and conference area at the front of the spacious room, and flanked two desks between the seating area and the small lab space further in the room. It would do her some good to be able to delineate some private and shared spaces, just so she could feel like she had a place to regroup, and hide from her responsibilities, and other occupants of said space. Because, she had to share this space with Bash, and that posed a host of problems in and of itself.

 

Bash was undeniably attractive. And, she would be lying if she said he wasn’t just the type to get her motor going. Intelligent. Tall and broad shouldered. Smooth, buttery voice. Chiseled jaw. Full, kissable lips. Sharp cheekbones. Steel-grey eyes that sparkled like polished metal. He had an easy smile and quick wit he easily used to put people at ease. So, her nervousness and tenseness around him didn’t make sense.

 

Lanie had teased her relentlessly, implying that she was actually intensely attracted to Bash, and stating that she just needed to get laid. It always came down to sex with Lanie. Cress let out a defeated groan. Lanie wasn’t entirely wrong, but she wanted more than that. The men in her chosen career field and limited accessibility, however, all seemed to bear the burden of fragile masculinity. None could seem to handle any sort of intimacy involving her unless they pulled some sort of dominant, alpha male nonsense with her. And, that would not do. She kicked the leg of a nearby chair in frustration. _Damn all those fragile male egos!_ The thought left a bitter taste in her mouth.

 

“And, just _what_ did that poor chair do to deserve such harsh treatment?” Bash tried to keep his tone light and teasing. He’d arrived at their shared office to find Cressida rearranging furniture, deep in thought, with a frown that tugged at that tingle in his gut. She was distracted and frustrated and needed to work off some energy judging by the new layout of their shared space. He forced his hands to stay loose and open at his sides.

 

She started at his soft, teasing inquiry. _Shit_. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I wasn’t alone,” she gave him a wry half smile, immediately noting the contrast between the tense set of his shoulders and the affable, relaxed look on his face. Great. He must not have realized they shared the space. “I can see if maybe we can get separate work spaces if you like. They’ll be smaller, but...” her voice drifted at the furrow that developed between his dark brows.

 

“Does my presence bother you that much?” he heard himself reply in a clipped tone. He had not thought to anticipate her reluctance to share a space when he had stopped by earlier. Of course, it had been vacant then, and he may have let himself indulge in his hope that they would grow closer - beyond the friendly lines that they toed already.

 

She cocked her head to the side and leveled him with a puzzled look, “No. You just seemed a little _tense_? I thought, perhaps, that you weren’t expecting us have a shared space and I offered to rectify the situation.” She rubbed her temples wearily, “I just didn’t want to overstep. I understand that male-female interactions in your culture are significantly different.”

 

Bash chuckled lightly, tension immediately melting from his bones, “What fools we are.” He crossed the room and gently pulled Cressida’s hands away from her head. “Here I thought you were distressed and opposed to my presence in your work space, and you were only trying to be accommodating.” He gave her a half-smile, “So much for trying to breed familiarity between us, eh?”

 

She returned his smile, “And here I thought we had worked out all of our discomfort at the feast,” she laughed. “Foolish doesn’t even begin to cover this, does it?”

 

His mind raced back to the previous night’s antics.

 

~~~~~

 

Lanie, had made it her night’s mission to throw Carus for every loop possible, and the poor _idiot_ had played right into her hands. She blatantly flirted with him, teased him, and tormented him until Carus had finally stood and left the feast.

 

Cressida had then given her a stern dress down on the proper behavior expected from her as senior staff on an important mission to which Lanie had given a brusque, “I’m not so boring as you, Cress. Besides, he’s not one of the scientists, so a bit of fun isn’t going to disrupt the work we have to do. Consider it first-hand research on their reproductive and sexual functions.” That had set Cressida into a fit, and Bash had taken it upon himself to step in and distract her.

 

“Would you care to join me on a tour of the grounds, Doctor?” He gave her his most charming smile, and held a hand out for her. “I had thought to take a walkabout just so I could have a pleasant memory or two to fall back on once we are confined to the ship for the next few cycles.”

 

“I think that is a great idea, because I may find myself grounding one of our most valuable assets, despite needing their skills in the Expanse,” she pinned Lanie with a hard stare, as she took his hand. “Behave yourself you – you -”

 

“Brilliant! Let’s be off,” he had quickly and efficiently steered her to the edges of the bonfire, resisting the urge to venture further into the shadows to be alone, “Ask me anything, and I shall do my best to answer.” _I am a cad to be doing this under the guise of helping her._ Yet, he inwardly crowed at his success in having not only brought her full attention back to himself, but for having won a small measure of physical contact.

 

She had come alive at his suggestion, “Anything? And, you’ll answer?” her brown eyes widened as she watched his mouth spread into that slow, suggestive smile sending a slight flutter through her chest, “You’re not just saying that to distract me, are you?” Had she sounded breathless?

 

“I think I know you well enough to understand that a simple promise to answer would not be enough to sway your murderous attentions to your companion,” he willed himself to hold his gaze steady as she looked up at him. _You have no idea what I would do to keep your attention on me thus._ “Besides, there’s no time like the present, don’t you think? The sooner we dispense with formalities and awkward questioning, the sooner you’ll be able to solve this little riddle.”

 

His words were like ice water dumped over her head. _Of COURSE he is not flirting with you, you ninny!_ “Very well,” she straightened her shoulders and settled her arm deeper into the crook of his elbow. There was a bottom line to all the verbal parrying and conversation they engaged in. Nothing more. “I couldn’t help but notice that there are no mated pairs in what remains of your species. The Insectoid and Amphibious Clans all have their parings and groupings, but I see no such delineations within your own people. Why is that?”

 

Bash took a deep breath, catching the tail end of a scent that almost sent his thoughts scattering, “How much have you been able to puzzle out about our reproduction and sexuality, Cress?” _What was that?_ He hoped that she had not notice him begin to tense.

 

“Hmmmm...I know that casual encounters still happen among your peoples, but offspring are never produced through such pairing. I don’t know if that there are some sorts of contraceptives in play, or if that is something more biological,” she looked at him out the corner of her eye, and he nodded thoughtfully. “I have also noted that the other Clans speak of _scents_ and _pheromones_ frequently in what texts I have had the clearance to peruse. So, I assume that those are tied to the reproductive process, but it isn’t horribly clear. Humans do not have such limitations, I’m afraid. So, my understanding is more theoretical and tied to the experiences we have had with our own native fauna and some other alien species that rely on pheromones for communication.” She could feel a blush threaten to break out over her face when she felt him tense for a fraction of a second and relax. She was making him uncomfortable.

 

“Is that all?” his voice was a bit strained, and she tightened the grip on his forearm in reassurance. When she nodded, he took in another deep, steadying breath. “Our people have three distinct genders and two distinct sexes. Alpha, Omega, and Beta; Male and Female. More often than not, those first two coincide in that order.”

 

“So, Alpha is to Male as Omega is to Female?”

 

“Yes, mostly. In some rare cases they are inverted, but it is still the female who bears the young.”

 

“So, what is the significance of your tertiary gender?”

 

He turned down the path towards a small bridge, still in line of sight to the bonfire and feast, but far enough away that they would not be interrupted. “In general, we are all Betas: we are physically mature, all but our reproduction is still adolescent, in a manner of speaking,” he began hesitantly, “It is not easily or quickly explained.” He took a moment to gather his thoughts and took another deep breath, “It is not uncommon to see Betas display strong tendencies to either Alpha or Omega behavior. We are often able to catch glimpses into the _type_ of Alpha and Omega a Beta will mature into. In terms of Alpha behavior, are they possessive and defensive? Protective and assertive? Driven and overbearing? Confident and calm? Agitated and prone to quick tempers? In terms of Omega behavior, are they open and accepting? Calming and intuitive? Passive and patient? Nurturing and supportive? Nervous and skiddish? Each trait, can be ill-suited in a community when considered alone, but when paired with the right _mate_ they balance each other.

 

“Physically, Betas can copulate – go through the motions of the process, and even experience sexual gratification – but Betas cannot breed. It was not spoken of openly, or readily accepted, but there are those who feel that Beta sexuality should not be seen as a deviation from our culture and traditions. Rather, it is the natural progression in sexual and reproductive maturity. This is where our complicated pheromones come into play.” He gave Cressida a sideways glance to see if she was digesting all the new information, and the furrow in her brow told him as much. So, he continued.

 

“A compatible pair of Betas will begin to respond to each other on a biological level before they even realize that there is attraction and a pairing there.” He paused as they reached the crest of the little, wooden bridge, and stopped to lean back against the railing and watch the bonfire in the distance. “Ironically, it is the Insectoids and Amphibious members of our planet that can first detect these minute changes in pheromones. This is the _stink_ they so callously find so offensive.” He could feel his muscles tense in response to another whiff of the strange scent he had caught earlier, and he turned a puzzled gaze on Cressida. “We call this stage in sexual and reproductive development the Change.” His nostrils flared at an intensifying of that same scent as Cressida casually turned her face from his, “It is the Change that settles the Alpha and Omega in our species, to ensure our survival. Until that time, the paired Alpha and Omega may find themselves flighty, agitated, angry, nervous, irritated, and more aggressive than usual in each others company. But, it isn’t until after the Change that the pair is able to effectively _scent_ each other, and that is generally when bonding takes place.

 

“When they bond, this _scenting_ becomes another level in communication and serves to provide clarity in their life-long mating. The Alpha is able to use their _Voice_ to calm and soothe their Omega. The Omega is able to release pheromones to do the same for their Alpha. It is one of the most incredible things to witness. Silent communication, complete honesty, and absolute trust develops,” his voice was wistful and sad, “But, it has been fifty long years since the last bonding, and that one ended as sadly as the other bonded pairs.”

 

Cressida’s face was pointed skyward, “That’s intense.” _Almost as intense as that look you keep giving me._ She fought to keep her interest professional, detached, and analytical, but he had an incredible way of derailing her focus with a single look.

 

He dared to cast a glance in her direction, drinking in her profile, “It is one of the most sacred bonds that can happen for our people. It is what made the older generations more formal to those outside of the family circle, and the tradition of keeping that level of familiarity private and closely guarded is a well-ingrained part of our culture.”

 

Cressida chewed on her lower lip thoughtfully, “That makes sense. But, it certainly doesn’t explain you.” She almost regretted blurting it out, until Bash chuckled.

 

“Well, I was a bit of a rebel back in the day. I used to feel that those traditions and bonded pairs were ridiculous in their rigidity and steadfast belief that familiarity somehow diluted the significance of their own intense feelings,” he sighed and looked down at his feet with a scowl, “My father was so sure that I would change my tune when I made my own pairing and bond. ‘When faced with the Change, you will see how foolhardy and intensely stupid you have been, Bash.’ He used to say. But, he was wrong.”

 

Cress waited for him to continue, but soon realized he was lost in his own memories. She edged herself closer to him in an attempt to comfort him with her presence, “How was he wrong, Bash?”

 

The warmth radiating from her was disconcerting and reassuring at the same time. Humans definitely ran a little warmer than his own kind did, but coming from her, it eased the tension in his frame. “I didn’t have to be faced with the Change to realize what an immature, idiotic _child_ I was being,” he had a vacant, pained look on his face, “I was so cocksure and confident that I would be _different_ when I was paired and bonded. But, understanding came sooner than that. I realized that those of us who remained would never experience it at all, and I came to regret being such an insufferable ass.”

 

“Are you saying that you aren’t as reserved and rigid Carus? That you were one of these Betas who indulged in all that non-reproductive sexual gratification?” She gave him a coy, sidelong glance.

 

Bash chuckled, “That was an entire lifetime ago. The pleasures of my youthful rebellion are no longer pleasures, but sad reminders of a lost legacy. Carus, on the other hand, did not indulge so.”

 

Cress couldn’t stifle her giggle, “Oh, I feel sorry for him.” She chose to ignore the pang of disappointment she felt at his confirmation that anything casual was off the table.

 

Bash felt himself grin, “Lanie is poised to drive him to distraction, if not send him into an apoplectic fit. He is one of our more _traditional_ and _conservative_ ones.”

 

Cress nudged into his side, “I’m glad that this isn’t so uncomfortable for you.”

 

“As am I,” he rolled his shoulders to relieve the tension that had built again with her close proximity, “I’m glad we got away from the fires. They were starting to get uncomfortable.” He attempted to steer the conversation away from more painful recollections for the moment.

 

“Uncomfortable how?” she let a little shiver.

 

He cast another sidelong glance at her, “My people are not so tolerant of the heat. Our entire species evolved and inhabited the more sub-arctic climates. Too much heat can be painful, and in more severe cases of exposure it leads to delirium and death.”

 

Cressida’s brows furrowed, “Really? So the Rising must have been temperature related?”

 

Bash winced slightly, realizing he had not steered the conversation away from painful memories at all, but rather headlong into them. “Yes. The temperatures steadily rose about ten degrees overall, and there were many blights and diseases that flourished and wiped out most of the flora and fauna worldwide. Anything that could not adapt to the spike in temperatures became ill and died.” This had been a mistake to talk about this so soon. He could feel his body tense as the images of their Elders overheating and descending into madness flooded back.

 

Intuitively, Cressida nudged his side again, “Come on. Let’s head back and leave the ghosts to their haunting another day.”

 

~~~~~

 

“Bash?”

 

“I’m here.” She had drawn him out from his sobering musings again. “I seem to keep losing myself in the past when I’m around you.” He softened his words by casting her a self-deprecating grin.

 

She smiled at him, “Brooding suits you, though.” She blushed and turned quickly, “Well, now that all that silliness is out of the way, I’m going to see if we can’t program this light to look like that skylight you had in your office. It was nice to be able to look up and have warm sunlight filter through.” _And cast you in that golden glow._

 

“That sounds like it would be a nice touch. And, maybe we can sit and talk a little more afterward. I’d like to get more of these uncomfortable talks done and out of the way so we can get down to work. I have never been a fan of ruminating in the past, and the sooner we finish, the sooner we can press forward.” He walked further into their shared office, “Now, how do we go about programming this thing?”

* * *

“Wait a minute,” Cressida chewed on the end of her stylus while she did some quick math, “If I’m understanding this correctly, that means that the entire Panel of Elders I met with physically date to ages ranging from 75 to 125 Standard Years?” Bash was hard pressed to keep the wry smile from his lips. She was only now beginning to understand the gravity of the situation. “ _Oh my GOD!_ ” Cress jumped up and began pacing the room in the agitated way she happened to do just as some deeper puzzle was beginning to take shape in her mind, “Does that mean that you are essentially _young adults_ who have been put in positions of authority?” She turned blazing brown eyes in his direction.

 

“Yes.” He tried to find the words to tell her how relieved he was to be able to reveal this tidbit to her, but failed. She was _brilliant_ in her excitement, and it obliterated any other thoughts he tried to gather in vain.

 

“Bash. _BASH!_ ” She started threading her fingers through her hair, feeling a starburst of inspiration and direction hit her all at once. “All this time we thought that you all were the Elders, and sat at about the midpoint for your entire lifespan! This is incredible! This – this opens the pathway to degradation of genetic material, and mutations in younger generations, and climate adaptations into the mix.” She stopped short, and stared blindly at the false skylight in the lab. “What _IS_ the average complete lifespan of your people?”

 

He took a deep, steadying breath, “I believe that it can range somewhere in the neighborhood of 250-310 of your Standard Years.” He need only open his mouth and tell her, but when she was like this – open, excited, thinking a mile a minute – he had all but given up trying to _quickly_ accomplish any task he had previously considered _easy_.

 

She whirled around and pinned him with a sharp look, “ _Jesus_ , Bash! You have only lived somewhere between a _quarter_ to a _third_ of your life!” He tried to not shift in his seat, but that only earned him a loud, uneasy swallow that echoed between them. “At 75 Standard Years, Humans have generally lived about _two-thirds_ to _three-quarters_ of our average lifespan – and that is with the _additional_ longevity obtained by better medical care, nutrition, and gene-therapy that eradicated a majority of our diseases that were common in _old age_!”

 

“Are you calling me _old_?” he felt himself flash her a careless, flirtatious smile. He leaned back in his chair, and casually threw an arm over the back, “You never struck me as an _ageist_ , Cressida.”

 

She gave an undignified snort, “Hardly. I’m saying you’re _young_. I mean, I could consider you as being just out of _adolescence_.” She went back to staring out the faux skylight, tap – tap – tapping the end of the stylus on her teeth, “You say the _children_ and the _elderly_ were killed in the Rising?” She gave him a sad look that knocked the wind out of his sails, and the arrogance out of his pose, “Bash, whatever this was, it left a gaggle of post-adolescent young adults in charge of an entire species. _OHMYGOSH_ , you said it has been this way for almost 50 years?” She tried to reach out blindly for the seat behind her, “ _Fifty_...” her eyes glazed over.

 

Bash felt himself jump up and guide an unseeing Cressida into her seat. He knew this would not be an easy pill for her to swallow, it had been a heavy and difficult reality for he and his people to accept. But, seeing her shocked expression and hearing the dismay in her voice caused a deep welling of grief to rise from somewhere deep inside, and it threaten to overwhelm him. He swallowed the urge to wrap himself around her and comfort her - the only feeling more intense than his grief – and knelt in front of her, carefully keeping a measured distance between them, and somehow managed to find his voice, “Cress, it’s not as bad as all that. Really, it isn’t. Biologically speaking, we are all fully mature -”

 

She let another inelegant snort, “Except the fact that for some reason your full sexual maturity – your _puberty_ – has been put into a stasis,” her voice was low and mournful, “I’m – I’m sorry,” her voice caught in her throat, and she could feel her eyes burning, “I should not be so emotional.”

 

He sighed deeply. Heavily. Worn. “Well, it _is_ rather shocking when you look at it by numbers and an overall timeline. I guess we all have tried to avoid that.” He dared a glance at her, and could see she moisture pool at the corners of her closed eyes, “Perspective isn’t necessarily our friend in this situation.”

 

The corner of her mouth quirked, “How do you do that?”

 

“Do what?” he gently stood and backed away quietly. Heart heavy, gut burning with grief, and some other emotion he couldn’t identify. She often did that to him, with her expressive face, her agile mind, her soft, smoky voice.

 

“You always end up being just enough of a smartass without being a complete jerk.”

 

His bark of laughter drew a giggle from her, and it was a healing, filling sound. “I _told_ you. I have a talent with words.” That drew her eyes to his, and he drank in every second of her smile.

 

“You, Sir, _are_ trouble.”

* * *

Carus had fled that night from the feast and bonfire faster than he would like to admit. The Imp had been incorrigible. He had left before temptation had become too great, and before he gave into the urges that had threatened to bubble over. She was playing a dangerous game, and he knew his thread of resistance was nothing more than a facade, now. And, in the few days that they had settled into the routine on the ship, he had done his best to learn her schedule for the sake of avoiding her. At all costs.

 

Today, he had almost lingered too long in the mess hall, and it had been the tingling burn in his gut that had alerted him to her nearing presence, and he’d done the only thing he could do. He fled. Like a damned coward, he had fled to avoid the possibility he would cave to her advances. It made his teeth grit, and a growl rumble from deep in his chest.

 

“Carus? Are you not listening?” Bash had that annoyingly smug look on his face again, “Or are your thoughts otherwise occupied?” They had met up at the end of their respective days and were headed towards the cluster of quarters assigned to their entire delegation. But, his milk-brother was in full fledged _Alpha_ again, if that noise was any indication.

 

He threw his head back and pinched the bridge of his nose, “Bash, please. Enough. It is bad enough I have to deal with the incessant teasing and prodding of that insufferable female, do not sit here and make light of my misery,” He would _never_ admit that he felt more energized and stimulated in the presence of that _minx_ than not. “If you have something of importance, say it and we will deal with it. If not, why are you tormenting me?”

 

 _Well, no time like the present to rip the dressing off the wound._ Bash drew a deep breath before replying, “I think we need to have a discussion about relationships of a sexual nature in these close quarters,” he noted the tension building in Carus’s frame, “Mostly because the Amphibious Clan’s more…open displays.” he quickly amended. “We need to stress the cultural differences and how some _relationships_ may be viewed as non-conventional and -”

 

“Improper.” Carus nodded his head in that decisive manner he had. “Any sort of dallying and fraternization needs to be avoided. The last thing we need is some sort of _incident_ that will put the project in jeopardy.” He was in full-on Senior Security Officer mode again.

 

Bash ran his hand over his face, “I don’t think this is an appropriate time to do an all-or-nothing solution, Brother.” He crossed his arms, and drummed his fingers on his bicep, a tell-tale nervous habit leading Carus to brace for the next words out of his mouth, “I was of the mind that so long as they aren’t _direct_ colleagues, it should not cause too much of a commotion. For whatever reason, some of the Humans seem interested in some members of the other Clans, and I daresay in some of our own.”

 

“Now see here - ” Carus bristled and began.

 

“Not just you, Rus. Really,” he held his hands up in a placating manner, “I’m serious. There are a few of our people who have found the Humans to be interesting, and I have been asked what the accepted code of conduct will be.”

 

“Why didn’t they come to me?”

 

Bash gave his milk-brother a blank stare, “Are you saying that you would have wanted to be approached about non-traditional sexual experimentation, Carus?” He tried to not sound amused. Carus had been his biggest critic in his more prolific and experimental years. So much so, that it was he who had revealed the intensity of his _deviant_ behavior to his father, earning him a solid round of lectures and backbreaking labor for his transgressions. Not that it had stopped him.

 

Carus spluttered and choked before he let out a strangled, “No.” He paused. “Yes.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, and struggled to think of anything other than a teasing smile, sparkling sapphire eyes, and platinum locks, “I don’t know.”

 

Bash clapped him gently on the shoulder, “There is nothing wrong with consensual experimentation, Rus,” his voice was a little sad, but he kept his thoughts buoyed by acknowledging that he would at least be able to spend time with the focus of his own errant thoughts. The time for indulgence had come and gone, and he had to stay focused on the task at hand. His people needed him. Carus needed him. Cressida needed him...if only to glean information for her mission.

 

“Well, let them go about and enjoy their diversions, and I will turn a blind eye. No one will have to concern themselves with my disapproval. I promise you that,” he grumbled as he attempted to brush past his companion to his private quarters. “I am not the righteous idiot that I was when we were younger, Bash. I shall not judge or discriminate because of _who_ or _how_ our people choose to take comfort in these years. They may very well be our last, and it would be foolish to not take comfort where it is offered.” He sighed. _I should heed my own words._ “We are all dying, are we not? All we have left is the indignity of wanting.” He placed his palm on the reader for his quarters. The door opened with a whoosh of air, and he crossed the threshold.

 

Bash’s low voice carried just enough before his door slid closed, “There is nothing wrong with wanting, Brother. I envy you your freedom.”

 

Carus stood frozen, just inside his closed door. _Direct_ colleagues. _Shit._ He had been so distracted with his own self-indulgent, angst-filled, amorous thoughts that he’d missed an important caveat: Bash had effectively excluded himself and his interest in the name of service to his people. Again. This would not end well.

 

Not at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are my own as I don't have a beta as of yet. Any volunteers? LOL I also want to apologize for the irregular posting - we can't really call it a schedule. I basically crank it out, work on pacing, edit what I can, and go for it. Wreckless? Perhaps. But, still fun! ;) I hope you are all enjoying this, and comments and kudos go a loooooooooong way to keeping these fingers clicking away and this wheel-house spinning. They're also REALLY appreciated. <3


	4. Incendiary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bash reacts rashly to some news, and Carus fully indulges in the freedoms he has been granted. Lanie and Cressida make a startling discovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have you been waiting on smut? There's a little bit in the middle, but is it the pairing you were hoping for? Read on and find out. ;)
> 
> And, once again, any errors you find are all mine. I thank you for your suspended disbelief. ;)

In the month that they had been traveling through the Expanse, attempting to unravel the mysteries of their mission, Bash had yet to find himself at odds with himself until this day.

 

“You are accepting his invitation, then?” he strained to keep his voice even, steady, and absent of the nausea and rage he felt welling up from where he had come to recognize as the seat of that burning sensation he had around Cressida. She was leaning against the long bench that doubled as their lab space with her back to him. He refused to indulge the urge to take in her curves.

 

Cress absently reached back and pulled her hair away from her neck in a stretch, oblivious to the effect she had on Bash, “I don’t know, honestly. He said that he _smelled_ something on me, and the scientist in me is curious as to whether he just said that to be flirtatious or if he _actually_ smelled something,” she murmured offhandedly, lowering her hair and arms to resume looking through the lenses of her microscope. “I mean, Drenu’s nice, and it is flattering that someone sees me as a woman.” The majority of her attention was focused on the slides in the microscope she insisted on using. There was a slew of other scientific equipment to use, and she somehow chose to use one of the most antiquated things.

 

Bash clenched his fists, and forced himself to _quietly_ sit down at his desk. It would not do to act out or allow his _Alpha_ to rear his possessive, ugly head. That bastard wanted to do things that were unwarranted, high-handed, and inappropriate across the board. _One...two...three...nine...ten._ “Drenu, apparently, has a reputation among many of the Human females, too,” the ugly head of jealousy had won out with that last statement.

 

“Hmmmm…” Cress was still focused on the slides, “...yeah, something about being a Ladies’ Man. I’ve heard the girlish titters when he saunters past.” She switched out the slides, and began adjusting the knobs again, “It seems he’s left a satisfied crowd of females in his wake.” her shoulders raised in an unaffected shrug. It didn’t matter to her one whit what was being said about him. The one person’s whose attention she craved managed to keep the cool, detached demeanor of a colleague. She forced her disappointment down and returned her attention to the slides.

 

Bash took a slow, deep breath through his nose. He noticed that Cressida’s scent was tinged with a bitter edge, most likely an echo of her disappointment, and glanced at his timepiece. He was still three hours away from his next dose of suppressants. Apparently, he needed to increase it. “Yes. He does seem to be making his rounds,” he tried to not sound so morose and failed miserably.

 

He was startled from his reverie by a loud, inelegant snort from Cressida, “You know, no one would fault you if there were a human female on this ship that caught your fancy. You don’t have to be jealous of Drenu’s activities.” she snarked as she jot down a note on the ineffective changes on the samples she just viewed.

 

“I’m not jealous.” His tone sounded surly even to his ears.

 

“Bash,” Cress turned suddenly and met his eyes with her own, “You should find someone and go have _fun_. No one will fault you, judge you, or ridicule you.” Her mouth had pursed into that tight, puckered frown she usually reserved for Lanie and her more ridiculous antics, “You have just as much right to go and blow off some steam. Or is there another Beta back home that you’re waiting to see?” She asked cocking her head to the side. Her heart clenched in anticipation of his answer. _I’m a big girl. I won’t cry. I won’t be disappointed. I can do this._

 

“No,” he rubbed his brow and temples with both his hands, “I am certain that no one would fault me – Human, Beta, Insectoid, Amphibian. I am not interested in a casual anything at the moment.” He hoped that would squash the subject before he was unable to swallow the rumble he felt trying to burn a way out of his chest.

 

“Insectoid? Amphibian?” her tone was light and mocking, “I had _no_ idea that you were _that_ open.” She smiled brightly.

 

He groaned as he met her twinkling eyes, “I left myself wide open, didn’t I?”

 

“I’ve seen you do worse,” She winked.

 

Lazun took that moment to stroll in with a new batch of samples, “This is the last of them from this lot, Cressida. Tomorrow, we should be set to start the fifth batch of gene therapy with the augmented bacterium that finished yesterday.” He came to an abrupt stop, fighting the urge to choke on the stink of pheromones in the room. “Am I interrupting something? You two seem to be having a moment.” he ribbed, looking between the two of them.

 

“Oh! Lazun! Thank you!” Cressida was at his side in an instant, “This is terrific! I just finished taking notes on the batch I picked up this morning.” She gave him an affectionate smile, and stepped back, “As for interrupting, I was _trying_ to convince Bash to indulge in a few _diversions_ with someone. It’s incongruous that he is supposed to be this rebellious, experimenting wild-child I keep hearing about, when all he does is sit there wound tight, sulking, and in need of _relief_.” She giggled. Ribbing Bash with Lazun had quickly turned into some hellish delight for her. The highlight of her day, if they could get him to groan in that defeated, yielding way he did when it became too much to remain too serious. She just wanted him to crack a little – anything but that careful, cool companion he played.

 

Lazun gurgled with laughter, “He was a hellion, and charismatic enough to turn the heads of my mothers and her brood sisters,” he replied with a shrug, “And, I can tell you, he is one and the same. Maybe a little more serious than I remember from my childhood, but he looks the same.”

 

Bash groaned, “Again with the brood sisters and your mother?” He should have known he would _never_ live that down. “Please, I was an impetuous youth.”

 

“I think Drenu is working his way up to your record and reputation,” Lazun gurgled again.

 

“Oh, so Bash has left a crowd of satisfied women in his wake, as well?” Cressida could no longer mask her curiosity. _Careful!_ She struggled to display only mild, amused interest.

 

Lazun could feel the bridge of his nose throb as it worked to filer the flood of pheromones that flooded the room. _Oh, ho! These two still_ _are still dancing around, clueless and pining away_ _!_ “There are still several females back at home who come seeking this one’s particular attentions! They would trail along after him so much, he would eventually turn to them and say ‘Go, Darling. Go and find your mate. Try as we might, and much to my chagrin, we are not meant to be.’ and he would continue on in his quest to break as many hearts as possible.” In dramatic fashion, Lazun placed his hand across his chest, “Though he turned them down thus, they would _still_ fawn over him and work to see who next could become the focus of his intensity.”

 

Cressida smirked, “Intensity, is it?” she cast a coy, flirting glance at Bash, but leaned into Lazun, “Intensity does not always make for a good lover, as you know, Lazun. Surely, it couldn’t just be his intensity that had those poor females tripping over themselves?” _What has gotten into me?_ She felt herself push in a way that would have Lanie crowing with pride.

 

Lazun felt a moment of pity for these two, neither able to admit nor act upon their shared attraction. But, the moment passed, and he once again reveled in the opportunity to distract and prod at their progress, “No, not at all. Mother said he was always described as intense, intuitive, and _thorough_.”

 

Bash could feel his muscles tense, and his teeth grit at how openly curious Cress had become. He could _scent_ her. Woody. Spicy. Something Citrusy. He should be the one to tell her. To _show_ her. He desperately clamped down on his intensity, and mulled over how _thorough_ he would be if he ever got the chance to bed her. The fact that another was poking and prodding around her made him want to leave and find Drenu to beat his fists into the male’s face for coming so close to _his_ female. Right. It was time to make a graceful exit to make some stronger suppressants. But before he could string two words together, Lazun and Cressida burst into laughter.

 

“OMIGOSH, his _face_ , Lazun! Did you see it?!” Cressida had never seen Bash look so intensely conflicted, and the moment he made a decision to do whatever it was he had settled on doing, his expression had changed to one of pure, malicious intent. “I don’t know if that was scary or amusing!” She fought to bring herself upright from her laughing fit, but Lazun’s gurgling set her into another whooping fit of laughter. When they had finally regained control of themselves and she stood to apologize to Bash, he was gone.

 

“Oh dear. I do believe we may have laughed a little too hard,” Lazun breezily remarked. Satisfied that he had successfully distracted and distanced the two, and prevented any miraculous discoveries for the remainder of the day, he took his leave, “I shall see you tomorrow, Doctor.”

 

Cressida absently nodded her assent as she took in the full scope of her foolish ribbing. Bash was angry, and quite possibly hurt. _Shit._

 

* * *

 

The instant Cressida and Lazun had broken into peals of laughter, Bash had made a hasty retreat. He was sure that _something_ would have gotten broken, be in his fist, furniture, or his vow to stay away. He felt a growl begin to bubble up his throat, and rushed to get himself to the lab space he _borrowed_ to concoct his suppressants. He could feel his hackles raise, and willed himself calm enough to make it without being discovered. Which is _exactly_ why he ran right into Carus.

 

“Woah! Bash! Where are you off to in such a hurry?” the spring in his step was a result of that afternoon’s visit to Lanie. She had been so easy to crack this time around. A few weeks had been all he needed to learn her enough to be able to work her over quickly and efficiently. Though, truth be told, he could not say exactly what it was that had made her be the one to crack this time.

 

~~~~~

 

He had his thigh slotted between hers again, because he _knew_  what it did to her, and he wanted to _smell_  it roll off her in waves. “All you have to do is say the word,” he breathed across her skin gently, and ground his hips into her just enough to get her to push back.

 

“Dream on, asshole.”

 

He buried his nose into her hair, dragging it down and up the side. She smelled sharp, tangy, crisp. “Are you sure about that?” He breathed in through his mouth, trying to scent her some more, “If you just _give,_ I’ll give you what you want.” He bent his knees enough to let his chest drop to hers, and he pushed in a little more.

 

She turned her head away from him, feeling her nipples tighten with the contact, “And, what makes you think you know what I want?” Her voice was breathy, and she’d broken out in light perspiration across her nose. She clenched her fists tighter against her sides, “If you knew what I _really_ wanted, we wouldn’t be _here_.”

 

He let his lips part, tongue out enough to barely touch the skin below her ear. Yup. He was well and truly lost, now. The sharp, salty taste of her skin made him grind against her harder, “Lanie.” Did that sound pleading? Did it matter? He had her all but in his arms, smelling like his favorite fruit, and just as aroused as he felt. He dared to move his right hand to her hip, inching it up under her shirt, and up the heated flesh on her side. “You’re always so warm,” he always marveled at how he need only touch her like this to make her pulse race, her skin warm, and her scent intensify. “Just say it.”

 

She fought the urge to give him better access to her throat, and grit her teeth, “That’s not going to happen. You know that, Carus. You’ll be begging me before I’m even close to begging you.”

 

He felt himself harden even further, and ground himself against her again, “But, this could be so much easier and _satisfying_ if you just say the word, Lane.” He couldn’t resist brushing his open lips against the corner of her mouth. Her damned mouth. Her gloriously inappropriate, sharp, unforgiving mouth. “I have spent too much time wondering if this mouth of yours is always so unforgiving,” another brush against the corner that had tightened further. “I wonder just how hot, how soft, how wet we could make it.” He nipped at her jaw, feeling a thrilling rush of possessiveness at how her scent had bent to a musky, sweet version of the tart, crisp scent she usually sported. He thrilled at the thought that her taste would change so much, under the right conditions. Under him.

 

Lanie’s hands shot to his hips, gripping the length of his tunic in her fists, “Damn you.” She could feel her skin prickling, and her resolve wavering. He smelled like decadent chocolate and smoky peppers. Her teeth ground together as he ground his hips against her and caught his thigh  _right there_ , right against her swollen nub, and she choked out a groan.

 

Carus ran his nose up her jaw, and nuzzled the spot just below her ear that always made her melt into him a little further, “Still no?” He took her lobe between his teeth gently, and closed his mouth around it slowly. Lanie mewled and pulled him closer.

 

“Shit,” she felt her resolve melt into a puddle centered at her core, “That was a dirty trick, you dick.”

 

“It was. And, _this_ ,” he ground his hip into her center, and his hard member into her thigh, “is a dick.” He could feel his chest start to rumble as he met with an intensifying of her scent.

 

She groaned and pressed her chest up into his, and threw her head back, “Why do you do that?” she whimpered, and unclenched her fists, “It’s not fair!” she sounded petulant and desperate.

 

“I can’t control it,” he confessed, “It happens when I smell you like this...hot...needy...” he licked at the underside of her jaw, and was rewarded by her thighs spreading just a hair more than they had been. “I can smell you growing wetter, and...” he relaxed his hold on his rumbling, letting it mold into a full-on growl against her throat, “...you stir up something inside of me...”

 

Lanie turned her head and quickly locked her lips with his, her willpower shot, and her pride oozing from her the way moisture oozed from her core. She had to taste his mouth, breathe him in. There was no fighting this anymore. She wanted to open up to him, and take him in, so she started with her mouth.

 

He pulled away enough to whisper against her lips, “ _Say_ it,” he urged, and nipped at her lower lip, “Just say it, Lanie. And, whatever you want...” he devoured her mouth. She opened to him with a whimper, and became all that was soft and supple, and slid her tongue against his with a groan. She tasted fresh, quenching.

 

Her head fell to his chest as they broke from the kiss, and he almost didn’t hear her over the pounding in his ears, and the ragged panting of his own breath, “Please, Carus. Take me inside.” She didn’t want to play this game anymore. “ _Please_ ,” she nuzzled her nose against his throat.

 

She felt him take her hand, and place it on her lock. Her breath caught when she heard the lock _snick_ out of place, and clutched him to her chest as it slid open, “You sure?” His pupils were blown, eyes glazed with lust, but they never wavered from her own.

 

“Yes.”

 

It was all he needed, and he swiftly bent and picked her up by her ass, and carried her into her quarters. The door whooshed closed behind them, and he was suddenly drowning in her scent, and felt her moisture seep into the front of his pants, “ _Shit_ ,” he felt the base of his member throb, and burn a little, “I don’t know how gentle I can be, Lane. I -” his voice caught as she pushed back from him enough to pull her shirt apart, and slide it down her arms. He felt himself throb against her, and the burning sensation at the base of his penis intensified.

 

“Carus, you have to let me -” Lanie stuttered as he greedily mouthed at the tops of her breasts while he set her to standing before him. She thrust her hands into his hair, and threw her head back with a heady moan trying to keep from reeling. In the next instant, his head and mouth were gone, and her legs were suddenly cool.

His voice was a hoarse, deep rumble, “You need to step out of these now, before I rip them apart to get them out of my way,” and she rushed to comply. Completely needy. “Hold on to me, I – I can’t...” Carus lost all train of thought as he dipped his fingers into her warm, dripping core. He moved on instinct, picked her up again by her ass, pushed her roughly back into the closest wall, and slammed himself into her core – right to the hilt – in one smooth, unforgiving motion. “I’m so sorry, I can’t – I can’t...” he wasn’t sure what was tumbling from his mouth as he drove himself into her repeatedly, muscles clenching in desperate need to keep moving.

 

Lanie had bit her lip when Carus had managed to enter her in that single, perfect stroke. Her core burned from the stretch, but the resulting friction as he railed away caused her to go loose limbed, hovering on the verge of the fastest, and most intense orgasm she had ever experienced. Her toes tingled, she felt the tell-tale paralysis seep into her muscles as the little death loomed closer, “GOD, Carus, I need you to - oh! Please, _deeper_ ,” she whined.

 

The sound of her voice, pleading, and desperate, caused something in him to snap. He leaned back a fraction to change the angle of where his cock was pounding into her, and he felt himself bump into something, and she arched her back with a shrill mewl. So, he drove himself into that spot again. She grew wetter, and tighter around him, and he clenched his teeth, “Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck...” the burning at the base of his penis started again, “Shit, Lanie, I don’t know how to – what to -” he clutched her to his chest, abruptly stopping all thrusting motions, and carried her to the bunk in the corner of the room.

 

“NO! Don’t stop, please! I’m so close!” she had tears in her eyes, and tried to ride his length as he crossed the room, “You can’t stop, Carus, _please_!”

 

“Shhhhhhh, trust me, Lanie. I just need to..” he laid her down gently, keeping his hips locked to hers, and bent down to claim her mouth and silence her again. She clenched tightly around him causing him to throw his head back and groan. “Fuck, you feel so good, Lanie!”

 

She let her head loll back and her leg fall to the side, “Oh! Right there!” she cried out as he angled himself deeper into the space her leg had created.

 

The snarl that left his lips caught him unawares, and caused Lanie to crest over the edge – her entire body tightened around him. His sole instinct screamed to thrust himself deeper, and as he did he felt the base of him burn, stretch, and start to catch inside of her spasming opening. He shifted his angle, and felt the rhythmic clenching of her walls, and something repeatedly slam down on the head of his cock, “Lanie, you feel so fucking - ” he thrust harder and harder.

 

Lanie lost all sense of herself. She could only feel him grow harder, hit her g-spot unerringly, and could feel a stretch and burn at her opening that made her want to squirm away and move closer -  open up further - all at once, “Please, Carus, I need more. Harder. _Deeper_.” She could feel herself rising up higher than the crest she was riding. Her orgasm wasn’t ending. It was intensifying – pulsing stronger.

 

It was how she had begged him to go deeper that finally pushed him over the edge of control. His grip tightened on her hips and he could feel himself slam her down on him as he thrust up as hard as he could. A final gush of warmth and moisture from her had him grinding and thrusting, only to find himself locked in and unable to move. Lanie’s back arched a final time, and her final orgasm triggered his, and he felt himself sink his teeth into the crook of her neck as she cried out for him. White hot bliss tore through his spine, he felt himself throb and release into her tight, clenching warmth.

 

Lanie’s awareness started to creep in around the edges, and she first noticed a heavy body sprawled across her own, chocolate and smoky peppers filling her nostrils, and her cunt felt incredibly full. “Carus?” Was he unconscious?

 

“Don’t move, Lanie,” he nuzzled at the crook of her neck. “If you try to pull away, it will hurt. Just give me a few minutes. It’ll go down.” He whispered, slightly panicked as he licked her skin.

 

She giggled, “Are you licking me?”

 

“I’m cleaning your wound.”

 

“OOOOooooh. Did you bite me? Kinky!” she couldn’t stop the giggling.

 

He stopped lapping at her skin, and sighed deeply, “You’re still insufferable.”

 

“Look at me.”

 

He drew his eyes up to hers, uncertain.

 

“You still like me. I can see it.” She was all cockiness and confidence, “And that’s good, because I want you to do that to me again.” She gave him a stern look, “Understand?”

 

He rolled his eyes, “Insufferable.”

 

~~~~~

 

He’d stayed another hour before he had thought to return to his rounds, and check in on Bash. And, he had crashed headlong into his friend and milk-brother. “Woah! Bash! Where are you off to in such a hurry?”

 

Unable to stifle it any more, Bash responded in a deep, rolling growl. “Get out of the way, Rus. I don’t have time for this,” he grit his teeth and pushed around the male and continued his hurried pace down the corridor.

 

Carus had flinched back, like the words had been a physical strike, and stood confused and tried to find a way to tamp down a deep, consuming panic. “Shit, Bash, we need to get you behind closed doors!” he pivoted on his heel and ran after him.

 

“Get away, Carus. I’ve got this under control.” This was the worst possible thing that could happen. The last thing he needed was to have Carus underfoot and lecturing him on what a _bad_ idea it was for him to be on suppressants.

 

“Where are you going? What are you up to? Bash? Bash, are you listening to me?” he struggled to keep himself from reaching out to his brother. There had been one other occasion in which Carus had the _privilege_ to see Bash’s Alpha out in full force, and that had ended in a three day bender, more intravenous fluids than he cared to admit, and had soured him on any sort of liquor for well over a decade. “Come on, Bash! What the _hell_ is going on here?” he whispered harshly, and he dove to catch the door before it closed behind Bash’s retreating form.

 

Bash whirled around and bared his teeth at him, “Can you just be quiet while I get this under control. I will answer all your questions, but this is _NOT_ the time for you to pester me. So help me, Carus, I need to wreck a face, and one as pretty as your is as good as any.” He whirled around before the other male had a chance to make a retort, and injected himself with the remaining two doses of suppressant he had squirreled away on a top shelf.

 

The pain was immediate. The twisting and tearing in his gut increased tenfold as the seat of that _feeling_ for Cressida was compressed, muted, and shoved back. A roaring began in his ears, and his muscles locked up. He felt his hands grip the metal of the table, and tried to focus on the coolness, the smoothness, and the solid feel of it under his hands instead of the white-hot pain igniting across his nerve endings. He could see the edges of his vision begin to blur, and as he felt his knees give way, he felt Carus catch him before he hit the floor.

 

When his vision cleared, and the roaring in his ears died down, he heard Carus cursing a blue streak, “Are you fucking _kidding me_ , Bash? _What the fuck?_  Have we not lost _enough?_  Why is it I have to lose you, too? You _idiot!_  You _asshole!_  You selfish _PRICK_!!!” He struggled to look up at his friend, his milk-brother, and felt his eyes slosh around in his head, uncoordinated and too loose, “Why is it you always do this to yourself you, damned fool? You’re lucky I decided to come with you on this damned mission! I just _knew_ you would self-destruct! What the hell did you shoot up with?” Carus’s voice was tinged with panic.

 

His tongue was thick, heavy, and his mouth parched, but he managed to work it around a few words, “Not drugs. S‘press’nts.” he worked his cheeks and mouth a little more, as the feeling returned to his face. “I’m not stupid enough for drugs.” He felt Carus kick the table he had been propped against, and heard the items on the surface jump with the impact.

 

“You. Damned. _IDIOT_. This just doesn’t get any fucking better, does it?” Carus had thrown his head back and was pinching the bridge of his nose again. “It’s Cressida, isn’t it?”

 

Bash scowled and cocked his head to the side as he struggled to stand, “I can’t afford to be distracted. And I don’t know how to explain this to anyone, Rus.” His puzzled gaze was fixed on the hastily shut door of a cabinet in the far corner of the room. That cabinet was rarely ever used, and it certainly was capable of holding something much larger than what he could see spill out of the hastily shut door and graze the floor. “Besides, I think we have more important things than my experience with the Change and suppressants to deal with.”

 

“ _HOW_?!” Carus was bellowing with rage, “How is this not important? You cannot return _HOME_ , Bash. It will kill you! You are our leader! _How_ is that not important? How is the fact that you have a _MATE_ so goddamned insignificant that we cannot focus on that right now?” he was pacing in his agitation, and had not yet noticed his milk-brother’s cautious steps toward the cabinet on which he was so fixated. “Bash, I cannot do this! I cannot sit here, act as if there is nothing wrong with what is happening to you, and pretend that the thought of returning home without you is not terrifying!” He swung around to plead with his milk-brother, his only family left, to witness his exaggerated, cautious movements. “What the _hell_ are you doing, now?”

 

“Carus, you and your men searched, checked, and scanned every piece of equipment, personal belongings, and supplies brought up to the ship, right?” his gaze was unerring and, focused on the shiny, holographic scrap of material connected to whatever it was that was bulging from the offensive piece of furniture he had been carefully approaching.

 

“You cannot try to distract me, Bash. This is NOT the time to drift off on a tangent!” When Bash made no attempt to reply to his soured response, he heaved a great, annoyed sigh and answered him, “YES. Yes I checked them all personally. Why?” He took quick, lumbering steps towards him.

 

Bash’s arm shot back to hold him back, and the tension in his shoulders stopped Carus in his tracks, “If that is the case, Brother, we have a traitor among us. Someone has smuggled what looks to be an Insectoid incendiary device on board.”

 

“What?! That’s not possible!”

 

Bash knelt, and gently opened the door fully, “It _is_ possible, Brother. Twice over.”

 

Carus leaned over Bash’s shoulder to stare directly at a case that held one incendiary device, and one vacant spot for another.

 

“Shit.”

 

* * *

 

“Lanie, I’m here! What’s the big news that you needed me to see for myself?” Cress strolled into Lanie’s shared lab with Lazun. “What has you so grim?” She felt her anxiety climb as she saw the intense, serious look on her friend’s face.

 

She was wringing her hands as she spoke, “I jumped the gun. I jumped ahead and added the augmented bacterium before we were scheduled. I used the two extra slides that I had prepped and forgot about until I wanted to check the bacterium under the scope, Cress.” She couldn’t stop the shaking in her hands, as she tried to focus the lens on the projection microscope. “We have a serious problem, Cress. A _serious_ problem. Tell me what you see.” She stepped away from the microscope and practically ran to the door to engage the emergency lock.

 

“What the hell are you doing, Lanie? Why are you locking the door?”

 

“LOOK AT IT!”

 

Cressida curled a nose at her friend in confused disgust, “There’s no reason to yell. I’ll look at the damned thing, just - ” she froze as she peered into the lens. “Lanie, wait,” her hand steadied and focused the lens on the swab of genetic material treated with augmented bacterium, “Why are we looking at Insectoid DNA? This is supposed to be a sample from Bash’s people.”

 

“It IS. It’s from Carus.”

 

Cress looked up at her friend, and furrowed her brow, “But Carus never submitted samples.”

 

“Let’s just say I took the liberty of _procuring_ a sample or two for my own, private experiment.” Lanie had crossed her arms defensively, and pursed her lips in the way she did when she was very, very angry and very, very scared.

 

“No, this can’t be from Carus. These are Insectoid _heat_ markers.”

 

“I know they are, Cressida. And, I can assure you that those samples came from the seminal fluids of a Carus, who happens to be the Chief Security Officer of the _bipedal mammalians_ whose fertility we are trying to restore.” She began her nervous pacing again, “And, something has re-written his DNA with Insectoid DNA whose specific function is to regulate the heat generated in sub-cellular conditions.” She chewed the inside of her lip, “The augmented bacterium ate away at the protein coating, Cress. It didn’t just remove or repair damaged DNA. It ate away at the alien material. Whoever -” she choked back a sob, “ - whoever did this was a genius, Cress. They knew exactly what they were doing. They targeted mitochondrial functions, and overwrote their DNA to sterilize and wipe them out.”

 

Cressida lowered herself carefully into a nearby chair, “This is genocide.”

 

“I know. They’re trying to wipe them out.”

 

“We have to tell Bash and Carus.”

 

“Let’s go.”

 

But, they did not make it more than five feet out the door before the lab behind them exploded with intense heat and the twisting sound of metal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! That was a touch longer than usual, but I hope you all feel it was worth it. Things are really HEATING up, yeah? (See what I did there?)
> 
> And, to those Kudos, Subscribers, and Bookmarks: YOU GIVE ME LIFE. The moment I see them, words flow from this whirling brain of mine to this little corner of cyberspace. <3


	5. The Secrets You Keep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of the explosion, Bash, Carus, Cressida, and Lanie share what information they have with each other. Carus and Bash have a confrontation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! I reiterate that I have no real knowledge in biology, chemisty, or any useful science. I just like to sound like I know what I'm talking about. ;)
> 
> This is a pretty plot-heavy chapter. And, angsty. Lots of plot and angst. So, buckle up, and ride this through. I promise it will be worth it!

Bash and Carus rushed to the medical bay, coming close to knocking people over in their haste. Carus had made it in first, and went straight for Lanie, “Lane! Are you alright?” He stood before her, fists clenched at his sides, “What happened?” He itched to haul her up off that medical bay bed and not let her down until she was in his quarters – _safe_.

 

It was Cressida who answered, “Apparently, one of the low temperature lasers had something go wrong with it. We’re still trying to figure out how, but it caused it to intensify, get hot enough, and fast enough that some of the more temperature sensitive chemicals overheated and caused some sort of unforeseen chemical chain reaction…” she rubbed her temples. “Honestly, I don’t know. I’m sure that some of those chemicals could have acted as an accelerant, but...” she pursed her lips together.

 

Lanie interrupted, “If the door hadn’t been closed, we would have been burnt alive.”

 

“Stop it, Lane. Stop it.” Cress looked over at her friend, who had gone almost as white as her hair in shock, “We are alive. We made it. Just. _STOP._ ”

 

Lanie’s lip wobbled, “It’s true!” She turned watery blue eyes to Carus, “We had just walked out, Carus. We were only about four or five feet away - ”

 

Cressida snapped, “Well, it didn’t happen. And, the only lives lost were the lives of the damned bacteria and all the damned data. And, that’ll set us back another three to four weeks.” She wasn’t sure who they could trust, and keeping Lanie silent on the facts could be the difference between surviving an accident, or ending up toasted like everything in that lab.

 

Bash’s eyes narrowed at the way Cressida cut Lanie’s concerns off at the legs, “Why so long? You don’t have to repeat those other tests, do you?” _She’s hiding something._

 

“No, but that is how long it took to augment and grow sufficient bacteria.” Her jaw jut out in a stubborn angle, “We have to start that from scratch. The lost data was mostly all the boring recording of how everything did NOT work.” Cress tried in vain to not wring her hands, “Had I been able to compile that data tonight, I would have written up the complete report and we would only have the bacterium to worry about. But, as we had not yet uploaded the mass of information to the ship’s databanks, we have to start over.” she avoided Bash’s eyes, hoping that the males would move on with their investigations so that she could have a private word with Lane.

 

Lanie choked out a wail, “I’m sorry! I told you I was getting to it!” she looked at Carus because _he_ had been the distraction that prevented her from backing up the essential data. _He might have saved my life by keeping me out of there._ Had she not been so hell-bent on checking his DNA, she wouldn’t have discovered the genetic anomaly, and she and Cress would not have been on their way to speak with them. _But, why isn’t Cress saying anything?_

 

That caught Bash’s attention. Why hadn’t their data been backed up yet? Redundant copies should have been a regular part in their routine, “There isn’t anything we can do about the lost data, but I’m sure there is something we can do to prevent this from happening again,” he commented. He noted that Cressida tensed slightly at his comment and added, “It’s just a great relief to see that you are, for the most part, whole and _safe_.” Her eyes snapped up to his, and the furrow in her brow softened a hair. Good. She still felt safe with him, despite his inability to protect her.

 

“We will follow standard investigative procedure to confirm what you have told us.” It was a little too convenient that it happened before the data was uploaded and examined on a larger scale, and his eyes met Bash’s. He had no qualms about being more direct than his milk-brother was being around the women, though he was careful to say it loud enough to not be overhead. “We’ll just have to enlist safeguards to be sure everything is copied in triplicate.” Carus’s tone brooked no argument.

 

Bash nodded his assent, and refrained from speaking as two nurses came in to tend to Cressida’s and Lanie’s abrasions and assure them that there were no broken bones. Once they left, he turned to Cressida, “Would it be too much trouble to ask you Ladies to join us in Carus’s office?” he turned pleading eyes on Cressida, and thanked his lucky stars that he’d had enough of the suppressant to keep him from acting the complete fool and making a ridiculous scene out of this incident. He thought that he’d wanted to hurt someone before he’d been dosed, but this was infinitely more intense than that urge, and he was grateful that he at least had the majority of his mental faculties – and control – back.

 

Carus had already helped Lanie to a standing position, “Please, let us take you somewhere more...” he couldn’t help but keep scanning their surroundings, “...secure.”

 

“Right.” That decided it for Lanie. If nothing else, Carus would protect them, and she needed to be sure he knew what she had discovered, and _how_ she had done it. “No time like the present.”

 

Bash took the opportunity to lightly grab Cressida’s hand under the guise of helping her down to her feet, “I _will_ get to the bottom of this, Cress. I swear it.”

 

Chocolatey brown eyes met with steel-grey ones, and she had just enough wits about her to swallow thickly and nod her agreement.

 

* * *

 

Lazun had been on his way to the medical bay, guilt all but choking him. He rounded the corner as he saw the two females emerge from their brief visit, and paused to consider what a disaster this little diversion had almost become. Hot on their heels, Bash and Carus flanked and followed them. _Shit._ The four people he had tried to distract and keep divided emerged as a group, worried and determined looks plastered all over their faces.

 

He’d done his best to use non-lethal tactics, as his people generally did not agree with any sort of aggression and violence. He’d checked and double checked the usual routines of his labmate, and had been _certain_ she would _not_ be present. He had fudged, faked, and fumbled through what he could. What tinkering he’d done with the data they had been able to record hadn’t been enough though, and once everything was lumped together and examined, the inconsistencies – or rather the _preciseness_ – of every variable would have been too obvious to ignore. They had been ahead of schedule, and he had been desperate and sloppy. The instant he heard the scuffle from Bash and Carus arguing, he’d panicked and left to set up the incendiary device and distract Lanie.

 

Because, he’d smelt it. The pheromones pouring off Bash in waves, enough to choke him, and the undercurrent of pheromones and musk from Carus indicating that he’d had another tumble in the sack with Lanie. He managed to use the timing of that particular clandestine relationship to his benefit in the past, but this time it meant he had to rush. He hastily fitted the device to the low temperature laser, and had rushed to find Lanie, but missed her. He returned to his quarters to anxiously await the detonation of the device, and hoped to present his case that they should return planetside because their results had basically been the same. The bacterium could more effectively be rendered inert in his home lab without raising suspicion. But, that hadn’t happened.

 

The explosion from the device had been a little early. A little bigger than could wholly be explained by an overheating laser. And two females had nearly lost their lives. Two females he had come to respect. Two females that held close ties to the Mammalian Elders. Two females he was sure K’tar would use as leverage. Two females he had unintentionally thrust into the respective laps of his targets. It churned his guts, and he began to wonder how it was that the Elders of his clan had managed to make the decision to go along with this plan in the beginning. Women and children? They were innocents, but he knew K’tar and Z’kip would never see it thus. To them, they were pawns and leverage. A means to an end, and Lazun would have to live with the blood that would be on his hands.

 

He turned on his heels, and prepared to contact K’tar via their shielded communications. He knew he would be forced to engage in direct violence. There would be no coming back from this anymore.

 

* * *

 

The door closed on them, and Bash slid into the nearest chair heavily. He hadn’t the time to recover and re-hydrate from the suppressants, and the realization that Cressida could have been seriously wounded or worse made his gut clench in worry, “Please, Ladies. Sit. We need to have a talk, and hopefully, get a better idea of what happened today.” He rolled his head back on the chair, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath, “The necessary data and samples for our mission has been lost, yes, but we need to figure this out.”

 

“Bash, I think we were sabotaged.” Cressida eyed Lanie nervously. Her friend nodded her head slightly.

 

The silent communication was not lost on Carus, “Why is that?”

 

“Well, I mean, the timing is right, isn’t it?” Cressida’s tone was strained.

 

Bash sat up, “What are you not telling us?” his eyes locked with Cress, and his brow furrowed. “What is it that you know, but are too afraid to tell us, Cressida?”

 

Cress and Lanie exchanged another long, meaningful look before the latter spoke, “I discovered something. But, it wasn’t using any of the samples and procedures that we have in place to ensure uniformity. Except the bacterium.” Lanie swallowed hard, and looked at Carus, “I _may have_ procured genetic material – seminal fluid – from another source to try running a few tests on them as an out-of-the-way, unofficial control specimen.” Her eyes dropped from the intense, green stare, “A-and, I found something. We augmented the bacterium so that it would be able to detect, repair, or destroy any DNA that was considered out of place, mutated, or damaged based on the overall genetic blueprint we have been given to go off.” She began wringing her hands when Carus gently took them into his and gave her a gentle squeeze, “When introduced to the genetic samples we were given, they did _nothing_. Every single sample stayed inert, with no reaction whatsoever.” She gave a shuddering breath, and continued, “But, when it was introduced t-to the samples that I _pilfered_ from Carus, something happ-happened.” She had started hiccuping in little sobs.

 

“Lanie, you need not worry,” Carus gave her another gentle squeeze to her hands, “I’m glad that incorrigible, irreverent streak in you is good for something.” He gave her a wry smile when her eyes snapped up to glare at him.

 

She managed to give him a watery smile before continuing. “The thing is, Gentlemen, that the bacterium did it’s job. It started to repair what it could of the spermatozoa, and the other components of the seminal fluids.” She began rubbing her temples again, “Once it had started, it essentially ate away at existing protein coatings, or rather a particular protein coating, and was rendered neutral.”

 

Bash’s brow furrowed, “Protein coating?” He bit his lip, and started gnawing on it thoughtfully, “Well, there’s usually a protein and carbohydrate combination that functions as a coating for spermatozoa in seminal fluids. That is not unusual.”

 

“It is when the bacterium reveals a virus co-mingling with the usual proteins and genetic material in seminal fluid,” Cressida’s tone had taken on a hard edge, “And, it is such a well _designed_ virus, Bash, that without the introduction of this bacterium, we would have suspected nothing. It is, essentially, a normal spermatozoa, until the mirroring protein coating has been worn away. Once it has been introduced, it targets the very heat markers in your people’s DNA to overwrite themselves into your genetic makeup somehow to where the slightest temperature shifts can result in severe heat delirium. Easily. Quickly.”

 

Bash scowled at her, “But, we have never seen this in any of our tests. There has never been any indication that there is a virus present in any of our samples, much less in our persons.”

 

“That’s because they provide you with scrubbed material, or quite possibly altered data.” Lanie’s voice was small. “That sample material they gave us is not susceptible to this virus somehow. Because, I suppose, that would be safer than just scrubbing data regularly. If this is as serious a conspiracy as I suspect, then any tests done on a sample and person would have to be done with equipment meant to overlook this introduced virus.” She pulled her hands from Carus’s to rub her eyes with the heel of her hands.

 

Cressida sighed, “The bottom line is this: We need to get to a point where we can test the specifics of this virus. Until then, we can only speculate how it works, and why it targeted only bonded pairs and the very young.” Her eyes met Bash’s, and she noted how pale and worn he looked. _What has happened to him?_ “It does not make sense that it could reproduce and be so virulent for you all, specifically target something, and stay active yet dormant, not to mention it does not cross-contaminate the samples you were given. The Insectoids cannot be so foolish enough to create such a sophisticated virus without some safeguards.”

 

Carus threw his head back and pinched the bridge of his nose, “Are we sure that this is the Insectoids?”

 

“The virus overwrites your heat markers with Insectoid heat markers.”

 

_Shit._

 

Bash and Carus exchanged a look, “What the hell is going on, Gentlemen?” Lanie’s shrill voice cut through the tension like a knife, “You brought us here to ask us what we know, and I have the distinct impression that _you_ know something that you are neglecting to share with us!” She clenched her hands into fists, and tried to stifle a tremor, “We’ve already talked about how you CANNOT treat us like damsels in distress – despite the risk to our lives. We have a right to know, dammit.” Carus immediately moved himself to sit next to her, in an attempt to press himself closer to her, “Please, Rus. _Please_.”

 

He glanced up to get approval from Bash, and at the other man’s nod took a deep breath. “Bash and I discovered a case with room for two Insectoid incendiary devices earlier today. We are keeping it as quiet as possible.”

 

“Meaning between the two of you?” a tear worked its way down Lanie’s cheek, “You mean you are the only two who knew about them until just now.”

 

He wiped the tear from her face gently, “Yes.” He struggled to take a breath and say some more to reassure her, and failed. The burning in his gut demanded that he make her feel better, and the only thing he could do was press himself closer to her side, and fight the urge to wrap himself around her and keep her safe.

 

Bash tried to control the shock that must have passed over his face. Carus had to be experiencing the Change. There could be no other explanation for how tense he was, and for the way he kept pressing himself into Lanie’s side. And, it wasn’t entirely clear if the male was even aware of his own instincts, “The device is not meant to create large explosions, but once it burns the materials used to produce it are changed and rendered inert and undetectable. That _is_ their specialty: extreme stealth.” He could feel jealousy well up as he watched Lanie lean into Rus as he wiped the tear from her cheek. It was a struggle to keep his face neutral and his voice level, “Had you Ladies any plan to come and inform us of your discovery?”

 

“What the hell has gotten into you?” Cressida’s tone, usually reserved for Lanie at her worst, had been turned up to an eleven for Bash, “What the hell kind of question is that, Bash?” She could feel her blood pressure rise and take her volume with it, “Are you suggesting that we would be so irresponsible as to _not_ inform you of the _very thing_ I have set my career at risk for?!” She clenched her hands into fists, and fought to hold them on her thighs, “We are talking about _covert genocide_ directed at your people, and you are questioning our openness? Are you insane?!”

 

Bash felt himself sit straighter, eyes wide, “Cress. Cressida, I did not mean -”

 

“ _What_ exactly did you mean?” She asked folding her arms across her chest, head cocked to the side, and fire in her eyes. He was waxen, lethargic, and his eyes were red-rimmed. Paired with his moodiness recently, she was beginning to suspect drug or alcohol abuse. But, that also painted an incongruous picture with the reformed, bad-boy-turned-leader that he and Carus insistently described him as having matured into. _Surely, he couldn’t have relapsed, right?_

 

He avoided eye contact with her, “I apologize. I am not myself today. I spoke without thinking,” he resisted the urge to fold in on himself, “I didn’t mean to insult you. I’m sorry.” He slouched in his seat, rubbing absently at his temple, “I am not much of a wordsmith today, am I?” he sighed wearily. If he could _scent_ her, he would know if she accepted his remorse. He wiped a hand down his face, “There is so much to process and think about here,” and that was the exact reason why he kept himself on the suppressants. _Someone_ had to make sure things did not fall apart.

 

Carus cleared his throat, “Perhaps we should be working on a plan of action?” He tried to deflect some attention from Bash, knowing that the male had not yet recovered from the strain caused by the dose of suppressants.

 

Lanie sat a little straighter, pulling herself away from him slightly, “We need to act as if nothing is amiss. We have to keep going down this path, in the same sequence and pace, that we’ve been going or it will raise suspicion, and it will jeopardize any progress we are to make on the cure with the _actual_ data, genetic samples, and timeline we have been granted.”

 

Bash could hear a buzzing begin at the edges of his consciousness, “Yes, I think that would be the wisest course. We should also convene this meeting so as to not arouse suspicion. Carus and Lanie can continue with their not-so-clandestine meetings to pass information between the two of them, and Cressida and myself share a space so finding time to compare notes should not be too hard.” He stood slowly to ensure he would stay upright, and nodded his head at them, “I am off to my quarters to see if I can sleep of this headache that is building, if that is alright with everyone else?”

 

They all gave him a nod or indication of acceptance, and he turned towards the door only to be met with blackened vision, and a roaring buzz in his ears. Carus leapt from his seat, but Cress was the closest and barely managed to keep his head from bouncing off the floor.

 

“Carus, you had better tell me what the _hell_ is going on with him!”

 

* * *

 

Bash came to in his bunk – with a very worried Cressida hovering over him, “Cress? How did I get here?”

 

“Carus carried you here, and I stayed to make sure you’d stabilize,” she gave him a wary look. She wanted to ask him about what had caused his symptoms and episode, but there was no guarantee he would want to talk about it. “We’re friends, right?” She cocked a questioning brow at him.

 

He felt the air catch in his lungs. The look on her face was so earnest and worried. He had done that. He had caused her to worry, and he felt shame flood him for the first time in decades, “Of _course_ we are friends, Cress.” He felt the solemnity of his words resonate deep in his gut, and dared to hope that she would feel the same.

 

She felt her cheeks heat, and dropped her gaze, “Good, because I want you to know that nothing could change that. Ever.” Her heart fluttered a little in her chest, in the hopes that maybe one day they could be more, and she looked at him again, “Are you okay? What happened today?”

 

Bash sat up, and threw his legs over the side to lean his elbows on his knees, “I’m not entirely sure,” that part was true. He wasn’t _entirely_ certain that what happened related _entirely_ back to a too strong dose of suppressants. “I was starting to feel colder than normal, a little dizzy, weak...thirsty.” He sighed and tilted his head up to look her in the eyes, “I could hear buzzing in my ears, and saw the edges of my vision blur.” She anxiously bit a corner of her lower lip, and he fought the urge to grab her and kiss the worry from her face, “I wanted to get back here so that you would not have to see me like that. It’s – I’m embarrassed that I didn’t quite make it alone.” He rubbed the back of his neck with one hand, “I’m probably guilty of not taking care of myself in one way or another - ”

 

“Because you worry for the rest of us and don’t eat or rest enough.” Her tone was very cut and dry. She was struggling to not react to his honesty. “It was a harebrained, worthless Alpha move, Bash.” She clung to the outrage and fear that attempted to fade after hearing his soft, smoky voice utter apologies and admit his weaknesses.

 

His eyes shifted away from hers for a moment, “I know.” He felt raw, and nausea threatened to rise from the seat of Cressida’s hold within him. _I am lying to her, and she trusts me enough to believe the lie._ He put his head in his hands, “I’m sorry. I really don’t know what has come over me.” More lies. The weight of it pressed down on him and stole the air from his lungs. He shifted to put his head in his hands, “I’m so sorry.”

 

Cressida shifted closer to him, and put a small, warm hand on his back, “It’s okay, Bash. I understand. You’ve had to hold yourself together for your people. The discovery of possible sabotage and treason is enough to send any sane person over the edge.” She leaned in enough to let her head rest on his shoulder, “I just want you to know I am here. If you need a friend, a confidant, a sounding board – I’m here.” She ached to be more than that to him, but if friendship was all he could offer, she would take it gladly, protect it, and nurture it.

 

“Thank you, Cress. I promise I will do better, and not worry you so much. If that means I talk more, then so be it.”

 

“Good.”

 

* * *

 

Carus had just left Lanie’s quarters after reassuring her that she was safe, and indulging in his own carnal need for her. He could still smell her on him, and it soothed his Alpha to know he had been able to comfort her. He turned the corner from his quarters, and stopped suddenly. “Bash?” The look on his milk-brother’s face was hauntingly similar to the look he wore when he had told him that _all_ the Elders had finally descended into heat delirium.

 

“We need to talk.”

 

“Well, let’s take this inside. Whatever it is you have to say, it cannot be good.” Carus ran a hand through his hair in a frustrated manner, “You have some of your own explaining to do.”

 

The walked over the threshold, into Carus’s quarters together, “I know, Rus. I swear there is a good reason for all of this.”

 

Carus threw himself onto his couch, and reveled in how he could still smell Lanie on himself and let the coil of tension relax in his gut. She was safe. She trusted him. They would get to the bottom of this. “So, how long have you been dosing yourself?”

 

“Shortly after we embarked for the Expanse. I could _smell_ her, Rus. I didn’t want our people to think that she had already found a cure and we were hoarding it - ”

 

“That is the dumbest damned thing I have heard you say to date.” Carus’s eyes blazed with rage, “NO ONE would think you were doing anything dishonest after all the _shit_ you have endured in the name of keeping our species alive, Bash. And, to think that anyone would discriminate against you for it is just – just _idiotic_.” He threw his head back for his tried and true maneuver when stressed, “And, what’s worse is that you’ve not thought about how this will affect your health, and how you _cannot go home_!”

 

Bash tried to roll his shoulders, “I’m only just in the beginning stages. A scent here and there, urges to dominate and protect – the basics. So long as I suppress this, I will be able to go home, without fear of succumbing to the Delirium.” He fixed his gaze on his milk-brother, “But, I’m not so worried about that anymore.”

 

“What the hell do you mean? You cannot suppress this for too long. You will grow weaker, sicker, and she will grow old and _die_ , Bash! They do not live as long as we do!” He desperately longed to knock some sense into his companion, “What will you do when she dies and you are unbonded? Is that the miserable future you want for yourself?!”

 

Bash sighed, “I will tell her. I will come off the suppressants, and I will eventually bond with her, and it will be okay.” he turned a questioning eye to Carus, “What about you?”

 

“What about me?” He could feel himself bristle and tense at the question, “What the hell does _your_ bonding and impending Rut have anything to do with me?” He folded his arms over his chest, and suppressed the desire to growl and snarl at Bash.

 

Steel-grey eyes took in the stiffness of his shoulders, and the tension around his mouth and eyes, “What will you do about your Change, Brother?” he tried to sound as non-threatening and non-accusatory as possible, “How will you continue, _with_ her, knowing that you are dangerously close to a complete bond yourself?”

 

Carus jumped up at his words, “You need to watch what the _fuck_ you are saying, Bash! You have _NO IDEA_ what the hell you are talking about!” He wanted to attack him. He wanted to wipe the certainty from his face, and the words he feared hearing from his mouth. He had wanted another few days or weeks to live out this dream – this fantasy – before he returned himself to the harsh reality of life. His people NEEDED him, and he could not stay offworld when he and his expertise would be needed planetside.

 

“That is hardly fair, Brother. You cannot sit there and accuse me of pointlessly poisoning myself - ”

 

“I never did such a thing. I just said that it was stupid to deny what you have.”

 

“And, what _exactly_ is so different about your situation and my own?” Bash allowed himself to slouch and throw his head back on the couch, “The only difference is the suppressants. They’re allowing me to think clearly, keep my control and temper, and regulate my own responses to Cressida without disrupting the function of anything we need to accomplish.”

 

Carus felt the rage drain from him. Bash was right, of course. He pinched the bridge of his nose, “I don’t know, Bash. I just don’t know. Our people do not have a successful history with suppressants and denying our natures. Things always end violently and disturbingly tragic,” he looked over at his milk-brother, remembering just how deprived of love and distant he had been as a child and youth. “You deserve better than that, Rus.”

 

“Then, I shall make a deal with you, Brother. I will only continue the suppressants until such time that the cure has been successfully implemented, and I will then tell Cressida what has been going on.” he nodded his head, satisfied with his own plan of action.

 

“She was worried, you should know, and she refused to leave your side. I had to concoct some lie about how you always ran yourself into the ground, and refused to take care of yourself ever since the Rising. I told her it was some sort of atonement for the sins you felt you had committed against your parents and our culture.” Carus shook his head at his own cunning.

 

Bash stared vacantly at the ceiling above them, “That would explain the talk she gave me, and why she was so understanding earlier.” He looked over at Rus, and their eyes met, “Thank you, brother, for protecting me and protecting my secret.”

 

“It’s what we do, is it not?” he shrugged.

 

“I know. Now, what do you think you should do about your situation with Lanie? If you are bonded, I will not hesitate to ban you from our homeworld, Brother. We cannot have you be so stubborn as to expose yourself to unnecessary danger and run the risk of killing yourself.” It felt weird to be the one to look after the _him_.

 

Carus shrugged, “I suppose I should just refrain from being around her anymore, until such time that I can claim her.” His brow furrowed, “When do you think that will be?”

 

“I’m not so sure, Rus. But we should pray to the Ancestors that neither of us fall into a Rut before we are able to get back planetside to deal with this mess.

 

And, he was right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! That wasn't too bad, right? It took a bit of pacing, cursing, coffee, walking away, and work to get this thing to where it is right now. Hopefully, it'll be smoother sailing from here on out. 
> 
> Leave a comment, kudos, subscribe, send your friends. Let me know how I'm doing. Ask me questions. I'd love to hear what you think. 
> 
> As for the smut? Um....I might be able to whip something together for the next chapter. ;) Who's with me?


	6. Stalemate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stage one of the Plan begins. Bash and Cressida keep unintentionally friend-zoning each other. Carus is a bonehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: If men who play games, manipulate, and generally come off as players and users bothers you, read at your own risk. And, Carus is more of a bonehead than usual. And, there is smut.

Cressida threw herself onto her bunk, flung her arm over her eyes, and let the grief, fear, and anxiety she’d been tamping down to wash over her. _God! I’m such an idiot!_ Lanie had originally fought against looking into and accepting this mission. It was partly why she’d acted out and aggravated Carus, but now Cress knew her friend was as deeply invested in this as she.

 

All the negotiating. The arguing. The bribery. The stonewalling. Everything came into sharp focus, and she felt nausea threaten to boil over. She’d placed her entire reputation and career on the line for this mission, this was to be her crowning achievement, and now everything hinged on the violence that would undeniably explode when accusations and evidence of genocide were exposed.

 

She choked out a sob, as she thought of Bash. The male had gone through so much for his people, and he finally looked to be on the impending tail end of a crash and burn of spectacular proportions. He and Carus may think that they’d had her fooled with the talk of being worn from not resting or eating enough, but she’d taken his pulse and checked his autonomic responses after Carus had left. Blood pressure, temperature, and pupil dilation were all consistent with some sort of overdose. It was possible that he was also showing some sort of pain response, but his alertness and _smell_ upon waking had shook her.

 

His _smell_.

 

For a few moments, she’d felt as if she were surrounded with the smell of a decadent, nutty coffee with hints of spicy cinnamon and buttery toffee. The phantom smell had made her feel as if lightning had jolted down her spine, and made heat intensify at her core. She’d felt herself start to feel intensely aroused – completely and frighteningly different from any other time that she was around him – and she’d almost pounced on him. Instead, she’d asked him _“We’re friends, right?”_ in an attempt to ground herself. And, the scent of him had faded just as quickly as she had imagined it. Jesus. She had to be going insane.

 

She had to get a grip. They were friends, and pining over someone who would never see them as anything more was a stupid, _stupid_ thing to do. In the beginning, she’d been sure that he was reacting to her the same way she reacted to him.

 

The glances, the physical touches, all the things that could not be wholly written off as a platonic relationship flooded back to her. There were times he looked at her, and everything else was blown away into oblivion. His touch was never inappropriate, but neither was it loaded with insinuation. Instead, he was tender, gentle, and firm. And, it always set fire to her. He was always so sure, so confident, and calm. It always made a small voice in her head scream at her to give him whatever he wanted – to submit wholly to him. But, it seemed he only wanted to be friends.

 

When he had made that announcement about fraternization between “direct colleagues” she couldn’t help but feel put off. It was almost as if he had read all the dirty thoughts that had been running through her head, and squashed any opportunity she had to make a fool of herself. Yet, she still foolishly held out hope that he would turn to her one day.

 

A knock roused her from her self-pitying musings, with the buzzer from her door following the knock in quick succession. “Just a moment!” She called, as she got up and tried to right herself. There was no real point in trying to hide the fact she had been crying. It would have been easy to pass it off as the shock from the events of the past few days catching up with her, but she wasn’t so sure she wanted to pretend right now. She took a deep breath, and palmed the door open. “Drenu!”

 

His amber eyes were narrowed, and a flush dusted his cheeks, “Are you alright? I heard what happened, but when I got to the Med Bay yesterday, you had already left with _him_.” His mouth was pulled tight, almost a frown, “And, they said you were locked in with him in his quarters until this morning. Is that true?” He was breathing heavily.

 

Cress cocked her head to the side, “Drenu, are you alright? You don’t look like you’re doing too well.” She felt herself draw back and pull her arms up to cross them defensively over her chest, “You seem a little...agitated?” She eyed him carefully, “Bash was not feeling well, and Carus helped to move him to his quarters, and I sat with him until he regained consciousness.”

 

“Is that _all_ you did?” she noticed that his fists were clenched at his sides, despite his shoulders looking deceptively loose, “You just _sat_ with him?” the color was rising in his cheeks.

 

“I am not sure what it is that you are implying, Drenu. Bash and I are friends, and I did what any friend would do. Carus had to return to his rounds and do some more investigating on what happened in Lanie’s lab.” she could feel the hair on her neck prickle in a warning. Something about his body language didn’t quite add up.

 

“Of _course_ he would return to check on his lover’s safety. Much like you were doing for yours.” His mouth had turned down further, eyes downcast and filling with what could be tears.

 

“Lovers?” Cressida’s heart thumped loudly in her chest, “He and I are _not_ lovers, Drenu. We never have been and we – we never will be.” It nearly choked her to admit as much. “Besides, what makes you think that he would break the fraternization rule that he and your people have adopted? What makes me so special?”

 

Drenu reached up to clutch his hair in his fists, causing a tangled, golden halo to frame his face as he lowered his hands, “I – I don’t know what is wrong with me, Cressida. I feel possessive of you…desperate sometimes. It – it doesn’t make sense.” He looked up at her, helplessness reflected in his eyes, “I’ve come to see how you look at him, Cress. It is plain as day how you feel about him, and I can’t abide the thought of him running through you like he did with the rest of our females.”

 

That did it, and her trademark, inelegant snort filled the space between them, “I doubt that.” She nailed him with a shrewd look, “From what I hear, you are closing in on the heels of his previous reputation and record, Drenu.” She puckered her mouth, truth tasting sour and bitter in her mouth, “And, now that I’m seeing it in _action_ I can see how you use that cherubic face of yours to sway and melt any hardened hearts around you.”

 

Drenu gave her a mischievous smile as he dropped his act to lean against the doorjamb, “And, they said that Lanie was the one with the sharp eyes.” The amber of his eyes glittered with molten gold, “I suppose I shouldn’t try to lie to you, then? Then, how about if I told you just how _interested_ I have been?”

 

Cress felt her gut tighten. He was very pretty. Very. “You are absolutely shameless, Drenu.”

 

He rolled his tongue over his lips sensuously, “And, I’ll bet you taste amazing,” he let his eyes droop sleepily, “Would you let me find out? I’ve been thinking about your curves; wondering where you are most sensitive, curious about how responsive you’d be.”

 

Cressida raised her hand to rub the back of her neck while she cast her eyes up at the ceiling and took a deep breath. His words were pretty, and that baritone rumble would have done something for her – she was sure – had her desire not lie elsewhere, “I really don’t think that’s going to happen. She leveled him with a hard look, “I won’t even bother with silly platitudes and apologies. You know this is _not_ going to happen.”

 

The tension and sensuality left his frame, “Awww, Cress, it was worth a try,” he gave her another half smile, “You always seem so sad, and I had hopes that you would allow me some liberties to help you feel better.” His gaze softened, “Bash is not a male that any female should pine over.”

 

“You are a menace. You know that, right?” When he gave her another smirk in response, Cressida groaned in defeat, “Fuck. Am I so obvious, Dren? It’s stupid, right?” she rubbed the palms of her hands into her eyes, “I’m a damned fool.”

 

“No, Cress. You’re a hopeless romantic. I wanted and tried to be that for you.” Drenu’s voice was soft, and comforting, “And, someday, some male will be braver than I am and will sweep you off your feet, ravish you, and never let you go.”

 

“Excuse me. I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Bash’s voice, thick and slightly panicked, drifted in from behind Drenu. “I didn’t realize -”

 

“No, no, Bash. I was just leaving. The good Doctor, here, was just putting me in my place.” Drenu slowly pulled himself upright, and winked at Cress, “I’ll be seeing you around, Doc.” He turned to Bash, “I’ve been turned down again, Friend. It seems her interests lie elsewhere.” He pat Bash’s shoulder and stepped around him and promptly left.

 

Bash could feel the tense, bristling sensation tear through his gut – suppressants be damned. He struggled to open his mouth and ask after her. But Drenu’s words swirled in his head like an angry cyclone, _‘...will sweep you off your feet, ravish you, and never let you go...’_ He felt his stomach churn. She didn’t want Drenu, So who could it be? Human biology was not like his own, so they were not limited in their attraction and commitment. She couldn’t necessarily scent him just because _he_ could scent _her_. _Fuck._

 

“Bash?”

 

His eyes snapped up to hers, “Yes?”

 

“I asked why you were here...” she shifted her weight uncomfortably and wouldn’t meet his eyes. They were so intense, and seemed to glow with some emotion she was unable to place. Knowing that she had not effectively hid the way she felt from prying eyes, Cress felt edgy, vulnerable, and exposed.

 

Bash quickly found his voice, “I wanted to thank you for looking after me the other day. I know things have been a little tense and awkward while we try to figure this all out, and I wanted to be certain you knew just how grateful I am for our friendship.” _And, I also needed to scent you...here...where it is strongest._ He wanted to kick himself or have Carus kick some sense into him.

 

“Come in and sit down, Bash. You don’t have to lurk around my door,” she couldn’t keep the exhaustion and annoyance from her voice. “I decisively put Drenu in his place tonight. It was so easy to see through his act, in the end. And, I told him as much.” She sighed as she threw her head back to rest on the couch, and put her feet up on her coffee table.

 

“He didn’t sound too discouraged to me,” he couldn’t keep the pout out of his voice.

 

“He was still trying to charm me by telling me that someone would eventually sweep me off my feet, Bash. He said I was a hopeless romantic, and told me I would be swept away, ravished, and trapped by some poor, foolish male.” She was feeling morose and bitter, and it felt _good_ for once. “It won’t matter. Once we figure out how to proceed here, we can effectively reverse this entire clusterfuck of a virus, and I will head off on another impossible and reckless mission. Males forgotten, hopeless romanticism discarded.” She shook her head.

 

Bash looked at her thoughtfully, silently memorizing the planes of her face, “Why is it you have no male, Cressida? Drenu’s attentions are not completely without merit. And, yet, you turn him down, and speak as if you will never experience romantic entanglements.”

 

Cress curled her nose and groaned, “Have you seen the males I have to work with regularly? They are all so _fixated_ on being the best in the field and being right, they can’t stomach being in a relationship with a woman who threatens their own mastery over their field of choice, Bash. The few males I actually attempted to a few dates with would wax poetic on how they wanted a female to understand that they were the _do_ _minant figure_ in a relationship, and how they expected _their female_ to follow meekly, and trust that they would make the right decision _for_ them.”

 

“So, they are dominant?” his brow furrowed in confusion. It didn’t sound so far off from how relationships functioned within the bonded relationships of his people. “Why is that such a bad thing?”

 

“They aren’t _dominant_ , Bash. They are domineering. They don’t want a female who thinks for herself. And, a few tried to tell me that I needed to be _more feminine_ and stop trying to be so _hyper-masculine_ because it detracted from my other more attractive qualities,” she sneered at the memories.

 

“More attractive qualities?”

 

She cast a lazy look over at him, “My physical attributes. My looks were important to them, and undoubtedly what my looks inspired them to do, than what actually makes me _ME_.”

 

His voice was low, soft and filled with some emotion she couldn’t quite name, “And, what is it you want in a male?”

 

“Pffffffttttt,” Cress shrugged, “I don’t know. Someone who won’t pull that sort of nonsense on me.”

 

“That is awfully vague, Cressida.” He tried to keep his tone light, but he was dying to know what she really desired – if nothing else to just fuel his tired, distant fantasies.

 

She groaned, “I don’t know. Just that basic, alpha-male bullshit.” He froze. As did she. “Well, I mean,” she could feel herself get flustered, heat spreading across her cheeks, “Humans really have no actual _genetic_ basis for their -” her mouth took off, oblivious to the need for thought and careful consideration, “ - boneheaded, dominant, overprotective alpha – OHMYGOD why am I still talking?!”

 

Bash chuckled, “I think I understand what you mean, Cress, rest easy. Alpha dominance can be a serious problem, even for my people. It causes us to make some of the stupidest decisions and feel the worst things when some temperance and patience would do.” He gave her a warm smile when she shifted to meet his eyes, “And, it isn’t what it’s cracked up to be sometimes,” his smile softened a shade more.

 

“You sound like you speak from experience,” she smiled back.

 

“Perhaps a little, but it’s very limited considering the circumstances.”

 

Again, with the cold bucket. She was truly puzzled as to how he could seem so warm and attentive one minute and as impassive and cold as a glacier the next.

 

“I came to talk with you about a plan that Carus and I are trying to settle,” he said after the long, pregnant pause between them. “I am afraid I may need your help, though I hesitate to place you in any potentially dangerous situation.”

 

She folded her arms across her chest again, “I’m in danger by heading this mission in the first place, Bash. That was made quite clear in the explosion. Do not fool yourself into thinking I am not already in danger.” She tried to stifle the urge to kick the indifference from his face.

 

“Carus said you would feel as much,” he tried to not sulk. “Either way, your presence will be necessary to pull off the next part of our ruse.”

 

She straightened her shoulders, and resolved to set aside her own disappointment and help Bash in whatever way she could, no matter how much it hurt, “Alright, what do you need me to do?”

 

* * *

 

“Returning? Already?” Lazun struggled to keep his tone light and unaffected, “I had no idea we had to restock so soon!”

 

Lanie kept her shoulders loose, and let all the tension furrow in her brow, “Cressida says she’d like to try a new direction with the tests and genetic samples. She’s pretty set on picking up enough material and chemicals to total about three times the supplies we started with,” she kept her breathing steady, and thanked whatever Ancient Gods were looking out for them that Cressida actually formulated an explanation that was feasible and sensible. “She is also talking to our government to see if we can get a ship with a larger, common lab space to reduce the back and forth she feels is eating up into important time that can be used for multi-level experimentation. And, for the most part, I agree with her. My job of observing, recording, and documenting large scale changes in different stages will certainly be much more efficient if I’m able to step back and take in an overall look at everything.”

 

“Yes, your ability to discern hues in chemical mixtures is comparable to our own sophisticated machinery, Lanie. Are you certain you aren’t genetically enhanced somehow?” he teased gently. If she were able to color code and visually compare vidscreen closeups of everything, data tampering would be rendered useless. And, colorants could easily be added to sample and petri dishes to ensure that temporal tampering had not been done.

 

Lanie tittered, “We’ve been over this, Lazun. You know that I have _not_ had alterations or gene therapy!” she busied herself with finishing the compilation of equipment, space, and materials she would need for their new, hypothetical lab environment. “How much of that growing medium do we have left?” she pointed her stylus just past his knee.

 

“Ah, yes, I believe we still have five pallets of growing medium,” he caught a whiff of pheromones before he saw Carus stride into the room, “Carus, dear friend! What an unexpected surprise!” he chirped as the male came into view.

 

“Lazun,” he tipped his head towards the Amphibian male. “I just came to see if I might be able to steal Lanie away for the rest of the day,” his pupils were blown, and there was a tense set to his shoulders.

 

Lanie looked up and blushed, “I’ve just a few more items to add,” she murmered as her stylus tapped furiously on her tablet surface. “There! I’m done!” She looked up and gave Carus a winning smile before she noticed the tense set to his shoulders.

 

“That’s great, let’s head out, Lane.” He all but growled at her.

 

“Rus? Are you okay?” her voice sounded small and breathy.

 

He turned to her in one slow, smooth, controlled movement, “Everything is fine. I have just been looking forward to spending some time with you,” he rumbled out his chest, and slowly reached to place a hand around her waist. “I hope you don’t mind.”

 

She felt a flush crawl up her neck and face. She _knew_ that look, and she knew exactly what he had been looking forward to, “Well, that’s sweet!” she gave him an overly bright smile, “I guess I will see you later, Lazun! Ta ta!!!” she waggled her fingers in his direction as she rushed out of Carus’s grip, around the corner, and down the hall to her quarters as quickly as she could.

 

“Oh dear, Carus. It looks like she’s set to have you give chase,” Lazun casually nudged. These two were definitely in the Change, and that meant that K’tar would need confirmation as well as be informed of the change in the mission plan. He did not look forward to telling him any of it.

 

Carus carefully strolled around the corner, and made his way to Lanie’s quarters. He could feel his muscles bunch together as he walked, and could smell the faint traces of her scent. It usually took more to get her worked up, but the sharp, musky edge to her fruity scent had him fighting to keep from panting, pushing past, and growling at everyone he came across. She was _his_. She belonged to _him_. And, that was a problem.

 

He would indulge himself this _one last time_ , and then he would have to turn his full attention to his people. He would set her aside, for her protection, and continue on with what he and Bash had started before everything had gotten so complicated and messed up. He would take his time, and imprint himself on her skin, as she was already imprinted on his, and pray that the ugliness of this business would be over before he was too late – before she was too old, and had moved on without him.

 

He caught a glimpse of platinum hair rounding the last of the turns towards Lanie’s quarters, and felt his gut tighten, burn, and send out tendrils of heat through his bones and muscles. His heart began to race, and he fought with himself to stay calm enough to not lose control. He turned the last corner and watched as she palmed her door open, tossed her hair over her shoulder to look back at him with a coy smile, and stepped through the threshold. He found himself wondering if her skin would be hot to the touch, her core almost too hot for comfort. She always felt just this side of too hot, too intense, but he would happily burn if it meant he could bury himself deep within her and leave his mark.

 

Carus was always an impressive male specimen, but in this moment he was mouthwateringly intense. His normally green irises thinly framed his wide, blown pupils. His narrow hips swayed side to side as he stalked towards her. She had intimate knowledge of the range of motion and flexibility of those hips, and it caused her temperature skyrocket. She could feel perspiration gather on her skin, her insides melt together in that haze his attentions always brought, and slick start to seep from her core. His shoulders and arms bunched and tensed in a way that made her hope and pray he would wrap them around her like warm, flexible steel bands and hold her at his mercy.

 

“That look on your face almost makes me think I’m in trouble, Carus.”

 

“You just might be.” He voice was barely over a growl as the door slid closed behind him. He flared his nostrils and took a long, deep drag of the air around him. He wanted to _howl_. The air was thick with her scent, and he felt as if he would come – be it out of his skin, or in his pants – and he fought to approach her slowly. “You smell delicious, Lanie.” He dipped his chin to his chest and stalked towards here, eyes blazing, “Will you let me taste you?”

 

She tried to catch her breath as his eyes glittered behind his thick, dark lashes. He was ever the predator, and she felt a desire to be captured and devoured shoot up her spine, “Are you saying you are _hungry_ , Rus?” she slowly inched backwards, keeping her steps quiet and her weight evenly distributed across her slight frame, “Because, I can just go and make a sandwich if you’re really _that_ hungry.”

 

He snarled as he stalked towards her, “Lanie.” It was the only warning she got, and she bolted towards her bunk, and tried to not mewl in need as he snagged her waist from behind, “You shouldn’t tease. You know what I want.”

 

She felt goosebumps break out all over her skin as her skin flushed with heat and want, “You like it when I tease you.” She felt breathy, out of control, and struggled to hold it together as smoky, peppery chocolate invaded her senses, sending a rush of moisture between her legs. His chest rumbled against her back, and suddenly her clothes were too restricting and she couldn’t control the panting that puffed out her mouth.

 

“You just wanted to be caught, Lane, and you are well and truly caught, now.” Carus nuzzled his nose against the cord in her neck, and fought the urge to bite and mark her again, “Are you going to open for me? Spread those long, smooth legs for me?” He needed her keening and writhing below him. He ran his free hand down her side, over the mound of her ass, and palmed himself through his pants, “Are you going to take me in, and hold me in, Lanie?” he rumbled and nipped at her ear.

 

She felt a whine bubble up from her throat, “You are trying to make promises you won’t be able to keep,” she challenged. His hand came up from her waist, caressing and moving between her breasts, and settled at the base of her throat.

 

“Is that so?” he ground himself into her ass as he used the hand he had been palming himself with to grip her hip tight and pull her into him, “You had better be careful, my little silver minx, you might find you’ve gotten yourself in deeper than you anticipated.”

 

Her arm came up and tugged on his hair, “So many promises, so few actions,” she gasped as he whirled her around, both hands resting on her collarbones.

 

His eyes, half lidded, met hers, “Oh, really? Then, let this be my final promise to you tonight: I promise you won’t want me to stop.” He leaned in to take her mouth in his, and ran his hands down to her breasts and filled his hands, massaging a groan from her.

 

She struggled to find her equilibrium, but Carus always sent her reeling when he was like this: dominant, certain, playing on her every trigger. She felt a deep, throaty moan bubble up in her throat as she felt him nip at her neck and pluck at her nipples under her shirt. She felt herself break, “Carus, please. Please.”

 

“Shhhhhh.” He edged her back and down onto her bunk, and eased her down, “Let me take care of you. I’ve got you, Lanie,” he whispered hoarsely as he undid the fastenings on her shirt and gently peeled it back and off her shoulders. He leaned in to mouth at her nipples through her light bra, basking in the writhing, whining mess she became. But, he needed more. He tugged at her hips, to slowly pull her pants and underthings down her hips, caressed down her thighs and calves as he nibbled and nipped his way down her torso. The lower and closer he got to her core, the more his muscles tensed in tightly coiled control. “I’m going to taste you, Lanie. Open up for me.”

 

She threw her head back and mewled when his beard rubbed across the top of her mound as he scented her deeply, “ _Shit_.” Her legs thrust apart of their own accord, and her hands shot to his head to pull him closer to her core. “Shitshitshit,” the litany echoed through her quarters as his hot breath traced over her core. “ _Please_.” Something intense and needy tightened within her as she felt him nudge at her opening with his lips.

 

He groaned into her. She was musky, heady, and slippery wet with her own slick. He let his tongue gently probe at her opening. His senses exploded, and he found himself gripping the globes of her ass in his hands as he dove into her core, lapping at her lips, nuzzling and nibbling his way up to her clit until he sucked the hardened nub into his mouth and began teasing at it with his tongue. He would die. He would die on his homeworld, in service to his people, but he would die knowing how she tasted, how she moved under him while he devoured her, and he would die knowing what it was like to make her come with his mouth.

 

Lanie’s hips shot up into his mouth when he’d swallowed her up like a man dying of thirst. She could feel the rumble in his chest as his tongue flicked mercilessly at her clit. She was vaguely aware of moans and groans echoing around her, but could barely register that they were coming from her. She felt a tight pulsing begin in her core, and she gripped his hair tightly, “Shitshitshit. I need – I need -” he thrust two fingers into her then, and she felt her orgasm crest over her and a flood of moisture at her core. She could hear Carus slurp and lick, and suck her lips and her clit into his mouth as he moaned decadently. His fingers stroked in and out of her, and kept her riding the wave of her climax, and just as she felt herself slowly start to come down, he broke away from her core.

 

“I don’t think so, Lanie. I don’t recall telling you that you could come down,” he crawled up her body, face glistening with moisture, “You can’t come back down right now,” his hands quickly made light work of stripping off her bra and releasing his engorged member from his pants. He gently lined himself up with her dripping cunt, placed one hand her hip, and thrust the other into her hair, “You’re going to keep coming for me, Lanie,” his voice was a deep, commanding grumble, and she felt herself clench. “Keep your eyes on me,” he leaned in to kiss her mouth. She craned her neck up to reach for his mouth, and he slammed into her core.

 

Lanie tried to arch her hips off the mattress and into his thrust, but he held her there, “I don’t think so, you little minx. You’re going to take what I give you.” His hips retracted enough for the tip of his cock to barely rest at her opening, and he thrust back in, grinding his pelvis into her clitoris.

 

Lanie squealed, unable to pull together a coherent thought or sound. She might have been coming down from her climax, but she certainly wasn’t now. He had pushed her right back over the edge with one well-timed nudge of his hips. She clung to him where she could, and opened herself up as much as she could to his onslaught. She felt her cunt clench around him, and felt another flood of wetness envelop them both. Carus groaned and felt the tell-tale burning and stretching at the base of his member. Only she did this to him. Only she had the power to turn him into a rutting animal, desperate to lose himself within her hot, tight walls.

 

He shifted his hips, and she groaned and went limp, the intensity of her continuing orgasm wrecking her ability to move, demanding that she just _take_ what he gave her. He snarled and growled into her neck when he felt her body go limp, and her core become incredibly tight around his member, “Beg me, Lanie.”

 

A breath puffed past her parched lips, “P-please. _Please_.”

 

“Please what?” he he continued to drive himself into her, grinding against her pelvis, panting at the way his knot was beginning to catch at her entrance, “Please what, Lanie. Use that pretty mouth of yours to tell me what you need.”

 

She began to thrash her head, finding a well of control and energy, and hiked one knee up higher into the mattress, “ _PLEASE_ , Carus.” Her voice caught as he pressed into _that_ spot when she shifted her leg, “P-please _knot me_.” She finally let herself go, and went reeling and careening, taken over by orgasmic bliss, riding out wave after wave of intensity. Absolutely senseless to anything but the thrumming and pulsing within her.

 

He snarled and bit into the cord of her neck, spilling himself into her, cramming his knot deep within her, and lost himself in her scent and flesh.

 

* * *

 

Lanie came to in her bunk, lights having been dimmed, and feeling deliciously sore. She stretched and reached back for Carus. He wasn’t there, and the spot he usually occupied was ice cold. She sat upright, and looked around, and saw the note he’d left on her coffee table.

 

“Are you _fucking kidding_ me? How fucking cliché!” She could feel her hands begin to tremble as she clutched her coverlet to her chest, and stood on wobbly legs. The pit of her stomach threatened to drop out, but she held her head up high, took a deep breath, and crossed the room to read.

 

She _knew_ he was growing attached. She _knew_ he was in deep. Just like she was. She _knew_ they were experiencing the Change. It was why she had stupidly taken samples to test. And, the damned fool was running from her again. For all his bold talk of how she wanted to be caught, he certainly did have a sadistic desire to make her chase after him. But, not this time. She picked up his note and read:

 

_Lanie,_

 

_You know that I cannot leave that damned fool to embark on this crusade on his own. If I do, he will surely crash and burn. I cannot let that happen._

 

_I do not expect you to wait, or pine after me. You are too incorrigible and irreverent for that sort of sentimental nonsense. I can only hope that our paths will cross again, sooner rather than later._

 

_Don’t hate me too much._

_Carus_

 

Definitely not this time. That idiot _alpha_ would have to come for her this time. And, she would wait for as long as it took. And, when he came crawling back, she would make him pay for it. Flesh for flesh, pound for pound.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are about to get really hairy for Bash and his people. You thought they had it bad, but this isn't the half of it. Angst, near misses, and smut are on the horizon. 
> 
> Thanks again for tuning into our most recent chapter of angst and smut. I really appreciate those who have been checking in, and keeping up with this wee brainchild.
> 
> Leave kudos, bookmarks, subscriptions, and send your friends this way! I'll make it worth it. ;)


	7. Uprising

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The consequences of discovery come crashing down on everyone. Is nothing sacred? Can anything be salvaged?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I went heavier with angst than I even knew I was capable of generating, and I spent much of this chapter swinging back and forth between wanting to angry-cry or be sick to my stomach. You have been warned. There is also some physical violence that can be a surprise/shock/off-putting. I promise it will be explained later. Go with it.

 

“We are not going to be able to fulfill your request, Cressida. I’m sorry. The Biological Commission is reluctant to commit more resources to a project whose results have already shown an unfavorable outcome.” The Chairman Viceroy’s face pulled down into a scowl, “And, it is not a good use of your talents.”

 

Cressida was hard-pressed to not roll her eyes, “I’m quite certain that we will have better success with a different lab setup where we can get through a bulk of the gruntwork - ”

 

“You know, if you would just come _home_ , I have a few perspective men here who are _very_ good candidates if you would just put in some time.”

 

She held her chin to her chest and stared down at where her arms crossed over each other across her chest. It would always be this way. Even in adulthood, even in a successful career, Cressida was still beholden to the fickle whims of overbearing parents, “No, Mother,” she sighed, “The last few you tried to pair me with were more threatened by my success than they were actually interested in me.”

 

“You never gave Jake a chance!” Her mother clucked disapprovingly, “Besides, how else do you expect to keep your man in line? He has to feel like he needs to work to deserve you!”

 

“He insisted that I retire and never practice again.”

 

The Viceroy’s chocolaty gaze fell to her daughter’s face, “Well, maybe he was less than ideal.” She puckered her lips. “But, you will not be so limited, this time. Besides, from the sounds of it, that little project of yours is falling through. Just come ho - ”

 

“If I have to, I _will_ take this to the Committee myself, Chairman Viceroy. I came to you out of professional courtesy.” she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, “And, I’m sure we are on a better track than we originally were.”

 

“Who is he?”

 

Cressida looked up at her mother, and took a long, hard look. She and her mom shared so many similar traits: hair color, eye color, skin tone, inquisitive mind, the ability to puzzle out solutions. But, Cress was taller, broader in the shoulders, narrower in the hips, more curvaceous, and where her mother hosted a stone-cold block of ice in her chest, Cress had a warm and genuine, gooey mess that burned to help people of all sorts. “There is no ‘he’, Mother.” She furrowed her brown and continued, “I will wait another day before I take this to the Committee.” She reached out to turn off the comm unit.  


“I just want to see you settled and happy, Cress. If there _were_ someone, I’d back off.”

 

She let an inelegant snort, “Goodbye, Mother.”

 

* * *

 

K’tar clacked his mandibles in annoyance, “So, you brought them back?” He turned his large orbs back on Lazun, “And, you managed to hitch a ride back with them under what guise, exactly?”

 

“I told them I missed my brood,” Lazun refused to look the male Insectoid in the eyes, “But you have to know, Carus is in the Change. I also suspect Bash may also be in the very early stages. It’s harder to get a good read on him, and it is more sporadic.”

 

“It doesn’t matter. Z’kip has agreed to move up the timeline.”

 

Lazun turned to walk away, “Then, this will be over soon.”

 

“You’ve done well, and I understand your hesitance, but you _will_ hold out a little longer for your broodmates.”

 

His shoulders tensed, and he stopped, “Of course. And, for the cause. For our future.”

 

* * *

 

Bash walked into his old office, and glanced up at the skylight. It felt good to be in familiar surroundings, and he smiled thinking of how Cressida had tried to work that particular feature into their shared space. If he closed his eyes, he could picture her lounged in the chair, again, and wondered how long it would be before he could see her again after all of this was said and done.

 

There was much work that needed to be done to ensure that his people would survive the coming fight, and that they would still be able to find the cure for whatever it was that the other clans had done to them.

 

“Bash,” Cressida spoke softly from behind him, “I’ve talked with the Chairman Viceroy, and we should hear back from the Committee by noon tomorrow.” He had looked so sad staring up into the skylight. She had been startled again, by the vision of him surrounded in a golden halo. But, she knew that this was drawing to the end of the line. Whatever else they accomplished here, he would need to be with this people and re-establish what was left of their society and rebuild their family units.

 

He nodded, absently, “That’s good. We will have to make sure that we at least have their support,” he scowled. He could smell her again, and it made his gut clench painfully. His reactions were becoming stronger and strong and he wondered how long it would be before he would succumb to either his desire or to the side effects of his suppressants.

 

“Bash?”

 

He whirled around and came face-to-face with her questioning look, “Did – did I miss something?” He furrowed his brow, and tried to keep his arms and hands relaxed at his sides instead of reaching out to haul her closer. Press her body close to his. Breathe her in.

 

Cressida’s brow furrowed, “No, you just look like something is troubling you. Are you alright?” Her fingers itch to reach out and smooth the wrinkles from his brow. But, he’d made it quite clear they were _friends_ and nothing more. That touch would be too familiar, or it would open the door to do more familiar things.

 

“I’m just worried, Cress,” he looked away from her as he told the lie. It hurt too much to look at her knowing the scope of things they would have to undertake. “The way things have changed have me worried. The future is more uncertain, and it’s become frighteningly clear that our fight has become more difficult than I could ever imagine.”

 

“Well, you aren’t alone, Bash." She reached her hand out and placed it on his bicep, head down, unable to trust that she would keep her distance if she looked at him.

 

His voice was thick with emotion when he responded, “Thank you, Cressida. You have no idea how much your friendship means to me.” He took a deep breath, trying to brand this memory into his mind. She always found a way to pull him out of his despair, and fight to move forward. _I will set all this to rights, then I will come for you, Cress._

 

His hand came up to cup the back of her head, but in a split second, grabbed her and used his own body as a shield as the skylight and ceiling caved in on them. The compound was rocked by several small explosions, and one large, earth shaking explosion, then all fell silent.

 

“What the hell was that?!” Cressida stood, throwing Bash’s arm off her, and ran to the door to look in the direction of the blasts. People - injured, screaming, and disoriented - were everywhere. Smoke, fire, debris littered the courtyard. Several buildings had been leveled, and several more were on fire. “Did that last one come from the loading docks?” she felt the blood drain from her face.

 

Carus came running around the corner, “Tell me Lanie is with you!” He pushed past her to enter the room, “The labs, storage areas, and the – the loading bays have all been destroyed, Bash.” His green eyes were wild with worry, his muscles tense. “We have no idea what the numbers are, but a significant number of our people were in those areas, helping to mobilize.”

 

Bash slowly raised himself to his feet, dazed and cradling the arm that had been around Cressida, “How many is a significant number, Carus?” he felt as if he were moving underwater, and struggled to remain upright.

 

“Hundreds, Bash. It’s hard to say exactly. We will have to log survivors and injured,” his face paled as he turned and took in the head wound that seeped blood and the large, gash in his milk-brother’s shoulder that stained the tunic Bash had chosen to wear that day.

 

He strained against the pain, and grit his teeth, “You need to go and make sure that Lanie, the other members of the Human team and crew are all accounted for. Mobilize whomever you can to organize and begin triage. Understood?” The grim set of his mouth wiped the hesitation from Carus’s frame as he nodded and ran out of the room.

 

“Bash?” Cressida had approached him slowly from the side, cautious and ready to catch him should he collapse, “I need you to sit down so that I can tend to these wounds for you.” The medkit was already in her hands and opened. “Do you think that you can do that for me?” she nearly choked on those words, her worry for him threatening to boil over in an embarrassing display.

 

He grunted as he let himself drop down onto the nearest chair-like surface, “You need not panic, Cress. You and Carus both.” his words slurred a little with the strain and blood loss he was experiencing. But, sitting felt much better than attempting to stand. “I’ll be fine once you patch me up and give me a dose of adrenaline.”

 

“You’re shitting yourself if you think I’m going to shoot you up with adrenaline, Bash.” She tried to give him a smile, but it came out bitter and panicked instead. “I’m supposed to be patching you up here, not driving your system into overdrive.” Her hands shook as he injected a dose of pain killer into his upper bicep.

 

“I know that, but that pain killer you just injected me with will make me become drowsy until I fall asleep, and I need to be awake and alert, Cress. I have to keep it together enough to make sure my people are settled and cared for,” his words slowed more as she hurried to run the regenerator over his scalp wound, and went to peel back the sleeve on his injured arm. “You need to give me a half-dose, Cress...”

 

She hesitated and bit her lower lip, he was definitely beginning to show signs of losing consciousness, “You promise? Promise me you will rest, Bash.” She had never heard her voice so small, and gently checked to make sure the gaping wound was free of debris.

 

His good arm wrapped around her waist as he bent his head to touch at her side, “I swear to you I will rest. But, there is something horribly wrong here, and I need to have my senses about me...” he took a shuddering breath as her woody scent drifted from the skin at her side. He let it brace him for the task at hand, “...I swear it.”

 

Cressida clutched the injector in her fist, and tried to slow her pulse and stifle the tears that threatened to overflow, “Ok. I can do that. Half dose now. Another half if you need it, but no more.” She fought the urge to pull him closer and sob into the top of his head.

 

“Thank you.” His words were muffled, but she heard them clear enough, and injected him. She passed the regenerator over the gaping wound in his bicep, grateful for steady hands, and tried to focus on the task at hand. “When you are done here, and have had a moment, Cress, I will need you out there to patch up whoever needs it, and group everyone together in case we need to make a hasty departure.”

 

She was shocked at the quick, decisive manner he displayed within moments of the adrenaline buoying his system, “Why a hasty departure?”

 

“What Carus and I did not share is that we had foolishly called the rest of our people here to the compound in the hopes that we would be able to inform them of the situation in small groups. Carus and I had already anticipated the need for secrecy and quick action should our requests be met with denial and a larger show of force than we could hope to counter.” His furrowed brown and scowl were firmly in place, “Someone knew we were coming home, and I suspect we have been targeted again to discourage any insistence that we be helped.”

 

The grating, metal on metal scratching noise of Insectoid laughter bubbled in from the doorway, “How right you are, Bash.” Z’kip hobbled into the room. “I told K’tar that you were the more reasonable of the Elders.”

 

“Z’kip? What is the meaning of this?” Bash slowly stood and subtly placed himself between Cressida and the wizened, old Insectoid. He was a cunning, calculated aggressor in any situation, and his presence so soon after the bombings did not sit well with Bash.

 

Rapid-fire clacking of mandibles accompanied more scratching as two, giant head and eyes were turned in Bash’s direction, but the beady, dark pupils were fixed on Cressida’s face. “You know what this means. Do not sit there pretending that you are shocked that this has happened.” His eyes rolled to take in Bash’s full condition, “I _told_ you all those years ago, that there would come a time that we would not be so beholden to mammalian sensibilities and inflexibility.” He strode closer to Bash, and reached out one long arm to his injured shoulder, “And, you know we do not tolerate weakness as well as you warm-blooded stoics. We gave you plenty of opportunity to consider alternatives, work with us, and reform the relationship that my Clan and the Amphibious Clans needed. You showed such promise as a youth, and we were _certain_ you would understand that the Council of Elders need to be replaced with a new, more representative government. But, no. You and the rebellious youths of your generation somehow saw fit to fall back on those antiquated traditions, and hold the rest of us under your long-lived thumbs.” He pushed back on Bash’s injured shoulder, and pulled himself upright, “No more.”

 

“So, you killed us off.” It was not a question, it was a statement of fact. And a cold, terrible dread began to seep into Bash’s bones. Once fuzzy pieces of a nondescript puzzle suddenly came into focus and fell into place, one by one.

 

“Not all of you. Just the ones that would prove difficult to sway to our cause.”

 

Cressida pushed forward, in a rage, “You committed GENOCIDE. How do you have no remorse?” her fists clenched at her sides, and she glared at the Insectoid for his casual dismissal of his crimes, “Why was this to be the _only_ recourse?”

 

Z’Kip’s pupils never left Bash’s face, “Did you know that Bash’s people developed the technology to manipulate the weather to keep our planet colder?” He chuckled again, making Cress grit her teeth, “They would use their chemicals and their machines to force longer cold seasons, bring temperatures down on larger portions of our planet, essentially killing hundreds of thousands of developing and unhatched Insectoids and Amphibians?” The pupils of his eyes swung back over to pin her with a glare, “They deemed the lives of those young dispensable because we were ‘prolific’ breeders. So, we turned their own technology against them.”

 

“And, to ensure they would never be able to turn the tides and slay our unborn, we engineered and released a virus,” he shrugged his pointy, chitinous shoulders, “Or rather, our grandfathers began creating and formulating the virus. Our fathers found it fit to release it in conjunction with the staged malfunction of their weather machines, and Bash’s generation was just too immature and foolish to connect the dots.”

 

Bash’s shoulders slumped in defeat as his face turned an ashen grey, “You said we were friends and brothers...”

 

“How else were we to keep you complacent and prevent an uprising? Your kind had already shown no compunction to murdering innocent young, and we did what we had to do to prevent more lives lost.”

 

“And what of the lives of our young?”

 

“Tit for tat, I would say.”

 

A righteous, indignant rage bubbled up from Bash’s gut as he strode forward to place his hand, unassumingly, on Z’kip’s bony shoulder, “Do you remember what I said to you after the children died?” Z’kip’s head tipped to one side, and his dark pupils began jumping between Bash and Cressida. “I swore to you I would find out what had caused their deaths, did I not?” His voice was low, calm, and entirely too collected.

 

Z’kip rubbed and clacked his mandibles together in annoyance, “You cannot burn the whole world down in your anger, Bash.” His antennae waved about in nervousness, and he struggled to step back out of the strong grip of the irate male before him, “We have already decimated your numbers enough that you cannot fight back. You can only _LEAVE_.” The glint in his eyes were almost triumphant.

 

Bash nodded, “So, you came to me today because you are ready?”

 

A clattering noise accompanied the rush of air from Z’kip’s abdomen, “Of course. I am not foolish enough to come here knowing the horrors your kind are capable of, and _confess_ war crimes, and expect that there will be no consequences.” His pupils focused in on Bash’s face once again, antennae still waving about nervously, “But I am the last of the generation that had a hand in this. I accept the consequences for my treason, and I have ensured that you cannot punish my children, or the children who have had no part in this.”

 

“What do you mean, old friend?”

 

“The last of the virus that killed your elders and children had been modified, and is written into the DNA of this planet. The flora. The fauna. The water. The air. It breeds. And, so long as you choose to stay, you will all die until there is none of you left. This is my last action as traitor to the Elders and as savior of Insectoid and Amphibian kind.”

 

Before Cressida had the sense to move from her shock, Bash nodded his head, and his hand reached up and snapped the frail, old neck of the wizened Insectoid. The sickening crunch, and subsequent gurgling of green fluid over Bash’s hand had her bent over and retching on the floor.

 

“Why?” she finally found the strength to ask, afraid of what he would say, and afraid of how she would condone it.

 

“Because,” he stared blankly off into the distance, “he knew I would not be able to move on. For as aggressive and as callous as Z’Kip may have seemed, he gave me this closure.” He took a deep and rattling breath, “Moreover, he was right. My people were guilty of heinous crimes against sentient beings, and they all paraded on and continued on as if it were all and easy, common thing to do. It is partly why we protested so hard against tradition. But, in the end, we were no better,” his shoulders tensed, “and I don’t expect you to understand or accept it, Cressida. You and your people have done more for us than you will know, whether we deserve it or no.”

 

“What will you do now?”

 

“I suspect that Z’kip has already made provisions, whether we want to trust their integrity or no. And, I will gather the rest of our people, and we will leave. K’tar will not be pleased that his father has been killed at my hands, but I suppose that is an ironic sort of poetic justice.”

 

Carus’s frame suddenly filled the doorway, “I see you have heard, then.” His mouth was drawn into a tight line, “According to K’tar and Lazun, we have less than 12 hours before we all start falling ill. By the time we leave the system, the carbon dioxide scrubbers will begin the process of detoxing our systems. And, once we have been shipbound for 48 hours, we will all be free of this version of the virus. In two months, we should see the return of heats and ruts so long as there are compatible pairs.”

 

“Then, I suppose we get our people and our provisions and get out of here in 6 hours,” Bash’s voice was low and thick with sorrow, “Cressida, we will not be needing the assistance of the Interstellar Science Commission, I don’t think. Please thank them for what assistance they have been able to offer us, and let them know that we will be in touch to finalize the terms for compensation for you and your team.” And, with that, he abruptly left the room.

 

Carus turned to her revealing a cheek reddened by what looked suspiciously like a hand print, “Give him time, Cress. He needs a moment to mourn, and he will need you more than ever,” his green eyes were red-rimmed from crying and dried, dirt crusted tear-tracks were on his face, “Promise me you won’t turn him away?”

 

“Why would he turn to me? You heard him, Carus. He’s done with me and my kind. He won’t need me anymore.”

 

There was no other way for him to try and convey the depths of Bash’s dependence and _love_ for Cressida without wholly divulging his brother’s secret. He only hoped that she could glean the deeper meaning behind his next words, “He has never had a relationship with a female without bedding her and getting what physical pleasure he can out of her,” he turned to meet her eyes, “ _YOU,_ he holds higher than those conquests, and in higher regard that you realized, Cressida. When he does finally turn to you, you have to promise to not turn him away.”

 

Cress stifled the gasp of pain as the icy blow of his words stabbed her through her heart, “I won’t turn him away, Rus. But only because you asked it of me.”

 

“You are a true friend, Cressida.” He turned to walk from the room, and hesitated, “Will you also speak with Lanie and maybe soften her towards me, too? Help her to forget the hurt I have caused her?”

 

“What did you do?”

 

“I left her.”

 

“You and Bash are idiots.”

 

“Yes, and I hope that when our paths cross again, we both are allowed to make amends.” And with that, he slipped out the door and out of her line of sight.

 

What had he meant by that?

 

* * *

 

Lanie stood upwind from the fires, and absently directed groups of survivors together based on their injuries and species. Her temple was bruised, her hands cut and bleeding, but she was whole and _alive_. The sudden urge to see Carus, to breathe him in had been almost all-consuming, but she managed to keep her head and take stock of the situation. Until, his scent has drifted down from behind her, “What do you want?”

 

“I wanted to make sure you’re alright, Lanie. Please don’t turn this into an argument.”

 

“Are you _fucking kidding_ me?!” she whirled around to pin him with icy blue eyes, “You _left_ , Carus. You walked out with no remorse, and you have the nerve to fear an _argument_?” She gave him a once over, “I thought you were much smarter than that, but now I can see that you’re just as boneheaded and idiotic as the rest of the _knotheads_ out there.”

 

He jerked back as if struck, “Where did you learn that?”

 

“Pffffft. There are harder insults out there to figure out.” She flicked a tangled mass of platinum hair over her shoulder, “Now, if you don’t mind, I’ve tasked myself with helping the _needy_ and _injured_ , so I need to you shove off.”

 

Knowing this would be the last time he would see her, he took a long look at her, drinking in every detail. Whatever binding had been on her hair, it looked to have been lost in the rubble. Her hair was a mass of tangled curls, dirt, debris, and framed her heart-shaped face in a billowy riot. Bruising had started around her temples, and he wondered if she had been thrown into something, or if something had struck her in the commotion of the bombings. Her eyes glittered with rage, and what he hoped was the still simmering passion. If that remained there, he had a chance to win her back. Her shoulders were tensed and thrown back in a defiant, defensive stance with her arms crossed over her chest. It puzzled him that she tried to hide the cuts on her hands as if he couldn’t smell them, but it soon dawned on him that she was protecting herself from _him_. His gaze traveled further south, and he noticed the slight favoring of her right leg, “You should go and have that knee tended to before it becomes more problematic.” Her mouth set in a thin line at his comment.

 

“You need not worry about me, Carus. Go. Go and tend to your milk-brother and your people. _They_ are your priority, now.” She wanted to hurl objects and insults at him for the calm, accepting posture in the wake of her rage. “And, do us both a favor and stop pretending that I was anything to you but a cheap, quick _fuck_.”

 

His gaze dropped to the ground at her feet, the ground he currently envied, “You are right. They _are_ my priority, but it is because I don’t know how it could be otherwise, Lanie.” He could feel giant tears well in his eyes, “And, I know that I have been unfair to myself, but that has made it so that I’ve been viciously cruel to you,” the breath shuddered out of him, “I don’t know how else to be, and I’m too cowardly to learn how to change. But, mostly, I’m terrified I am unworthy of you. There is nothing about you that is cheap, and the only thing quick about you is that agile mind of yours.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“I don’t know how long I will be, I don’t know where we will go - ”

 

“I said _SHUT UP_ , Carus!” Lanie’s hands clenched in fists.

 

“...but, I swear to you, until we get there, I will have no one else but you in my mind and heart,” the tears flowed freely and dripped from his chin, “I am sorry I am not a stronger, braver male.”

 

Lane stormed over and struck his face as hard as she could with her open palm, “Be _quiet!_ You don’t get to do this to me, dammit. You said I didn’t have to wait. You said you would _understand._ So, shut your mouth, Carus,” her lip wobbled, “Don’t make this harder than it has to be!”

 

He quickly reached out and grabbed the hand that had struck him to smooth out her fingers and place a kiss on her palm, “Then, let me say this: I choose them, Lanie. Change or no, I choose them.”

 

She snatched her hand from him and stormed away without another word, her grief and love for that self-sacrificing idiot threatening to swallow her whole. She resolved to never speak his name, or answer any calls or messages that came. Her tears blinded her as she struggled to put as much distance between herself and Carus as possible. She had to harden her heart, or she would die a fool – hoping that he would return to her. She had to hate him if she were to survive this. And she had to survive – she had to live. For them both.

 

Carus watched as her slight frame shrank towards the horizon and turned a corner to disappear completely. He had been on his way to find Bash and give him the intel that he had discovered, but had been sidetracked by his first sighting of his platinum haired siren as she helped those around her who were still disoriented and lost. Like she had tried to direct him. But, in the end, he was an even bigger fool that he anticipated. He just couldn’t stop hurting her, no matter how much he tried. He took a deep, mournful breath, and turned to return to Bash’s office to tell him of the extent of the Insectoid and Amphibian uprising. The blows just kept on coming.

 

* * *

 

K’tar stood before Bash and Carus, antennae drooping, “My father always held you two in the highest regard, and held out hope that we could all come to a consensus,” his beady orbs focused on first Bash then Carus’s grim expressions, “I had no idea that he had been working to alter the virus.”

 

“But he did, and we leave the only home we have known.” Bash looked off into the distance, trying to commit to memory the mountainside and landscape of his childhood, “So, his sacrifice was not for naught. Leave it, K’tar. We wish to be off. Any show of force, any further deception, any further retribution, any further attempts at communication will be seen as an act of war. And, while our numbers are few, now, we _will_ be back to right those wrongs. Trust in that.”

 

“Very well.” K’tar nodded his head, “You were well within your rights, _Uncle_.” He turned and took long, striding steps away from the Mammalian Clan and went to double-check the numbers. There were more than enough standard minutes where he was sure that he could fit some more provisions, _safe_ flora and fauna samples, as well as medical supplies aboard. The blast had taken out more of Bash’s people than his father had initially calculated – proving that the old Insectoid had been falling into mental fatigue and fog in his old age. With the weight, carbon exchange, and space limits changed, K’tar was determined to leave the Mammals with the best chances they had for survival. His bravado had been greatly tampered in the aftermath of the destructive resolution of his Clan’s fight for survival. It bore down on him with a weight he had not felt since his father had first revealed the extent of the treason that their people and the Amphibious Clans had embarked on over the generations. Yes, they were free, but the cost was prohibitive.

 

He would ensure the Amphibious Clans would be returned to their pacifist ways. Perhaps their worldview and attitudes were not so foolish and passive after all. He would ensure that his children, and their descendants would understand the gravity of these decisions and the actions taken this day. All that came from aggression was more conflict. And, he would be sure none of them would ever pay that price again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was pretty rough, right? Expect to see some of this in flashbacks. In other words, this is your PTSD trigger warning for future chapters. It gets bumpier from here, but I SWEAR there will be some happy endings. We just have to make them work for it, eh?
> 
> Again, comments, Kudos, bookmarks are greatly appreciated. I get so invested in these characters, and it is reassuring and encouraging to see that y'all are all with me on this ride. <3 Thanks a billion. <3


	8. Drifting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some more lines are drawn in the sand, and a collaborative effort begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! I finished the chapter without ending up bad! There's a smidge of smut, more like a hint, and we are back to a bit of angst, but it's more fluffy angst. ;)

 

_He could hear her breathy sigh, and felt a whisper of it against his neck and shoulder as she struggled to catch her breath. Her skin was searing hot and slick with dewy perspiration as he pulled her down onto his lap and thrust up into her, grinding his pubic bone against the over-sensitized nub of her clit. She gripped his shoulders, digging her nails in to his flesh. It was all the leverage she had to keep herself riding and grinding against him. He could feel a growl rumble past his lips as he watched her throw her head back on a gasp, straightening her spine and tensing up as the start of her climax shot through from toes and unfurled through her like fire. He leaned forward to mouth between her breasts, back and forth between her pebbled nipples, and made his way up her exposed throat, scenting her, searching for that tender spot that would send her tumbling over the edge when he sank his teeth in to mark her. Her breathing hitched, her movements faltered, and he felt her clench with a rush of moisture as a low, throaty moan broke from her, “Ah, deeper,” she sighed. He could feel the burning start at the base of his cock, and gave into the desire to thrust farther, pull her down harder, and felt the growing knot begin to catch -_

 

Bash sat upright in his bed, sweat beading down his chest, hand fisted around his hardened length. “Dammit.” This was the third time since they left in as many days from their home – exiled and drifting through the Expanse – that he woke grasping and yearning for a climax he could not obtain. He tried to ignore the throbbing insistence in his groin, and cursed himself for waking like an adolescent, reacting to inaccurate fabrications of coupling with her.

 

 _Cressida_.

 

He was tempted to indulge himself in a bit of fantasy and finish what his wayward body had started – suppressants be damned. Nothing seemed to keep him from waking in this state. He’d only been away from her for a few days, and already he felt like he was coming out of his skin. And, the dreams were becoming more intense. He’d had enough partners in his more rebellious days, so he knew that waking like this was not completely unusual. But, the ache in his chest was something else entirely. He decided on a cold, sonic shower rather than pointless indulging of his _stupid_ baser instincts. He sat up, and leaned his elbows on his knees, when his heads-up display chimed at him.

 

He reached across to his night stand, and pressed the button for audio, “Yes?”

 

“There’s an incoming message from the Interstellar Science Committee, Bash. The Chairman Viceroy would like a word with you.” Carus’s tone held an undercurrent of stress and worry, but that was no different than usual.

 

“Patch it through, Rus. And, go get yourself some rest. You sound more haggard than usual,” he responded while pulling on a tunic long enough to cover his lap and brushed his hair back from his face.

 

His statement was met with an annoyed grunt, and the display lit up. He nearly recoiled in shock. He knew those eyes, spent hours trying to avoid staring at that all too familiar jawline, and felt a puff of air pass his lips in amazement, “Chairman Viceroy? To what do I owe this honor?” he couldn’t keep the roughness from his voice and hoped that it would pass for exhaustion.

 

“Ah, Bash. I have heard so much about you,” a quirk of her mouth and twinkle in her eyes – so familiar and yet so foreign – took in every detail about his reaction. “It seems that we are in a unique position to be able to assist you and your people in your endeavor to find a new place to settle. And, I will admit that I am increasingly curious as to the nature of your people’s recovery from recent developments.” Her voice was as rich, but still lacked the genuine warmth that Cressida often displayed.

 

He felt his muscles tense, and tried to keep his face and tone neutral, “While I appreciate the implication, we can only accept that which we are able to pay for – be it through credits or labor. We are not in the habit of accepting charity when there are enough strong backs, deftly skilled hands, and able minds to work and contribute to whatever endeavor is undertaken.”

 

Her brow furrowed. Good. “We would not want to tax what few resources you have at your disposal, and desire the opportunity to help...with a few caveats and appropriate compensation,” she began smoothly, “Your situation has presented us with a unique opportunity to study the long-term effects of -”

 

“Does Cressida know that you are asking this of us?” he couldn’t stop the bubbling of rage, or the words from leaving him.

 

“The good _Doctor_ is on another assignment, with more _suitable_ persons to aide her in her endeavors,” that familiar smirk was back, “I daresay she is also developing some more intimate connections that may yield some significant changes to her life and career.” There was no mistaking the implication of her words, and the purpose for this call.

 

Bash let his laziest, most charming smile to slowly form on his lips, “Your concern and offer has been noted, and the latter will be taken into consideration, Chairman Viceroy.” He smirked and glanced up at her through is dark lashes, “We will be sure to be in touch with you once we have been able to settle into some semblance of routine. As it stands, we are still dealing with the aftermath of injury, losses, and grief.”

 

She gave him that eerily familiar, megawatt smile in return, “Understood. While we acknowledge and accept your current sentiment, I caution you to not wait for too long. There is a definite expiration for this offer, despite your current, dire circumstances.”

 

“Thank you, I am quite aware,” he reached over to close the call when she coughed to catch his attention, “Viceroy?”

 

Her smile had turned a little brittle around the edges, “It would be in the best interest of everyone if you kept to whatever precedent it is that you are setting. Backtracking and returning after years afloat in the Expanse can prove to be more disturbing and -” her mouth pinched into a fine line, “ - inconvenient in terms of the multitude of steps it would take to re-acclimate to your people’s presence and influence over our collective _resources_.”

 

He raised an eyebrow. _Is that how this is to be?_ “I appreciate your candor, Viceroy, and would like to take this moment to return the favor,” he took a moment to compose his expression and roll his next words around in his mind before voicing them. “The true extent of your understanding is still a little unclear to me, so I will take a moment to clarify for you the _sensitive_ and _precarious_ position your previous statement places any diplomatic relations with my people.” He looked somewhere off in the distance, keeping his gaze bored and purposely withholding any semblance of eye contact from the woman who was now shifting uncomfortably onscreen. “My father, his father before him, and his father before him were all educated, cultured males. They all lived well into their third century. They were all feared for their swift, callous, and brutal convictions. _You_ are fortunate to have never met them.” He pursed his lips in a show of deep, pensive thought, “When I think of the punishments I had to endure for my less traditional transgressions, I often wonder at how I managed to survive such brutality, and with a sad sort of clarity that I realize it is because I was their _blood_.” It was this moment that he chose to give the Chairman Viceroy a direct look, “The Insectoids and Amphibians were not given that leeway, and the situation that we survivors endure is a direct result of the Uprising needed to overthrow the strict, unyielding brutality that they were subject to for multiple generations.”

 

The Viceroy’s expression was one of boredom and annoyance, “And _what_ does that have to do with us now?” she couldn’t keep the bite from her words.

 

“I have taken great strides to become something more than what my forefathers have desperately attempted to shape and instill in me. I _chose_ freedom. I chose _equality_ among species. I chose to rise above the behavior of violent, territorial, pack animals.” He enjoyed watching her squirm with impatience and poorly masked irritation. “But, as this past week has taught me, that sort of savagery is not too far from the surface. And, _it would be in the best interest of everyone_ if the precedent set was not one of impatience, coercion, and thinly veiled threats.” He took a certain amount of pleasure in turning her words against her, “We will do what we must, as a _reasonable_ society and peoples, to re-establish ourselves and ensure that we are beholden to no entity.”

 

She flashed him a smile that was a sad, empty mockery of the one that taunted him in his dreams, “Very well, Bash. You have made yourself more than clear enough. I am relieved to know that there will be no surprises that will arise from all of this.”

 

“Of course not. We will keep all the _necessary_ governing bodies and individuals well appraised of the situation.” He returned her smile with one of his own, “Thank you for extending your well wishes to our people and offering your assistance.”

 

She nodded stiffly, and the screen went black.

 

How in the world had such a warm, generous, genuine person come from that nightmare? He would never know. She was all superficial generosity and concern. He mulled over her implication that Cressida was seeking romantic entanglements elsewhere, and felt his gut clench tightly. He needed to get things settled and organized soon. The desire for something stable to present to his _mate_ was almost overwhelming, and he struggled to breathe as he worked through the flare up of pheromones and emotions Cressida’s own mother had managed to stir up in him.

 

He reached a hand into the drawer of the nightstand and pulled out another two doses of suppressants to inject. He needed his head clear, and so long as his damned hormones and pheromones were stifled, he would be able to trudge through the ceaseless, mundane, and nigh hopeless tasks that lay before him. And he would survive this, even if it meant that he would have to drug himself up and fight.

 

* * *

 

Carus felt his hackles rise at the ruckus coming from the common area to his left, and strode in with his electric baton held at the ready, “Gentlemen.” His gaze fell on the two males facing each other in aggressive stance, “What exactly is going on here?” He could see the one on the right was slightly more relaxed than the other, “Are you stirring up trouble, Drenu?”

 

The young male smirked, “Garon here seems to think that Alena is _his_ female, but I see no such claim on her,” his voice was all that was affable, but there was an undercurrent of steel behind them.

 

“Drenu has taken his male-whoring too far, Carus. I TOLD him that I am certain that Alena and I are a _pair_ , and yet he still pursues her. I’ve been giving her space to mourn the family she has lost, and this _lecherous knothead_ has been trying to work himself into her _graces_ ,” Garon’s jaw was tensed, and his nostrils were flaring wildly, scenting something.

 

Carus tapped his baton lightly on his leg to draw their attention away from each other, and took a look around the room. The female they were arguing over sat in a far corner, outrage and grief plastered on her face, “Did either of you gentlemen bother to ask the female in question what it is that she desires?” His words had the intended effect, and she turned her gaze on Carus, “Well, Alena, what say you?”

 

She straightened her spine, and rose to her full height to walk over to the two posturing males. Her stricken look had been replaced with something akin to righteous anger, and she swiftly slapped Drenu across the cheek with a resounding crack, and proceeded to kick Garon squarely in his shin. “They’re both foolish _knotheads_!” Her hands clenched in fists at her side, “And Drenu knows that I have _zero_ interest in a foolish male who thinks he can drown his sorrows in the nearest, vulnerable female.” Her angry gaze swung over to Garon, “And, _you_ should know better.”

 

Drenu shrugged his shoulders and strode from the room, undoubtedly stalking after the next female on his list of easily bedded Betas.

 

Garon, however, had the sense to look chastened and remorseful, “I – I _told_ you, Alena, I am _trying_.” His voice was a low growl.

 

“You’ve been trying the wrong thing, you idiot.” Alena’s words were bitten off and spat at him like tough, tasteless leather. “I don’t need _space_.”

 

“What?” Garon’s head snapped up, and his nostrils flared as he took in another deep, deep breath. “You said you needed -”

 

Alena rolled her eyed, “And, I’ve changed my mind. Which, last time I checked, I am allowed to do.” She and Garon both swallowed audibly, “I have lost too much in my short years, Garon. I’d be a fool to wait any longer.” Her expression softened to one of grief, “And, I’m not sure I can do this myself -” her words were cut off as Garon stepped forward and wrapped his arms tightly around her.

 

Carus stiffly turned, and walked out of the room. He strolled back down the hallway in the direction that he came, and mentally prepared the request he would put in to have Garon and Alena moved to a larger set of quarters meant for mated individuals. His stomach churned in grief and jealousy. And, he tensed, fighting to keep his mind off sapphire blue eyes, a heart shaped face, and flowing, platinum hair.

 

* * *

 

Lanie stretched one long leg to poke at Cressida’s side with her big toe, “Are you still awake?” She poked again, “Ugh, don’t tell me you fell asleep _again_.” She had been trying for months to keep Cress from shutting down the instant any sort of work was done. It really wasn’t her fault, but Lanie hesitated to confide her suspicions to her friend.

 

“Quit it, you brat. I’m not asleep, just thinking.” She murmured, “You also said you would pick a movie, but you haven’t done that yet, have you?” She didn’t really care if they watched anything, but she knew that Lanie had spent the past few weeks trying to keep her distracted.

 

Lanie groaned, and threw herself back on the armrest of the couch, “Yeah, I can’t decide what to watch. Maybe I should go get us some beers and something to eat instead,” she sighed dramatically.

 

“No, Lane. I’m not really hungry right now,” Cress’s voice was lifeless and flat.

 

“Sooooooo,” Lanie decided to jump in head first, and get the inevitable verbal lashing done and out of the way, “Are you running low-grade fevers, hot and cold flashes, waffle between being ravenous and having no appetite at all, cruddy sleep, irritation with all members of the opposite sex...um...” she furrowed her brown and puckered her lips in thought, “...headaches, abdominal cramps, flu-like symptoms that last anywhere from a few minutes to hours, and overall fatigue?” she could feel the ache begin in her bones again. Honestly, she wasn’t sure if it helped knowing what it was that caused the symptoms, or if those who were unsuspecting were better off.

 

Cressida’s dull gaze sharpened as she took in Lanie’s face as all of her symptoms were described in accurate detail, “How the hell do you now that, Lane?” Her mental fog had yet to clear, but she felt herself grow more alert with every passing moment. Hopefully, this would be one of the times that it lasted longer than a few hours.

 

“Meh,” Lanie wrinkled her nose, “There are a few members of our overall crew who are all feeling the same symptoms. And, severity varies from person to person, but all the symptoms are the same.”

 

“So, you’ve been tracking symptoms? What am I missing here, Lane?” Cress furrowed her brow and fought against the fatigue she felt wrapping in around her again. _Why can’t I think straight?_ She tried to sit upright and look her friend in the face, “Why haven’t you said anything before this? How long have you been keeping an eye out?” She noted the worried pucker to Lanie’s lips. “Lane.”

 

She sighed, and threw her feet over the edge of the couch, and sat upright, “I started to notice widespread symptoms about a fortnight after we left Bash’s planet,” her mouth puckered as if she had tasted something bitter, “and, it became clear that only a few crew members who are experiencing any symptoms at all.”

 

“You’re being too vague,” Cress was staring to feel irritated and antsy. “What is it that you are not saying?”

 

“I think we need to gather everyone who is having significant symptoms and run some tests. I think there are a few who are or _were_ predisposed to being affected by the same virus that the Insectoids developed to wipe out the Mammalian Clans.” Lanie clenched her fists, if Cress really was as clueless as she seemed about the Change, then she would have to tread lightly. There was nothing more fearsome than a raven-haired, chocolate-eyed she-devil bent on exacting righteous destruction. _Okokokok, maybe not destruction, but I’ve fucked up enough this go. She doesn’t really WANT to know._ Lanie tried to justify it to herself, and sighed.

 

Cressida narrowed her eyes and gave her a sideways glance, “I’m the one that is supposed to be the Genetic and Viral specialist, and here you are out-thinking me again. Have I really just gotten this rusty?” She reached over and poked Lanie in the ribs, startling the sprightly woman out of deep thought. She’d been doing that, and Cress had noticed that her friend had refused to even mention the name of her paramour in the weeks and months since they’d left his homeworld. She was definitely nursing a broken heart.

 

“No, Cress. I just think you’ve been preoccupied, much like the rest of us have been,” she gave her friend a saucy wink, “I mean your _mother_ has been in rare form.”

 

Cress groaned and sank down into the couch and tried to smother herself with a pillow. Her mother had been relentless and combative every time Cressida had attempted to gently put down all the men sent her way. She just wasn’t interested. “Please, no. Anything _but_ that.”

 

Lanie cackled, “Where in the world does she find those guys?!” she dissolved into a fit of laughter.

 

Cressida uncovered her head and began laughing in earnest with her friend, “I don’t know, Lane. I think she’s been looking for husband number 8, to be honest. These are all the ones that she feels are too young for her!” She let out a whoop of laughter and threw a pillow at her friend, “Maybe I should send a few your way seeing as you’ve all but forgotte -”

 

“Don’t even fucking say it, Cress.” Lanie’s laughter had vaporized in an instant, replaced with a panicked, angry look on her face. “Just. Don’t.”

 

Cress raised her hands in a placating manner, “Ok. I won’t say it. I won’t ask questions. I’ll leave it. You know I will, Lane.” The last time she had seen Lanie this angry, a colleague had ended up repeatedly assigned to the outermost planets, in the most inhospitable settlements, for three solid years. “I know better than to get on _that_ side of you,” she sighed.

 

Lanie’s undoubtedly sharp retort was cut short by the sound of Cressida’s heads-up display chirping at her. Figuring it was her mother, as it was late in the day where they were, Cress answered it, “No, mother. I will _not_ go on another one of your ridiculous blind dates.” She rolled her eyes and gave Lanie a disgusted look.

 

Lanie’s face blanched, and she froze, covertly pointing a finger at the vidscreen. Cress slowly turned her head back to the heads-up display, brow furrowed, and chewing on her lower lip.

 

“I had no idea you had company. Perhaps I should have sent you a short message first,” Bash’s voice was gravelly, and low and his brow raised in a haughty, defensive motion.

 

Immediately her hands shot up to cover her face as her cheeks burned, “Nonononono, I swear it isn’t what you think,” her shoulders began shaking with vigor, and she could feel herself lose what little control she had over her reaction.”

 

Lanie seized the opportunity to jump in-shot, “Hi, Bash!!!” she waggled her fingers at him, “We were having a girls’ night, but it looks like it’s drawing to a close! We’ll have to catch up later.” She smiled at him, and rose to gather her things and leave, “Cress, you stop that nonsense and talk to the poor male. You’ve _shocked_ him!” She giggled.

 

“Oh, get out you insufferable baggage!” Cressida’s laughter bubbled over her hands, “Just _go_! I’ll see you at work!” She took a moment to try and compose herself, but could barely stifle the giddy laughter that washed over her. “I swear, Bash, I thought you were my mother calling to harass me again!” Her eyes twinkled with joy, her cheeks flushed, and she gave him her megawatt smile, “I’m so glad it’s you.” Her smile faltered and her eyes widened, “I mean, I’m - um – I’m so glad to hear from you!” She covered one burning cheek and tried to look up at the vidscreen.

 

Bash felt as if the air had been knocked from his lungs. It had been months, and he was certain that he’d remembered every detail about her smile, and yet here he sat stunned into silence and in awe of her. He could feel his body tighten in response, his gut burn and tingle in response to her happy reaction to him, “Cress.” He felt a slow, lazy smile cross his face, and felt as if a weight were lifted off his shoulders.

 

“It really is good to see you, Bash, it has been entirely too long,” her smile softened a bit, and her eyes twinkled back at him.

 

He cleared his throat in an attempt to gather his wits about him, “If this is the happy reception I get from being absent this long, I may make it habit to go absent and reappear more often,” he felt himself wink at her, and caught the way her cheeks became rosier. “I see that you are doing well.” _Lies_. He could see that she had lost some of her plumpness, and her eyes wore the look of someone who was suffering from Change Sickness. He was a complete idiot.

 

She gave her trademark, inelegant snort, “I know I look a sight, Bash. Truth be told, it seems that there are a number of our team and crew who have fallen ill to some mystery illness,” she furrowed her brow and canted her head to the side, “Lanie said that she noticed widespread symptoms about a fortnight out, and has deduced that the symptoms are intensifying.” Bash had tried to keep his expression neutral, but his mouth tightened enough that she caught his tell. “But, you knew that already, didn’t you?”

 

Bash sighed and wiped a large hand over his face, “Yes. Or rather, I suspected that it would be the case.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“There have been several successful pairings in the time since we separated. But, there are a few who are still agitated, and are showing signs of the Change, but are certain that their paired mates are not on board our ship,” he rubbed at his temple, “After going through and determining whether or not a potential mate perished in those last horrid moments on our old homeworld, we realized that there had to be another explanation. Usually, when a potential pairing goes wrong because of death, the remaining mate essentially remains a Beta for the rest of their lives. They essentially _stop_ their Change.” He sighed and wiped a hand down his face again, “But, when their symptoms continued to intensify, we came to suspect that it may be because their bonds started with Humans.”

 

Cressida stared blankly away from the vidscreen, and Bash felt himself smile fondly at her. That agile mind was formulating theories and hypotheses on how an inter-species bonding could happen. She quickly took in all the new data, and began processing it. “It’s possible that the Insectoid virus actually re-wrote more of your people’s genetic code than we first realized. We would have to run some tests on our respective ends and compare data to be certain.”

 

Bash’s hand reached out to touch something, and Cressida watched as a data transfer began through their connection, “Here is all the data we have on our original genetic information, the original virus, as well as the final, altered version that Z’kip released. We’ve already tested those in our Clan who have displayed characteristics of the change.”

 

“Alright, I will sort through this data as soon as possible, and start taking steps to obtain the resources we will need to make a rendezvous with your ship,” Cress pursed her lips in deep thought, “And we may have to work out some arrangements for supplies, provisions, and things if these potential mates are expected to stay with you and yours for the duration of your – um – current search.”

 

Bash cleared his throat at that moment, prompting Cressida to direct her gaze at him, “About those supplies and provisions, Cress,” his hand came up to rub the back of his neck, “We need to barter, buy, and trade for more provisions that I think you can provide. With so many of our people falling into ruts and heats, their caloric needs have managed to decimate what stores we had.”

 

“How many people, Bash?”

 

“We have somewhere around a thousand or so out of the population, and that isn’t counting those who have absent mates. So, we’re probably looking at a solid third to half of the population,” his scowl deepened, “It seems we did not anticipate the efficacy of the virus in preventing full maturation.” he let out a shuddering breath, “We’ve had some skirmishes and issues with territorial and protective behavior, and we have begun to consider placing our people into shifts of cryosleep to ensure that we have enough provisions to stretch a bit, and strategically remove some of the more troublesome members temporarily.”

 

Cressida stopped her thinking to really take a good look at Bash. His hair had grown longer, his facial hair was scruffier and less maintained that he’d ever let it go before, and there were large, dark circles under his eyes. The male before her was not the happy, vibrant male she had met over a year ago, nor was he the grim, damaged executioner she had last seen months before. No, both of those males had always had some sort of purpose driving them to be better, but this male before her seemed adrift and resigned. “Bash, have you not found any prospective planets in the time we haven’t seen each other?” Her voice was small and scared. Here was a male who succeeded at whatever he chose to undertake, and he was being smothered and defeated by circumstances and powers beyond his control.

 

“No, Cress, we have found nothing. Most of what we considered all had an ecology that would be too fragile, temperatures too warm, or fauna that would not survive the level of terraforming we would need to do. If we could find a moon that were large enough, or cool enough it would be one thing, but even that would require more terraforming than we can manage with what we have,” his shoulders slumped forward, “We had to barter a good deal of equipment and non-essential supplies for food and water. More than half the personnel that could be apprenticed out to work and bring back supplies are all in the final stages of the Change and bonding. The Insectoids and Amphibians may have been generous enough to provide DNA samples for everything we would need to terraform, they did not anticipate the losses in able bodied persons, I don’t think. And, as their species do not experience ruts and heats like we do, I’m sure their oversight of food and water was unintentional. K’tar is aggressive, but he has never been unfair.”

 

She quietly mulled over his words, and secretly began devising a plan. “Well, I’ll do what I can to search for those here who are exhibiting symptoms of the Change, and will be sure to send them to you with five times the anticipated amount of food, water, and provisions -”

 

“You’ll want to make that eight times as much, for the simple fact that most of these ruts and heats are lasting longer and burning hotter than we have seen before,” he could not stiffle the disappointment he felt when she admitted that she would be sending those pairs rather than accompanying them. He had been so sure that she would recognize that she was also suffering from Change sickness, but apparently she did not _feel_ anything out of the ordinary.

 

“Okay, we can do that. I’m sure that those who are potential pairs will not mind also using some of their own credits to help care for the people who will become family to them,” her heart stuttered a beat, as she wondered if Bash had a missing half himself. Would she be able to stand it and pretend that all was well? She would have to.

 

Bash, let out a deep, exhausted sigh, “Well, Cressida, I’m afraid that I must be off. We have to finalize those cryo-cycles and inform our Clansmen of the changes at hand,” His steel blue eyes took in her face again, “I has been a relief to be able to talk with you. Having you to confide in has been a luxury I have missed greatly, Cress. Thank you.”

 

“You know I will always be here for whatever it is you need, Bash,” she felt herself blush, “Always.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a hard time writing this chapter, to get some plot points in and shift the timeline back to where all the good stuff happens. Was it worth it? I hope so! 
> 
> And, once again, these kudos, bookmarks, subscriptions, and comments make my heart flutter, my wheel-house spin more efficiently, and makes my Muse talk dirty. I appreciate all your support! <3


	9. Crumbling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bash and his people are in for a surprise. Carus is in a bad way. The relationship between the milk-brothers is touched on a bit. Bash is an idiot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot of stuff happening here, and all I've got for you guys is some angsty-fluff. This chapter really does feel like a bit of a filler chapter - much like how a favorite television series may pack in some action, drama, and introduce some new characters. I felt drawn to one of our more minor characters who may have their own story to tell later on, so I went with it. What has started out as a single story sometimes branches out here and there, and I try to leave a few openings. Bear with me.

 

“Dammit! What do you mean you can’t _reach_ it to fix it?!” Carus’s overall patience had already worn thin, and he grit his teeth and struggled to not yell at the people scrambling around him as the inner decks of their ship filled with partially processed water.

 

The muffled voice of their environmental engineer came from within the bowels of one of their water reclamation systems, “I mean the damned thing blew of _towards_ the interior of this damned canister, and I can’t reach it!” she squeezed herself back out of the narrow opening, “It’s lodged in there, and I’ll have to damage more of it than I can fix with what supplies I have on hand, Carus.” She rubbed the back of her hand over her forehead, “I suppose we can try re-route to the two remaining systems, but we’re going to need to cut down on usage and wastewater production down to about 60 to 80 percent to make sure the other two don’t overflow and clog.”

 

Carus grumbled and stalked away as fast as he could, sloshing through calf-deep water, “Do it. Just fix it and I’ll deal with Bash.

 

“Copy!” the petite engineer called out to his rapidly shrinking figure.

 

He could feel his ire rise with every step he took towards the lift that would take him to the outer levels of the ship. He would need to have a sonic shower first, and was grateful that most of the bacteria and solid waste had been removed from the water he’d been forced to trek through. His skin began to crawl and itch, and his tolerance for it was growing thinner and thinner as he drew closer to his quarters. He was certain that nothing could make this _any_ worse when the ship was rocked by an explosion that knocked him into a nearby wall, and almost off his feet. He scrambled for the nearest communications panel, and dialed in on Bash’s location.

 

“Dammit, Carus! Where the _hell_ are you?!” his voice was full of static, but the irritation was palpable.

 

Carus choked down a growl and clenched his fist, “I was headed back to my quarters. What the hell was that explosion?” His last shred of patience and control was wearing alarmingly short. He could feel his muscles tense and bunch together, and sweat started to bead on his forehead. _Damn._

 

The static and noise of the compromised signal popped again, “They’re saying there’s a portion of the hull that’s gone…correction, it seems that several sections are missing parts of their hull, and we are down another environmental system, and _SHIT_! You need to get down to the lower levels and get everyone you can, Rus. I’m headed there now. We’re losing pressure down there. It’s barely hanging on.”

 

“Copy!” Carus turned and ran down the hall, and back to the lift. He could feel that the gravity in this section of the ship was getting lighter, and hoped that was the extent of their gravity loss. Too much more than this, and the water in the center would slowly make its way outward and contaminate more of the ship, if not escape into the vacuum of space. As he turned the final corner to the first part of the lower section, he was met with a startling drop in temperature in that area. Apparently, along with gravity generators, climate controls had been taken out. This did not bode well.

 

“Rus! Help us wedge these doors open!” Bash waved at him frantically as he and two other large males struggled to keep the doors wedged open, “Drenu, for as much of a male-whore as he is, managed to get all but two injured males out from the bowels of this section. He’s gone back to carry the one who can’t walk, and lead the other out. I need you to come hold the door so that I can go help.”

 

“Move!” Carus bellowed at the male on the left, and shouldered his way between the door and said male, “I need to work out some energy any damned way,” he grumbled as he thrust his shoulder into the emergency doors and pushed. He felt his muscles bunch and shift, burning with exertion, and savored the moment. It felt good to release his aggression on something productive. He gave another big shove as he heard Bash verbally guide the partially blinded male through the doors.

 

“That’s right, just another step to the left, and we’ll get you on a gurney and headed to the medbay, fret not,” his tone was gentler than Carus had heard in a number of weeks, and he was grateful for whatever reprieve his milk-brother may be experiencing from his own Change.

 

Drenu grunted as he cleared the doorway and collapsed on the floor in front of it with the weight of his unconscious rescue, “Well, someone remind me to never do something that stupidly heroic ever again.” He joked good-naturedly, “I’m not sure that I can handle all the applause.”

 

“Shut up, Drenu.” Carus’s voice was almost an entire octave deeper, and the scowl on his face startled everyone in the vicinity.

 

Bash cautiously edged near his dear friend and milk-brother, “Rus? Are you okay?” he cautiously took in his appearance: tense muscles, dilated pupils, flushed appearance, and perspiration. “Carus, are you _feeling_ alright?”

 

Carus growled at him, “No. Stop hovering like a mother hen, Bash. You know I am not feeling well, do not begin to pretend you do not know what is wrong with me,” he rolled his neck and shoulders in an agitated manner, “I’ll help you finish up with what preparations and repairs that are needed, and then I’ll put myself into one of those damned cryo-chambers.”

 

“Alright, alright,” Bash raised his hands and backed up a little bit, “You sure you’re going to be able to control that aggression in the meantime?” he smirked as his milk brother leveled him with a glare.

 

* * *

 

The heads up display in Bash’s office screamed as Carus gave it a narrow-eyed glare. He’d been temporarily banished to cool his temper, and had almost succeeded when the squawking of the communications unit began. He took a deep, centering breath, and accepted the call, “This is Senior Security Officer Car -” his voice caught in his throat.

 

“Carus.” Lanie’s tone was dry and unimpressed, or so she hoped. Her traitorous heart had leapt in her chest at the first sight of _him._ “I was calling for Bash, yet you answer his comm,” she raised her lip slightly into a sneer. “But, you will do as well as he. I have a message to deliver, as it seems that my call was not expected.”

 

He swallowed thickly, and felt the edge of his irritation melt away at the sound of her voice. She was mad. No, _furious_ , and she barely concealed it. “A – a messge?” he wanted to kick himself for his ineloquence, but struggled to move from where he stood, mesmerized and drugged from the force of the endorphins flooding his system. _I’ve missed you so much._ “What message?”

 

Lanie rolled her eyes, “Tell Cressida that Phase Two completed much faster than we anticipated and projected arrival at the rendezvous point is currently four days early.” The tension in her shoulders dropped a fraction as she took in how dilated his eyes were, the perspiration that trickled down the side of his temple, and the now relaxed set of his mouth, “You look like shit.”

 

His bark of laughter escaped him before he had completely registered her words. His Mistress of Hellfire had not changed in his absence, and for that he was grateful, “Things are a little harried here. One of our water reclamation systems is busted, three sections of our ship have sustained damaged from errant space dust, and we are prepping a good number of our people for cryo-sleep.”

 

Her sour demeanor softened a fraction, and she rolled her eyes again, “Well, I have delivered my message, and if you have half the brains you appear to still retain, you’ll give that message to Cressida for me.”

 

“I will deliver it to Bash. I’m about an hour or so away from cryo-sleep myself,” he sighed, as he reached out to type out a message onto Bash’s tablet.

 

“Cryo-sleep? Why?” Lanie tried to keep the edge in her voice, but lamented when more concern and worry edged into it instead.

 

Carus gave her a half smile, “Don’t worry yourself. We are all taking cycles to account for the losses in environmental controls and compensate for stressors.”

 

“What sorts of stressors?” Her voice was steel again.

 

“Change Sickness, Lanie.” He sighed and rubbed his hand over his face, “Apparently, my body is fighting your absence more than I anticipated. I thought we would be alright, that I would be alright...” he let his voice drift, and cleared his throat, “A cryo-cycle or two should be able to ease the symptoms enough that I can function.”

 

She snorted, “Of course.”

 

“I’m sorry, Lanie. I -”

 

“That’s enough. We’re done here.” she reached out with one slim hand, and the vidscreen went dark.

 

It seemed Lanie would never forgive him. And, he deserved it.

 

* * *

 

Lanie shut down the connection to Carus and jumped up from her vidscreen. “ _Stupid_. Pigheaded. Selfish.” She kicked her chair for good measure, but soon her shoulders drooped as she felt the rage leave her. “Selfless damned idiot.” Seeing him had sent a rush of elation and relief through her system that she’d struggled to fight. It rocked her to see him so intensely _different_. No. It would not do to dwell on how his eyes softened when he saw her. Nor would it do to think of how relief and bliss had washed over his face when she spoke. No. She would focus on how he still put his people before her...instead of asking her to be there with him. She couldn’t make him want her. So, she would continue to convince herself that she hated him.

 

Otherwise, she would break.

 

* * *

 

Hours after the endorphin rush from seeing Lanie had worn off, Carus had tasked himself with heading up the teams that worked to retrieve personal belongings and items from the depressurized and locked decks of the ship. Bash watched from the monitor as his dearest friend struggled to temper his strength and work the frustration from his bones. When asked whether he wanted a batch of suppressants to take off the edge, Carus had left the room. It was then Bash had wondered if he had made the right choice in taking the suppressants at all.

 

Mentally, it was difficult being away from Cressida. As the suppressants wore off, he would catch phantom whiffs of her scent, and it sent him scrambling for his next dose. He knew this would not end well. His resistance to the suppressants steadily increased, and the pain intensified every time he went a little longer than he should for another dose. He was sure that it was a sign of the internal damage he was suffering from the strong drugs, but he couldn’t afford to fall into Change Sickness now. So, he was stuck between jonesing for his next does, and going through a complete detox and Change Sickness all at once. Neither option was particularly attractive. He could feel the fuzzy, blurred haze seep into his brain, and imagined he could smell a familiar woody, spicy, and citrusy scent that had been haunting his sleep for months, now.

 

“Bash?”

 

He felt all of his muscles bunch and freeze in place. He forced himself to roll his neck and shoulders and struggled to relax enough to go back to watching the monitors to ensure his people were safe. Phantom scents and voices or not, he _would_ do his job.

 

“ _Bash_.”

 

His brow furrowed, and he turned his head slowly to the open door of his office. A figure stood in the doorway, blocking the bright light of the hallway and obscuring most of the face, but he KNEW that figure. “Cress?” His astonishment barely allowed for that one word.

 

She strode into his office and fought the urge to take in a deep breath - to try and breathe in the coffee, cinnamon, and buttered toffee scent she hoped would be there, “I’ve been calling you for a little bit. You seemed immersed in your thoughts, dear friend.” She smiled warmly at him. She felt a pang of disappointment when nothing more than the scent of electronics and stale, recycled air met her senses.

 

Her voice rolled over him like a warm, soothing wave, and he found himself smiling, “I’m sorry. I was making some mental lists and doing some calculations on what we would need to accomplish before we can send the first wave of people into cryo.” He tilted his head and gave her a baffled look, “What are you doing here?”

 

She graced him with one of her megawatt smiles, “Well, since we last spoke, we found that our sick crew members shared some interesting and specific genetic base pairs with the members of the list you gave me, apart from a few. But, we all felt it was prudent to share what information we had with them, and those crew members pooled their resources, organized themselves and all decided to join their partners.”

 

Bash felt his jaw go slack. They came to _join_ them? His mind whirled and spun as he tried to find the right words to say, “What do you mean they pooled resources, Cress?”

 

She gave him an impish smile, “My team and crew are all very well paid individuals. They all have the benefit of being members of the Intergalactic Science Community that stipulates a particular minimum salary for all members across the board. When we complete missions, we are all given a significant bonus. Salaries are paid while on missions, and when we are not, there is no flow of income, and not everyone in the ISC is able to work back to back missions, so our minimum salary is sufficient enough that proper budgeting will allow a member to live comfortably for a minimum of a year.

 

“My crew and team members are among the highest paid individuals in the Community because of our success rate. We are never in want for anything, and some have even taken to give large portions of their salaries to charitable causes of their choosing.” She paused to judge whether he was having difficulty absorbing the information she dumped on him. When it seemed he had digested what she’d said, she continued, “There are also crew and team members who participate in solo projects and research that do not require a full staff and they are also compensated accordingly. This inevitably means, we _all_ sit small fortunes when examined separately, but when viewed as a lump sum, it is _considerable_. None of those who are experiencing the Change as part of a pair is willing to let their _potential_ go unused and _finances_ sit inert when they can come to join their _mates_ and become productive, contributing members of _their_ new culture.”

 

“I – I am not sure how we can thank you all for what you have done for us...” Bash could feel his heart clench in his chest, and his breathing seize up as he struggled for words.

 

Cressida reached out and gently placed a hand at his elbow, “They didn’t do this _for_ you, they did it _with_ you and for themselves, too. Apparently, instinct and biology cannot be denied.” She gave him an impish wink, and prayed that he would not be able to tell how he affected her.

 

He placed a warm hand over hers, and smiled down fondly at her, “You all have become the salvation of our kind. I hope you know that.” _You are my salvation._ Even without pheromones and biology interfering, he want to kiss this female soundly and fiercely.

 

“I will always endeavor to be a good friend, Bash.”

 

He stiffened, almost imperceptibly, at her words. He needed to tell her the truth, and he needed to come off the suppressants, but now was not a good time and it certainly wasn’t safe. There was no telling how intense and difficult his detox would be nor what her reaction to it all would be. He had to do what he could to keep her safe, and _healthy_. Weeks ago, all his reasons for not telling her about their Change, about their pairing, and about how much he needed her had been blown away in the wind like the brittle, leafy things that they were. So, now, face to face with her he vowed to finish the repairs and work that need to be completed, and the would not let anything else prevent him from telling her the truth.

 

“I am eternally grateful for you and your friendship, Cressida,” he looked at her from behind his dark lashes, “And, I will find a way to prove to you just how grateful I really am.”

 

She blushed at his words, “It isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for anyone else, Bash, honest.” She found it hard to look into his steel-grey eyes knowing that what she was feeling would be too obvious if she gave into her desire to really drink him in.

 

“I know that, Cress. But, it was for _us_ that you mobilized and organized all of this,” he smiled warmly at her, “Now, shall we go and see what we need to accomplish to cement this new understanding with our peoples?”

 

She gave him another of her brilliant, megawatt smiles, “Definitely.”

 

* * *

 

They had worked as swiftly as they could unload all the supplies and people from Cressida’s ship, and were nearing completion when the fight broke out. Almost as if sensing a _change in the wind_ Bash had stood suddenly from where he had been bent over a crate, sorting through its contents, and ran from the room at breakneck speed. Cressida had followed as fast as she could, and would catch glimpses of his back as he turned down corners and corridors. When she’d turned down the umpteenth corridor, she heard the ruckus before she saw it.

 

“Hold him _DOWN_!”

 

“No! GET AWAY FROM ME!!!”

 

“Not his legs, you _idiot_!”

 

“Would someone _please_ put a knee into his back? He’s getting up again!”

 

“I SAID GET _AWAY_ FROM ME!”

 

“Shit! He just _bit_ me!”

 

“What the _fuck_ set him off?!”

 

“ _SHUT UP_ and _tie him down_!”

 

“If it’s so damned easy, _YOU_ do it!”

 

“I’LL FUCKING KILL ALL OF YOU!!!”

 

The sound of scuffling, heavy breathing, and a low-level growl followed Carus’s enraged bellow. Cressida cautiously made her way around the stacked crates in the makeshift cargo hold they’d made out of an unused conference arena. The smaller of the crates and containers were scattered and tumbled over themselves from the soft, thudding impact of bodies just beyond her line of sight.

 

“ _PAX,_ Carus! Pax! You need to calm yourself, brother!”

 

“That is easy for you to say when _your_ mate is so close!”

 

The sickening thud of fist meeting face followed Carus’s jab, and Cressida froze in her tracks. “You know better than that, _brother_. Now, let us _HELP_ you!”

 

“You only want to help _yourself_!” She poked her head around a corner in the direction of the voices, and was met with Carus’s dark green eyes and a sinister looking smile. And, before she could register how _wrong_ it was, he lunged at her.

 

“Damn it, Drenu! _HOLD HIM_!” Bash’s panicked voice registered just before she was thrust back against some crates, head snapping back onto something that threw her back forward, and dark oblivion engulfing her. “ _CRESSIDA_!” Bash threw another punch into his milk-brother’s face, with all his weight, and ran for her prone body.

 

“What is _she_ doing here, and why isn’t _my_ mate here, Bash? What sort of selfish game are you playing?!” Carus could barely suppress his rage.

 

Drenu finally managed to jab a needle deep into the tightly bunch muscles of Carus’s shoulder, and depressed the plunger to empty the tranquilizer they had unsuccessfully tried to administer before Bash and Cressida’s arrival, “ _SHIT_! He’s practically feral!” His hands shook as Carus’s body began to go limp, and he swiftly removed the needle. “Thank fucking goodness he didn’t snap this with how tight his muscles were! What the hell is he going on about a _mate_ for, Bash?!” Drenu turned to look at Bash as he gently cradled the doctor in his arms.

 

Bash sighed deeply, “Quit fucking acting like you have no idea what is going on, Drenu.” He nodded to the other five males who were gentling their grips on a now unconscious Carus, “Thank you for your help, Gentlemen. Please take him to the cryo-chamber we reserved for him. It seems we will have do without him for the interim.” He struggled to rise to his feet, with Cressida in his arms, and Drenu reached over to heft him up from his elbows.

 

“Are you going to tell her?” He cocked his head at Bash, and raised his eyebrows in his trademark haughty manner, “She’s bound to figure it out, especially after what Carus said.”

 

“Leave it, Drenu,” Bash could begin to smell the unconscious female in his arms, and it made him antsy, “I will tell her, but if you don’t back away I’m not going to be responsible for what happens to your face.” He grit his teeth together.

 

Drenu threw his head back in a howl of laughter, “You think those suppressants will help you now?” He bent over and wrapped his arms around his midsection, “Just you wait, Bash. You’re about to be in the same boat as the rest of us, only it’ll be worse for you because of those damned suppressants.”

 

Bash paused from burying his nose into Cressida’s hair and looked up at Drenu, “In the same boat?” He straightened his spine, “Are you in the Change, too, Drenu?” Suddenly, Cressida’s comment about how _almost_ all her affected crew members had found a match began to make sense.

 

The male immediately stopped laughing and crossed his arms defensively, “Don’t sound so surprised, Bash,” he said with a little pout, “You and Carus have it easy.” He nodded towards the exit, and Bash followed.

 

“What do you mean that we have it _easy_ , Drenu. How much harder can it be than this?” He looked down at his unconscious mate, “I’m _lying_ to my mate, Carus voluntarily _left_ his mate, and I’m not seeing how anything could be harder than this!”

 

The younger male sighed, “I’m fairly certain my potential mate has offspring.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Yes, Bash, and I am terrified of being around her in the event that her _child_ is nearby,” his voice wobbled, “What if – what if the child’s smell is repulsive? What if -” he choked on a sob, “ _Shit_ , Bash, What if the Change doesn’t allow for a bond with the child the way our parents bond with us? I cannot ask her to abandon her child. Or worse, what if – what if I _hurt_ the child?!” his fists clenched at his sides.

 

Bash sighed again, nuzzling his nose deep into Cressida’s chestnut locks one last time before he deposited her on the cot in medbay, “Have you scented the child?”

 

“A few times,” he admitted sullenly, “Her scent has always been a little _off_ and, it wasn’t until I saw her with the child that I realized what I had been scenting,” he took a deep, shuddering breath, “And, after that, I did what I could to avoid her. I was too afraid...”

 

Bash turned to look at him, “So, that is why you started your male-whoring?” When the younger male nodded, Bash slung an arm about his shoulders, “Would you still avoid her, now?” Sympathy welled up in his chest for the young, reckless male they had all been so irritated with. It now appeared he had very good reason to go about doing things the way that he had.

 

“No. No I would not, but I would demand that we were never left unchaperoned,” Drenu roughly wiped the tears from his face, “I can’t risk it, Bash. I can’t risk that I would hurt either of them.”

 

He squeezed Drenu’s shoulders lightly, “It sounds to me like you are feeling protective of them both, Drenu,” and he took the opportunity to turn the male towards the door, “And, I know of whom you speak. She and her daughter are here. It would seem that you had enough contact that she came seeking you.”

 

“Not me,” he shook his head sadly, “I didn’t submit to the testing.”

 

“Nevertheless, she knows that she is in the Change, and it wouldn’t take much for her to get a genetic sample,” he gave Drenu a gentle shove towards the door, “Do not make the same mistake that I so foolishly made. Go find her. Tell her why you ran, and go _DO_ something about it all.”

 

Drenu stopped in the doorway and turned his head back to look at Cressida, resting peacefully on the cot, “You should take your own advice. When she’s not so animated, you can see how hard this has been on her.”

 

Bash ran a hand over his face, “I know. I _know_. I’ll tell her. I haven’t been a very good male or mate to her, have I?” he asked as his face softened while taking in her appearance.

 

“No. But, you’ve been a great leader. I’m sure her warm heart will accept the sacrifices you’ve made, but I don’t think she’ll understand if you hold out much longer,” Drenu watched at Bash’s eyes rose to his, shining with hope, “When I said that her interests lie elsewhere, I meant that they lie with _you_.” And with that, he strode from the room.

 

Bash was rooted to the spot. _Him_? But, she’d always referred to them as _friends_. He turned to look at her again, and furrowed his brow. Was it really possible? His mind whirled as every interaction between them began to replay in his mind’s eye. He brushed his hand across her face, and looked at her with new eyes. He would do what he could to find out for certain.

 

* * *

 

“Bash?” Her throat was dry and scratchy. She blinked, and felt grit in her eyes as she tried to focus on his blurry face above hers, “Where the hell am I?” She struggled to sit upright, as her head ached and spun.

 

Warm, firm hands gently pressed her shoulders back down, “Relax, and lie down, Cressida. You took a nasty bump to the head, and we brought you down to the medbay.” He took one of her hands in his own when she sighed and leaned back, “Give yourself some time to adjust to it all, and we’ll get you to your feet. Okay?” the concern in his voice warmed her from the inside.

 

“Is Carus alright? How did you know he was in trouble?” she closed her eyes, letting herself enjoy the contact however innocent, and sighed pleasantly.

 

Bash chuckled, “And here, I was worried that you would be traumatized.” She gave her trademark snort, “He and I have been milk-brothers from the day he was born, and two days after I was born. His mother -” his voice broke, “ - his mother raised us like twins. She always encouraged us to build our bond and to listen to each other – to anticipate what the other would need before we were even aware of it ourselves,” he shrugged. “I supposed it is more of an _instinct_ , now.”

 

Cressida hummed at him, “You worry about him a lot.”

 

“Yes, and he has always looked after me in my more reckless days.” He sighed, “I’m certain he’ll be okay so long as we are able to complete his Change with his mate. The cryo-chamber is a stop-gap measure and it would be best to sedate him as he is coming out of cryo so that he wakes in a room with his intended,” he scowled.

 

“Lanie is pretty pissed at him.”

 

He stared at her blankly, “You...”

 

She snorted again, “Oh, come on. Their relationship had a textbook meet-cute, intensity and all, and it was _obvious_ they were sleeping together for the majority of our mission. It isn’t rocket science to figure out just what was going on.” She smirked and cracked an eye in his direction, “You should have seen how angry she was when we left. The last time she was that angry, a colleague ended up with some of the worst assignments for nigh three years,” she giggled, “and I would _not_ want to be in Carus’s shoes when he has to beg forgiveness.”

 

Bash gave her a crooked half smile, “I should have known you would puzzle it out, Cress.” She closed her eye, and a small frown crossed her face before she was able to render her expression neutral, “What’s wrong?”

 

She pursed her lips to one side, and hesitated. _This is the dumbest thing I could say right now._ “I heard him, you know.” She could feel his hand tense slightly slightly around her own, and she felt her mouth tug upward into a rueful grin, “It’s alright, Bash. You don’t have to tell me whether or not you have a mate. It really isn’t any of my business, but I wanted to let you know – _as your friend_ – that I would do nothing to stand in the way of your happiness.” She squeezed his hand gently.

 

Now was the time that he could tell her. She had her suspicions that he was going through the Change, and it would all be out in the open, and they could move forward. Yet, he hesitated. He couldn’t seem to make the words form on his lips, _You are my mate. You are my intended. You are the only one for me._ And, he sat there mute and frozen in fear. How could he tell her that he was _afraid_? How could he tell her that he felt as if he didn’t _deserve_ her or the happiness she would bring yet? How would he say that he still had to atone for this sins of his youth?

 

“You really need to work on your brooding, Bash,” her playful tone broke through his troubled thoughts, “It’s got some of the worst timing.” She shook her head in mock dismay, “I mean, here I am all banged up and bored, and you’re slipping into that brow-furrowing, frowning brood that you always seem to be in around me.” She poked playfully at his cheek, “I _know_ there’s a smile in there somewhere. Let’s have it.”

 

His eyes rose slowly to meet hers, and he could see the worry and uncertainty lurking behind the forced cheerful mask she wore, “Your insightfulness always seems to give me something to really think about, Cressida. I apologize if I grow to introspective. You tend to make me re-examine myself.” Her smile faltered slightly, and he gave her a warm smile, “It isn’t a _bad_ thing. It’s just surprising. You know I hold your opinion of me in high regard, do you not?” She nodded mutely, “Good. Never mistake your ability to make me _think_ to be a bad influence,” he patted her hand gently. “My father would have found you to be a good influence on his wayward son, and quite charming too boot.”

 

 _Shit_. She felt herself flush at his compliment, her stomach did a little flip-flop, and her traitorous heart leapt and felt as if it grew too large to be held within her chest. All hope that she had been fooling herself into thinking that she _loved_ him fled with that last statement. When the time came for Bash to claim his mate, Cressida had to be as far away as possible. There was no fighting biology, and she was hopelessly lost to an unrequited love for a male meant for someone else.

 

_SHIT._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there we go. I'm really hoping that the next chapter provides some much needed smut. XD Show of hands: Who thinks that Bash needs to get with the program?
> 
> And of course, your Kudos, Comments, Subscriptions, and Bookmarks send a jolt of renewed energy through me, and help me push through and work out the kinks. [This is not to be confused with the jolt my coffee gives me. ;)] Shoot me a line, tell me what you think, tell me where you think this will go, tell me where you hope it will go. 
> 
> Until the next update. <3


	10. Alone - Finally!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the two crews - finally - are able to find an equilibrium, but another few unexpected surprises yields a more favorable outcome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bash has made this chapter particularly difficult to write. So much so, even Cressida's pretty fed up with his idiocy. So, it's a hair longer than usual, but I promise it'll be worth it.

 Cressida brushed the dust off her hands in a satisfied manner. Almost 24 straight hours of unloading and repair work had followed her short stint in the medbay. It was fortunate that she hadn’t needed stitches, but she would be damned if she would sit around while there was cargo to be unloaded, sorted, repairs to be made, and personnel to group and prepare for cryo. They had managed to get the first third of people into cryo-sleep, and were prepping to load up the second third in the next few days. Directing over five thousand people should have been harder than this, but it appeared that those on her crew were as disciplined as ever, and Bash’s people had no problems with organizing and taking orders. It was a refreshing change.

 

The largest water reclamation system would be fixed within the time the first group of people cycled out of cryo for a few days. Coincidentally, that group held the largest number of scientists and mechanics, and they would be able to help install all the UV lamps and the holographic suite equipment that Cressida’s bonded crew members had brought with them. They would then have the first use of the suites and the added benefit of UV therapy before returning to cryo.

 

“Cressida! I’ve been looking for you.” Bash’s puzzled tone came from behind her.

 

“Oh yeah? What can I do for you?” She quirked her head to the side, taking in the baffled expression on his face.

 

He held a tablet in his hand and furrowed his brow, “I’ve only just had enough time to sit and go over all the pertinent notes and reports from the past 36 hours or so, and apparently Carus left a message for you from Lanie?” He gave her a bewildered look from behind his dark lashes over his tablet, “It says that they will be four days early to the rendezvous point?” He watched, hoping that something in her expression would clue him into what the two females had managed to arrange, “What _rendezvous_ point, Cressida?”

 

She suppressed a shudder at the stern, firm tone he used with her, and mentally stored that bit of information away to examine at another time, “Oh! That’s terrific!” She couldn’t keep the mischievous glint out of her eyes, “Losing roughly five hundred or so people from the Interstellar Science Commission is not such a small thing, however temporary it may be.”

 

“Interstellar -”

 

“Keep up, Bash,” she said in a sing-song voice as she strolled out of the cargo bay and headed towards the lift, with his office in mind. “The Interstellar Science Commission, or ISSC, is what I call my team and my crew on _my_ ship. I have a Captain and the crew to pilot her, but essentially we are all one unit. I guess you could say that I _own_ the _Isis_ and employ the ISSC as well as the ship crew aboard.

 

“In general, the number of able-bodied persons aboard can fluctuate anywhere between eight and twelve hundred. That margin of difference comes from the length of a mission, those who take shore leave, those who are temporarily assigned to other teams and missions, as well as the family members who may need to be housed and supported.” She shouldered through some of the narrower walkways created around all the fresh provisions stacked high in stasis crates littering the hallways that they had brought aboard. She made a mental note to double check that she had efficiently separated and sorted the food stores in favor of the numerous pairs going through the Change. “Anyhow, I wasn’t exaggerating when I said that we all held a _considerable_ sum when lumped together from roughly five hundred persons. One might say that we held enough to fund our own expedition as well as fund the start of a new, well established and furnished colony.” Her tone was airy and her hips swished as she sauntered into his office in front of him.

 

“Expedition?” he desperately tried to pry his eyes away from her hips and plump rear, “Colony?” But, try as he might, he could focus on nothing other than the image of Cressida’s sashaying.

 

She plopped down into his chair and wrinkled her nose at him, “What is with you today? Are you feeling alright?” She rolled her neck, and sighed. The back of her head was still a little sore from where the crate had crashed into her to knock her out. “I know it isn’t _that_ much to take in, Bash. We have to rendezvous with another ship that is roughly the size of the _Isis_ , and we’ll clear a lot of this clutter by shifting it over, and then we’ll have three ships. A _fleet_!” She threw her hands up in the air and tossed her head back in a gesture of success.

 

“I am still baffled and overwhelmed by the constant generosity displayed by you and your crew, Cressida. I never imagined that you would come to our aide, much less choose to endure the indeterminate years we very well may be spending in the Expanse before we are able to settle anywhere,” his traitorous mind still replayed images of her hips swaying, and now added the way her chest heaved forward when she threw her head back, arms up with that look of self-satisfaction on her face.

 

She sat up and gave him an impish look with a raised eyebrow, “Besides, this is probably the most excitement we have all had in quite some time. It’s exhilarating to _not_ worry so much about deadlines.” We all have about six months to a year before we have to look for some research projects or shorter missions to help boost our finances, and keep us all comfortably padded and afloat,” she noticed the way his mouth tightened indicating he was deep in thought – calculating and figuring – and she felt her core heat. _Thinking_ men had always been a weakness of hers, but the way the male before her always thought and considered every outcome possible fascinated her.

 

Bash could begin to scent Cressida again, and he clenched his jaw and prepared to think of an excuse to leave once their conversation was over, “So, are you saying your crew in the _Isis_ will still go away on missions while we are out here in the Expanse looking for a suitable place to terraform?” at the curt, nod from her he continued, “And, what of those of my people that are willing to lend their expertise and skills?”

 

“Are you speaking of scientific expertise or mechanical expertise?”

 

“Any. We have a variety of skills that range from those that are practical on a ship or applicable in a laboratory,” he eyed her carefully, willing himself to keep to her face and not stray any lower.

 

She beamed at him, “If they feel that they would like to join the ISC and eventually the ISSC they will have to prove their mettle, but their chances of approved entry is greater by having the experience of working with my people and by being _mated_ to members of crew and team.” She could barely contain her giddiness at the scope of this project, because there were few things that Cressida enjoyed more than a monumental undertaking. Challenge had been the goal in her career, and it always led her to success. “You’ll have all of us on hand for one-on-one coaching and training, so your chances at being accepted into ISC and ISSC as crew or team is definitely in your favor.”

 

Her gleeful grin and thorough planning made Bash feel intensely predatory and suddenly aggressive. He closed his eyes, unclenched his fists, and tried to _breathe_ rather than _scent_. “So, you are adding a ship that is yet unnamed, embarking on an indeterminate mission of your own, and the Chairman Viceroy has given her seal of approval?”

 

The cat-ate-the-cream smile immediately dropped from Cressida’s face. “Excuse me?” Her brow furrowed, and she sat upright in the chair she had so carelessly thrown herself into earlier. “What the hell does my _mother_ have to do with anything?”

 

Bash’s arms were crossed over his chest, nostrils flaring, and brow furrowed into a deep scowl, “The Chairman Viceroy made it _quite_ clear that certain _resources_ were not so carelessly and frivolously assigned. In fact, the Viceroy was quite certain that your career and personal interests lie in areas _not_ related to the endeavors my people and I undertake.” He had no idea why he was feeling so insecure suddenly, and his mouth would not stem the flow of bitterness that spewed forth.

 

“I really cannot believe this.” Cressida stood abruptly, “I thought that our _friendship_ somehow transcended the implanted misgivings and overreaching machinations from a parent that has no real understanding of me and where my wants and desires lie. Moreover, I thought you and I had a better understanding of each other and a better foundation of _trust_ , Bash, than to ever be subject to doubt and accusations of this nature.” She could feel her cheeks burn with embarrassment and rage, “I told the _Chairman Viceroy_ that she had no place in my life beyond the professional dealings necessary of my station. She cared more for her seven husbands than she did for her lonely child, and when I realized what a _selfish_ person she was, I decided to show her what I could accomplish without a romantic partner in the mix.” She strode over and poked him in the chest, “I did this for my _crew_ , Bash. And, if you think that I’m cut from the same cloth as she, you aren’t the male I thought you were.” She quickly turned and left.

 

Bash waited until he was sure she had stormed out of sight, and scrambled around to the other side of his desk and dialed his injector for a triple dose of suppressants. He’d been foolish and had let his doses lapse. And, now, he’d quite possibly ruined any opportunity to tell Cressida of their Change, and set things right. Carus would have hit him for this, and he certainly would have been well within his rights.

 

* * *

 

Despite Cressida’s cooler than normal demeanor towards him, she quickly, efficiently, and happily helped Bash prepare the second wave of people for cryo. After all the excitement of the past week, everything had gone off without a hitch – even with Cressida keeping all conversation to the topic of their work for five days straight. He would have to be made of stone to say that he was not affected by the distance between them, but he was also too stubborn and weak to admit that he was afraid to admit his wrongdoings. If he admitted that he’d acted irrationally, the truth about the suppressants and everything would come boiling over, and the possibility that Cressida would not understand, and that she would not forgive him scared him almost more than the withdrawal and detox he would suffer from the suppressants. When the predatory and aggressive urges had flooded through him, he’d panicked. And, no sooner than those stupid words had been uttered, he’d cornered himself somewhere between hurting Cressida _again_ and physically overwhelming her.

 

Drenu had casually strolled in after his dose of suppressants, and gave him that annoying quirk of his eyebrow, and strolled out just as casually as he’d entered. At this point, Carus’s berating and beatings were more appealing than the wordless smirks of the younger male. He groaned as he settled back in his bunk and mentally went through the list of things that would need to be prepared for the final wave of people to be put into cryo. The skeleton crew were carefully selected, and had run through emergency drills in preparation for cycling people in and out of cryo as well as regular maintenance.

 

The _Isis_ had left to make its rendezvous with the second ship to bring the final supplies and the newly hired crew and volunteer members of the ISSC. Their numbers would bring the whole expedition up to somewhere nearing five thousand eight hundred to six thousand two hundred souls that Bash and Cressida would have to assign and be responsible for. He rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes as he tried to reconcile their rapidly increasing ranks. Cress had stayed behind to help him digitally sort and categorize the incoming crew and determine which ship they would best be put to apprentice under for the first few months that they were adjusting.

 

He often caught her glancing out the corner of her eyes at him, and felt a wash of relief that she still checked on his condition despite how angry she felt. He’d made several aborted attempts at explaining to her how he managed to screw things up so royally, yet only managed to barely scrape together enough determination to _think_ he would try later.

 

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been asleep when the ship suddenly rocked violently and sent up warning klaxons. His heads up display blinked at him furiously and he scrambled to answer it, “Drenu? What the hell is going on?!”

 

The younger male’s mouth had a grim set to it, “We need to get as many people as possible into cryo NOW, Bash. Apparently, we are centered in the path of some giant, godforsaken wave, from some _stupid_ storm, from some _undefined_ part of the Expanse that is so _unpredictable_ we have no idea what that _stupid_ pocket of space is capable of generating, and it is...well... _coming._ ” He clutched at his hair and ground his teeth, “We have already taken some more damage – apart from the hull breaches that we’ve already started repairing – and I’m - I’m not sure what else is damaged, Bash. I don’t know anything about damned ships. I’m in over my head here. I’m -”

 

“ _ **DRENU**_!” Bash felt his Alpha bubble up at the poor, frightened male on the bridge, “I’ll be there shortly. Administer cryo drugs and have them group together in groups no larger than twenty. Hand each group a tablet, and have them enter their names and information into the cryo chambers from there. Got it?”

 

The blond male nodded furiously, “Okay, I think I see Doctor Cressida, now. I’ll let her know what you’ve said.” The vidscreen went blank.

 

Bash struggled to get his pants up and stomp on his boots before he threw a tunic over his head and stepped out into the corridor. People dashed about in all directions, some that he recognized as the skeleton crew, and he flagged one down. “Do we have any idea of how extensive the damage is currently?”

 

The human female looked up at him, “It’s not good, Sir. We will need to pick a few people to wake from the stasis pods near the core.”

 

“You mean in engineering?”

 

She nodded, “Yes sir, several of the main systems have been taken out, including primary life support. We are currently breathing what is left in the circulation system. So long as we can get everyone into cryo within the next couple of hours, the skeleton crew will be able to start patching and re-routing systems enough that the two or three crewmen in stasis will be able to restart the back-up life support systems in that area, and work from the center and branch outwards to patch up enough of the systems that they can bring the rest of the skeleton crew back to start on some of the more serious repairs.”

 

“Understood. I have a feeling that Cressida will insist that she is one of the stasis crew,” when she gave him a wry smile and nodded, Bash made a decision right then and there, “Very well. I need to you to enter it into the system that Cressida and myself will man the stasis pods and start the preliminary repairs.”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

“Dismissed.” Bash nodded at the petite woman and turned down the hall to start rounding up anyone that wasn’t on the skeleton crew, and assist in processing people for cryo.

 

* * *

 

The last of the crew had been processed through cryo, and Cressida almost wept with relief. They had another 45 minutes before temperatures and oxygen levels made their final preparations before entering stasis difficult. “Bash, I’m almost done re-routing power to reinforce the shielding around the cryo chambers and all the sections where the most critical of supplies are kept.”

 

“Understood. I’m already on my way to engineering to complete the final preparations,” Bash’s voice was gravelly and sounded more strained than usual through the comms, “I’ll meet you there.”

 

“Wait! I’m done here, and have sent full controls to engineering. Where are you? I can catch up with you, and we can go together,” she waited as the line stayed silent, “Bash?” her anxiety spiked and she felt as if the walls around her were opening up.

 

The comm crackled, “Meet me at the cryo hub on the end closest to the aeroponics deck.”

 

“I’ll be right there!” Cressida internally chided herself for feeling agoraphobic when she _lived_ in something that was essentially a grain of sand on a beach that is the Universe. Here in the Expanse? They were possibly a pebble that was close to being worn away into a few grains of sand.

 

“Cress! Over here!” Bash waved an arm above his head, as she looked across the railings of the aeroponics that surrounded them.

 

She quickly made her way over to him, reassured that she was not so alone in the wide open nothingness, “What are you doing here”

 

He gave her a tired grin, “I’m taking one last look at that wave headed for us,” he said as he pointed up through the crisscrossing arms of the aeroponics bay and out one of the singular “skylights” scattered throughout the ship. “It’s quite beautiful for something so destructive.”

 

Cress tilted her head back and gazed out at the purplish-orange haze in the distance, “How is it that I always find you somewhere near a skylight when critical decisions and actions are to be had?” She hadn’t meant for her tone to be so acerbic, but the exhaustion and stress was beginning to wear on her.

 

“I like to look up...to look out...and remember that we aren’t so grand, nor are we so small that all of this cannot be overcome.” His face was relaxed, pensive, and the worn lines of exhaustion framed his features and tugged at her heart.

 

“Come one. Let’s get into those stasis pods. I need some sleep.” She nudged him with an elbow.

 

He turned and smiled down at her, “Alright. Let’s get this ship parked behind that asteroid and go take a nap.” He’d taken a gamble on whether she would talk with him or ignore him. And, his heart gave a satisfied squeeze as they headed to their new posts for the interim.

 

* * *

 

Cressida woke slowly, and felt more rested than when she had entered cryo. _Thank goodness!_ They would have their work cut out for them for the next few hours, days, or however long it took to repair enough of the damage and wake the skeleton crew. She touched the soft button by her left hand that slid the stasis chamber door open with a soft whooshing noise, and wrinkled her nose. Was that coffee she was smelling? Had Bash been awake long enough to brew coffee? She tried to shake the remnants of stasis-sleep from her brain, and pulled herself upright.

 

She gazed around engineering and saw that most of the heads up displays for the critical systems showed that they were stable. A few, displays for less immediate needs were flashing red and it was obvious that the sound had been turned down. She cocked her head and frowned in dawning realization: Bash had been awake long enough to turn on secondary life support systems, tinker with a few of the other systems that needed to be reset, and was nowhere to be found. She stood on slightly wobbly legs, and strode over to the readout on where all crewmen and life-signs could be found. Bash was just outside the emergency doors where his and the higher ranking crewmen had chose to house their quarters, and he wasn’t moving.

 

She pressed the controls for the comms in his helmet, “Bash? Are you alright?” She waited for a response. He still didn’t move on the vidscreen and had not responded. “Bash? Are you conscious?” When he still didn’t respond, Cressida walked over and pulled on her space suit, locked on the helmet, and depressed the button to open the airlock. It really wasn’t like Bash to not respond, and she was beginning to worry that something had happened to his suit while he was checking quarters. She stepped into the airlock, waited for the doors behind her to close, and listened for the tell-tale sound of the small space depressurizing. The double doors before her began to recede into the bulkhead, and she squeezed out as soon as the space was large enough for her to make it through.

 

Despite there being no oxygen to breathe, the gravity generators for the ship still seemed to be partially functioning, and for that she was grateful. This would be an awful moment for her agoraphobia to make itself known, and gravity always helped her to counter the fear that she would just float away into nothingness. She’d finally crossed through the last bulkhead between her and Bash, and called for him down the corridor, “Bash! You really need to answer me. I’m starting to feel a little frightened here.” The wobble was back in her voice, and she tried to steady her breathing, “I swear to all that is holy, if you somehow managed to damage that suit and get yourself killed, I’m going to -”

 

“I’m not dead, Cress.” His voice was gruff and his posture tense.

 

She cautiously stepped towards him, “Are you alright? You seem very...put off.” She cautiously leaned herself around to see his face in his helmet. His forehead was beaded in sweat, his pupils dilated, and he wore a deep scowl. She patiently waited for him to answer.

 

“Some of the quarters sustained enough hull damage that some of the smaller items have been vented into space, Cress. Mine included,” he clenched his fists, grateful for the additional barriers of their suits. He’d been the first to wake, and it made him realize that he had not anticipated how the stasis chambers would essentially strip the buildup of suppressants from his system because of the internal damage they would cause. He’d woken up to the thick, cloying scent of his mate, and had fought with himself to put his suit on and lock down the helmet instead of waking her and letting her know full-on what was between them.

 

“I’m sorry,” she hesitated to place a reassuring hand on his forearm, “Were you able to move the last of your father’s vintage to the safer holding areas?” For once, she had no idea how to comfort him. Something had definitely changed between them, and for the first time in her life, she found herself resenting alien biology and wishing she had settled into a romantic entanglement of some sort so she would not be pining after a male that was so out of her reach.

 

Bash grit his teeth, “The vintage is fine. What isn’t fine is that all of my suppressants have been vented into the Expanse.” This was his chance. He would finally do right by them both, and he prayed she would not be angry. “I’m going to go into a _rut_ , Cressida. And, I’m not sure how intense or _violent_ it will be. And, what’s worse is that we have innumerable repairs to make.” His shoulders slumped in defeat, “I’m not sure how long I have before – before my _Alpha_ comes to the fore, and I lose any semblance of control.”

 

Cressida stepped back, her heart clenching painfully in her chest, “Well, then, we work on what we can to ensure that you and your mate can – can have some privacy, we wake her from cryo, and I’ll go into cryo, and – and -” her voice caught in her throat. Her worst nightmare had come true, and she would have to unexpectedly meet the female that had managed to forge a biological bond with the one male she had come to use as a standard for all the others. “I’ll head back to engineering and see what else we need to patch temporarily,” she blurted as she whirled around and began taking long, swift strides to put distance between them.

 

She barely registered the growl before she was hauled around by her shoulders and pressed up against Bash, save for the restrictions of their helmets, “Don’t run from me, Cressida,” he growled. His pupils were blown wide, and his nostrils flared, “If you are going to leave, _walk_.”

 

“Excuse me?” Cressida felt heat rise in her cheeks, indignation well in her chest, and something unfurl somewhere obscenely close to her core, “What makes you think that you can talk to me like that, Bash?” she could feel her breathing become shallower and heat prickle over her skin, “You know as well as I do that we are _equals_ and you do not order me around.” The nape of her neck was suddenly hot, and sweaty. _What the hell is going on_ _?_ A whisper of memory fluttered through her brain - a stern tone, a furrowed brow, and a raspy voice demanding answers. She had felt something then, and it had puzzled her because overbearing, demanding, and _commanding_ men had never been more than an annoyance. But, Bash, with his steel-blue eyes, his thoughtful, intelligent, and diplomatic manner had not struck her as a domineering type. Truth be told, her time and dealings with his people had taught her that they were _all_ Alpha males in their own right. It was foolish to believe that sort of dominant behavior would not follow into their bedroom sport. So, Cressida suddenly found knees shaking at the thought that he would drown her in his presence – dominate all her senses. “You – you can’t _possibly_ be serious, Bash.”

 

Bash closed his eyes and took a moment to compose his face, “When I let you go, Cress, you need to _walk_ back to engineering, and make sure that the doors to the vented quarters are sealed and locked. I am going to stay here and work on getting the life support in this section of the ship working again.” He opened his eyes again, but the pupils were still blown, and he leaned in a fraction, “When I am done, I’m going to call you back, and we are going to set some things _straight_ , Cressida.”

 

She struggled to swallow, “What exactly are we going to be settling?” His high-handed manner should have put her off, but he held her close and she could see how dilated his pupils were dilated. She could feel his chest as he sawed his breath unevenly, could feel the tighly coiled muscle he held her agains, and she refused to let herself speculate on what exactly was radiating warmth into the hips. “I should be starting the cryo process and we should be thawing your _mate_ , Bash. Don’t stand there issuing demands like you don’t have more pressing concerns.”

 

A slow, self-assured smile spread across Bash’s face, “There will be no thawing, Cressida. You need to do as I say,” he quirked an eyebrow and leaned a fraction of an inch further into her personal space, “As it stands, the only thing that is keeping _me_ from _you_ is the lack of breathable air in this corridor.”

 

Cressida felt like the air had been punched from her gut, and furrowed her brow, “But -”

 

“I’ve been a complete fool, Cress.” He clenched his jaw, and pulled himself away from her slowly, peeling them apart like Velcro, “I wanted to have _something_ to present my mate, so that she could see that I would be able to care for her and attend to her needs. But, instead, she came to my rescue. She brought me independence through allying with my people and increasing our numbers with able-bodied, intelligent people. She casually planned ways in which we can all support ourselves and make something worthwhile from a handful of Exiles.” As the full weight of his words registered, Cressida could feel her hands grip his forearms, and she sought his steadying hold, “I foolishly drugged myself with suppressants in the fear that you would see only the things that were lacking, and before I knew it, I was too deep into my lies of omission. I had no idea how to set things right, and tell you that _you belong with me_.” He stepped back and removed his hands from her completely, “So, when I _ask_ you to go to engineering, ensure the airlocks on those quarters are holding, and come back here as soon as you can, I am _asking_ you to help me gather enough control to keep myself from stalking after you and _showing_ you what I should have done from the beginning – right on the floor in engineering.”

 

Cressida took a hesitant step backwards, heart racing, head racing faster, and took in the male before her as he laid himself bare. “Walk. Not run.” He nodded slowly. “How much time do I have?” she knew her voice was breathy and soft, but could not risk putting more energy into projecting her voice when she desperately needed to hold herself rooted to the spot.

 

“I think I can manage about ten minutes without eyes on you,” he said as his fists clenched at his sides, “Any longer than that, Cressida, and I -”

 

“I’ll be back in five,” She looked him directly in the eyes, lips parted slightly, “But, you need to let me run, Bash.” He growled at his name, and forced himself to take a step back, “Then, you need to keep the line open, and talk me through what you are doing.”

 

She gave him her megawatt smile, “I can do that easily,” and at his nod, she turned and took off. “Holy shit, Bash.” She ran back down the corridor and paused for the first in the series of bulkheads back to engineering, “You are such an asshole for not telling me,” he growled in response, and she slipped through the slowly opening doors and ran again. “And, I swear to you I’m going to take this out of your hide.” She stood at the second bulkhead, anxious and jittery.

 

“ _Cress_.” The warning in his voice was clear, and she suppressed a shudder.

 

“Ohmygod, are you going to do the _voice_ thing on me, Bash? I’ve been wondering how that works,” she turned the corner and pressed the door for the airlock to engineering, and stepped inside. “Okay, I’m inside, and I’m engaging all the airlocks for those doors. And, I’m coding a security lock that will need you or myself to override it to open them for any repairs.” Her fingers flew across the control panel, and she could feel herself smile as anticipation spread through her. He wanted her. Bash was _hers_. She finished setting the lock, and turned to face the airlock doors, “I’m stripping off my suit, Bash.” Bash cursed a blue streak in her ear and she giggled, “Just the space suit, silly. I promise I’ll leave the rest for you.”

 

She jumped when the airlock doors retracted, and the usual door-less opening greeted her, “Get your ass down here, Cressida.” Bash’s voice held a note of amused desperation, and then suddenly changed timbre, “ _ **NOW**_.” Her arms jerkily stripped off her suit the rest of the way, and she started to run back down the hallways and corridors back to him.

 

A deep, buttery toffee scent caught the edges of her awareness, and made her slow her pace slightly. It was so familiar, and the closer she got, the more complex it became. A layer of cinnamon became more pronounced as she drew closer to the final bulkhead, and she could feel perspiration start to bead her skin, and a warm, throbbing feeling radiate out from her core. “Bash?” She called out when she came to the final few inches to where he had revealed all to her. Only his suit remained in the hallway, and as she drew closer, she could smell the distinct coffee scent she had grown so familiar with. “All those times I smelled coffee, I thought I was losing my mind!” She paused over his discarded suit, and argued with herself about whether she should pick it up and scent it or, if she should go looking for him.

 

“Cress,” his low, gruff voice drifted towards her, and she closed her eyes at how his delicious, decadent scent wafted towards her and enveloped her, “That really isn’t fair. You say my name like that and smell like that, and I can’t think.” She felt herself grow slick, and turned slowly to face him.

 

His face was intense, “What were you doing?” Her woody, spicy, citrusy scent floods his senses, and he could feel the tension leave his body, and his cock flexed painfully hard in his pants. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes wide with pupils dilated, and that perfect little mouth of hers was parted in a pant. “ _ **Come here**_ ,” he couldn’t help himself. He wanted to voice her into complete submission.

 

Cressida groaned, feeling her arousal spike, “How are you doing that?” she took a few tentative steps forward, “I’m not going anywhere until you tell me,” but her feet kept moving forward, inch by burning inch. Her skin suddenly felt too tight and too hot.

 

“We call it the Alpha Voice,” he grumbled at her with this fists clenched at his sides, “We tend to use it on unruly mates who don’t know how to listen and _**come here**_ _._ ” He clenched his fists at his sides, resisting the urge to drag her into himself by her shoulders. He could smell her arousal change from the usually crisp, spicy scent into something more musky and heady. His Alpha crowed at the ease in which she submitted to his commands, and itched to grab her and have his way.

 

Cressida was finally a few inches from Bash, and she struggled to keep her distance. Something wild and desperate in her wanted to rub herself all over his chest, and beg him to touch her, or turn and run so that he would give chase. So she spoke instead, “How long have you known?” she panted, breathing in more of his rich scent.

 

“Since right before we rushed back to our home planet. I could _scent_ you, and it frightened me,” he cautiously reached out to her cheek, and stroked a finger down the side. A deep rumble started in his chest, and he forced himself to open his palm and cup her cheek gently, “You have to tell me you are okay with this, Cressida. You have to tell me what your limits are, because I’m sure that once I start -”

 

“I’m fine.” She looked up at him, and felt herself clench, “Whatever you need.” She turned her face into his palm, “I trust you.” And she gasped as her senses were overwhelmed with more of his spicy, smooth scent.

 

Bash finally closed the distance between them, and crowded her against the wall as he nosed at her throat, “When I’m done with you, Cressida, you’re going to beg me for more.” His breath tickled her neck and caused a shudder to run down her spine.

 

_Finally!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised smut for this chapter, right? Okay, so the length of it kind of got out of hand, and I was able to sneak a bit of a tease in at the end. That counts, right? No? Ok, that's fair. How about we dive head first into smut for the next chapter? I'm hoping to get it posted in the next couple of days. Yeah?
> 
> As always, your support is greatly appreciated. It makes me take these writer's blocks, stack them bitches up, lace up my stomping boots, and get to working. ;) Leave your kudos, comments, bookmark if you haven't, subscribe, and I'll see y'all soon. ;) <3


	11. Finally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bash and Cressida lose themselves in each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup. It's smut. Almost 5K words of pure smut, and some fluff to wrap it up. And, I'm really big on dirty talk that isn't all about cursing and is a little more...articulate, so I hope that's your thing, too. ;)

 

“ _I trust you.”_

 

Three small words had sent Bash into a tumble of pheromones, deep seeded desires, and darker impulses that he’d struggled to repress lest he intimidate and frighten off the single female that he desired with this entire being. He’d known her roughly three-quarters of a Standard Year, and she’d become as essential to him as the air he breathed. It should have felt impossible, but instead it was undeniable. He’d been foolish in thinking that he could postpone what was between them. And, now his Alpha preened at the way she didn’t resist his touch, at how she leaned into it, and how with every touch her scent intensified and developed a heady, musky undertone.

 

He felt the rumble deep in his chest, and closed the distance between them – crowding her against the wall as he nosed at her throat, “When I’m done with you, Cressida, you’re going to beg me for more.” His breath tickled her neck and caused a shudder to run down her spine. He slotted his legs between hers, and chuckled low and dark, “And, when you are done begging me for more, I’m going to drive you higher. I’ve waited entirely too long to have you.”

 

Cressida mewled and carded her fingers through his hair, “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this,” she inhaled sharply as he nipped at the curve of her neck and licked the sting away. “Say what you like, Bash. It won’t make a difference. I’m sure I’ve already fantasized it, or dreamt it up on my own.”

 

He let his hands travel down her sides, and slipped his thumbs up under her shirt to feel her skin, “Are you telling me to shut up?” Her skin felt just on this side of uncomfortably hot, and he thrust his hands up to rub teasingly up her sides, “Because, you should know that my talent with words happens to extend into the bedroom.”

 

“ _Shit_. No. Did you just say that you like to talk dirty?” her hips thrust forward of her own accord, and she felt her nipples tighten painfully.

 

Her eyes rolled as Bash trailed firm kisses up her neck and paused below her ear, “What sort of wordsmith would I be if I weren’t able to tell you how you taste on my tongue, how you feel under me, and how the only way this will end tonight is when I am locked deep inside you with us both spent, and I’ve thoroughly reminded you to whom you belong.” His hands dropped to her hips and he ground his hard length into her core.

 

She felt heat and moisture pool as she tugged his mouth to hers, and kissed him soundly. She groaned as he licked at the seam of her lips, and nearly lost all of her composure as his tongue delved into her mouth, and she felt herself grinding her hips against him, clenching around nothing, and struggled to stifle the array of aroused sounds she was making. Bash finally broke the kiss and traveled his soft, kiss swollen lips down her neck again. “I swear, Bash, you can’t talk like that. Not right now,” she rested her head on the bulkhead behind her and tried to take deep, gulping breaths, “It’s too much,” she whimpered.

 

His answering chuckle rumbled deep in his chest, making her arch into him and rub her nipples against him, “Perhaps that is my intention, Cress. Perhaps I intend to draw out those fantasies from your lips, and find the one that makes you clench the hardest around me.” He breathed in her scent at the curve of her neck and nipped gently, “Perhaps I intend to mercilessly drive you to the edge just so I can hear you beg and plead for a release that only I can give you,” he let his hands drift down past her hips, and hauled her legs up by he thighs and ground into her core to pin her with his hips, “Or, perhaps I am trying to live out some of my own fantasies that I’ve been tortured with since we had to separate.”

 

Cressida groaned and pulled his mouth back to hers, “I swear, if you don’t find a way to get me naked, I’m going to combust,” she murmured as she nibbled along his lower lip. “I don’t care anymore, Bash, just _DO_ something!” she tilted her hips forward and tried to grind against his bulging erection in a desperate attempt at relieving some of her need for pressure.

 

Bash’s hands rode back up her thighs and stopped to gain a firm grip on her ass, and he yanked her forward into his arms as he began walking to the room he had chosen for them to bond. It wasn’t a proper nest, but it would have to do. He’d piled up as many blankets and pillows as he could find in the short time they’d been apart, and was grateful that he’d been able to locate unoccupied quarters so close to the entrance into the section. Because, carrying Cressida the few paces from the bulkhead and into his chosen space had been agonizing. Her plump breasts rubbed against his chest – nipples creating delicious friction against him – and she’d wrapped her long, lean legs around him and ground down on him with delicious moans that had him leaking a copious amount of precome. “You need to let go of me, Cressida.” He gently tried to pry her from his body as he leaned over the bed.

 

“No!” Cressida whined. She was almost there, she was so close to hurtling over that blissful edge, and she didn’t want to stop. Slick moisture gushed from her core, and she felt herself blossom open as blood rushed to help her climax.

 

“ _ **Let go.**_ ” She whined as her limbs went limp and fell to her sides, “Don’t worry, pet. I’ll have you coming in no time. But, you have to let me go so I can get these clothes off you like you requested,” He nipped at her neck and chuckled, “I am going to taste you until you can’t come anymore without me inside you, Cressida,” he trailed his hand down the valley of her breasts, over her stomach, and pressed the heel of his hand into her mound, “And once that happens, I’m going to ride you hard and deep, Cress. I’ll draw out that climax until you _beg_ for my knot.”

 

Her head snapped up from where she had let it fall back onto the bed, and her eyes glittered with anticipation, “Knot? Oh god,” she bit her lip and reached up to palm her breasts, “Why in the hell have you waited so fucking long, Bash! I should be angry, but I just feel...” she pinched at her own nipples and arched her back, “...fucking needy.”

 

He drank in the sight of her in wanton confession, and felt his chest rumble in contentment as the woody and spicy notes of her scent intensified with her arousal. Her already plump lips were kiss swollen, her neck bore the marks of his nips and he was determined to leave a more permanent mark soon. He began the descent down her body, and paused between her breasts. “I cannot wait to have these in my mouth. Do you think you could help me?” He teased darkly. All pride and pretense abandoned, Cress pushed at his head as she tried to sit up enough to pull the shirt up over her head. When she finally succeeded, he sat eye level with dusky, taut nipples, and he felt himself give an appreciative rumble, “My mouth is watering just looking at these,” he murmured as he laved around the first nipple, and blew gently. Cressida’s hands immediately carded through his hair, and he gave a chuckled as he finally enveloped it into his mouth and gave a deep suckle. She groaned and thrust her hips up at him, as a jolt of white hot pleasure shot down to her core, leaving her seeking any pressure she could manage. His hands came up to squeeze the globes of her breasts while his mouth alternated between sucking and nipping at each nipple. She clung to his dark head as he worked her up higher and higher, setting her nerve endings ablaze with lust.

 

Almost too soon, he slid further down her body, mouthing and kissing at her skin. She gave a strangled groan as he tugged her to the edge of the bed, and began to shuck her from her clothes and underthings. He breathed deeply at the apex of her thighs and groaned, “You smell like one of my favorite fruits, Cressida.” He nipped at the inside of her thigh, and sucked the taut flesh into his mouth to taste her skin, “I haven’t had one of those fruit in _decades_ ,” he purred, “And, just when I thought there was no hope of ever reliving that taste -” his tongue darted out to gently probe at her dripping core. His eyes snapped shut, and a broken moan tore from his throat.

 

Cressida’s head came up from where she’d been lying with her head tossed back, and she watched as Bash rubbed his stubbled cheek on the insides of her thighs and drank in deep, gulping breaths to scent her. “Oh god, tell me that sound means you like how it tastes,” she trembled as his hands suddenly tightened on her thighs again.

 

His eyes snapped open, meeting her dark, dilated eyes, and his lush, beautiful mouth stretched slowly into a winning smile, “Let me show you how much.” He dove in, burying his tongue into her slit, lapping at her juices, and seeking out the nub of her clit. His mind reeled at how perfect and tart she tasted, and his Alpha preened at the keening noises coming from her. He sought out all the places and motions that drew the most sounds from her, and made her thrust up into his mouth.

 

Cressida clenched at the blankets and sheets below her, trying to steady herself and brace for his onslaught. Every stroke of his tongue against her core had her hips trying to raise off the bed, and an unfamiliar keening noise to push past her lips. Her toes curled and sweat started to slick her skin in earnest. Each bead that ran down her torso, between her breasts, off her sides caused her to thrash her head back and forth. When had she become so oversensitive? “Bash, please...” she breathed, hoping he had heard her plea. She needed more pressure, but he held her hips locked in place. So, she whined, and keened, and pleaded that he would see fit to give in to her broken pleas. The earthy scent of coffee and cinnamon intensified and overwhelmed her, and she felt herself teeter on the edge between _wanting_ and the little death. “ _Please_...”

 

Bash’s lips finally latched onto her sensitive bud and he began to mercilessly suck and flick the tight little bud. His eyes clenched tight as he struggled to still his own thrusting hips, trying desperately to focus on her pleasure as her scent etched itself into his memory, and her taste exploded on his tongue. For once he cursed himself for all his talking and pretty promises and teasing. He wanted to crawl up her body, and plunge into her depths and stroke them both to completion, but she _needed_ this. She _deserved_ it. He could feel her lips unfurl against his chin, and gently teased a finger along the opening. The rush of slick and her scent caused his rhythm to stutter, and he felt himself throb against the confines of his pants as Cressida writhed above him – keening and babbling incoherently. She was beautiful. She was _his_. He slid his finger into her core, seeking out the bundle of nerves he knew would send her over the edge, but she clamped down so tightly, he pulled back and added another digit to scissor them apart – spread her open – so he could find his goal.

 

“ _FUCK_!” Cressida’s hands shot to his head, and she pulled him closer and thrust her hips at him, “Oh! Please don’t stop. _Pleasedon’tstoppleasedon’tstoppleasedon’tstop_!” She felt something hot and sharp curl and undulate within her, looking for an outlet. Her body was covered in a sheen of sweat, and her muscles were all tightly coiled, almost painful, and she still wanted more. Bash continued scissoring his fingers within her when one brushed against a spot that caused her to clench and burn. She groaned, “Right _there_ , Bash. _THERE_.” She clenched her fists in his hair and began grinding mindlessly against his mouth and fingers. His fingers rubbed against that spot again, and the burning intensified, and she howled her pleasure. He tapped it again, teasing her, and she whined and thrashed her head, “Don’t tease, _please_.” She heard the rumble start in his chest before she felt it vibrate through his plump lips locked against her clit, and the furious flicking of his tongue. Her nerve endings began to scream and she could see sparks flicker as she clenched her eyes tight, her core following suit. He pressed firm strokes into her when she felt her consciousness explode into a trembling, spiking pleasure.

 

Cressida exploded into his mouth as her orgasm crested, and he furiously worked her little nub, trying to work her higher and push her farther. The front of his pants were now soaked through with precome, and they provided little friction to alleviate his need. One word from her, and he would bury himself deep within her and ride them both over crest after crest. Her hands loosened and slipped from his hair as the tension in her frame began to loosen, and her hips stopped thrusting upward.

 

“Bash.” She was breathless and almost senseless, but she could feel herself come down from her climax to ride right back in that place somewhere between peaks, and she needed something _more_. “Bash, please.”

 

He pulled himself away from her dripping core, and wiped his face against the back of the hand that had stroked her from inside, “What do you need, Cress. I need to hear it.” His voice was gruff, and rode over her nerves, and stoked her arousal again. “ _ **Tell me**_.”

 

“You. I need you. Inside. God, Bash, please.” The absence of his mouth almost made her cry, but his rich scent had rushed in to envelop her, and she spread her legs open further, hoping to tempt him into ceasing his teasing and accepting her invitation.

 

Bash pulled back far enough to start working his way out of his shirt and pants, “You are so beautiful when you beg like that, did you know?” His eyes were half hooded, lips flushed and swollen from his ministrations, “Chest heaving, skin dewy and flushed, breasts heavy and nipples peaked. You are a vision straight out of some of my more vivid fantasies,” he murmured as he slowly made his way back up her body. “Though, I will admit that tasting you and touching you is far better than any fantasy, Cress.” He lowered himself so that his chest barely touched her breasts, and bent his head to nip at the curve of her shoulder, “I can’t wait to feel you clench around me,” he whispered hoarsely as she felt the blunt tip of his cock nudge at her opening, “Will you come fast or will it build again, I wonder,” he nipped her again, “It doesn’t really matter.” He thrust, but pulled back as he heard Cressida’s breath hitch, “You’ll take it however I give it to you, won’t you, pet?” He cooed at her as he thrust forward again.

 

Her hands came up from lying limply at her side, and she gripped at his biceps to give herself something to cling to, “That fucking mouth of yours,” she groaned as he withdrew and thrust sharply, “that fucking mouth is going to be the death of me, Bash. Oh, _god_ ,” she clenched around him as he bottomed out and rubbed against both bundles of nerves – inside and out. Her hips rose and ground into him of their own accord, and she felt her legs shake from the strain.

 

Bash’s deep, warm chuckle rumbled through his chest as he sought her mouth for a tender kiss, “Are you ready, Cressida?” Their eyes locked together and she nodded. He began a slow, pistoning grind punctuated with hard thrusts when her eyes would start to droop from the pleasure of it all, “Keep your eyes open for me, Cress. I want you to see,” he ground his hips against her, “I want you to see what you do to me,” his cheeks were flushed, and his jaw clenched as he worked their way towards orgasm. He fought the urge to bury his head in the curve of her neck and let his lids droop halfway to bliss, “You are so fucking tight around me, Cress, I should never have fought this. You are so damned perfect...” he could feel the burning at the base of his cock that signaled the start of his knot, and his pace quickened, “Do you feel that?” He nipped at her chin, “Do you feel what you do to me?”

 

Cressida’s head fell back on a wanton moan as Bash continued to nip at her throat. She could feel his thick length harden further and begin to catch at her opening as he pulled back to thrust into her harder. “ _Jesus_ , Bash. I should throttle you for - _ah!_ \- for keeping this from me.” One hand came up from his bicep as she felt herself coiling tight again, and she grabbed the back of his head to keep it nuzzling at the crook of her neck. “Right fucking _there_ , Bash. Oh, please!” She wrapped one leg around the back of his thigh, and the other hitched higher to wrap around the swell of his ass.

 

Bash clenched his jaw as a growl fought its way past his lips, and he tensed as the feeling of Cressida wrapping herself around him – completely open, submissive, and receptive. “Oh gods, Cress!” He reached down with his arm and worked it under the leg hitched over his ass and pulled it higher, “I’m trying so hard to not hurt you, but I don’t know if I can restrain myself anymore. You. Feel. So. Good.” He punctuated his words with grinding thrusts against her hot, slick core and reveled in the expanding burn of his knot. The texture and clenching of her walls caused shocks of bliss to shoot up and down his spine, and he pressed himself deeper and deeper no longer able to bear the sensation of his swelling knot leaving her pulsing core. He dropped himself down onto the elbow of the arm that sat below her shoulder, and he wrapped his hand under and around her shoulder to give himself more leverage. He laved at the curve of her neck where the start of a bonding gland had started – her scent concentrated there. He grazed his teeth over the small mound, “Gods, Cressida, I want to sink my teeth into you...bond you right now... _ **claim you**_ ,” he growled in her ear.

 

Cressida heaved a great sigh as she came silently and intensely. The heat of his breath, the heat of his words, and the intensity of his Alpha Voice was her final undoing. Her body tensed as she clung to Bash, to ride out her climax, digging her heels and nails into him.

 

“That’s right, Cressida. Come for me,” he crooned in her ear. “Give it all to me, don’t hold back.” He thrust and ground furiously as the burning of his knot intensified, “We’re not done here, not yet. You need to give me more,” he grazed his teeth against her neck again, and felt an intense spurting of moisture around his knot, and heard as it worked its way out and around soaking him as it finally inflated, and he instinctively bit down on Cressida’s still immature bonding gland. The taste of her, and the scent of her flooded his senses as he filled her and flooded her hot, clenching core with his come. He ground into her harder as her body began to go limp against him.

 

Cressida’s eyes went wide as he bit into the soft curve of her neck, and she felt herself clench impossibly tight around him as she squirted around him and crested again and again with each grinding thrust of his hips. Her limbs went lax, and she moaned low and satisfied and his hips slowly worked to a stop. Her chest was heaving, struggling to suck in enough breath to help return feeling into her limbs and she felt herself curling a smile as she realized that Bash was giving little kitten licks to the curve of her neck. “Hmmm...” she mumbled, “Did you break the skin?”

 

Bash tensed momentarily, then nuzzled at her throat. “A little. I’m more concerned about the bruising,” his voice rasped. He carefully held himself up on his elbow, and mouthed across her throat again, “I fear that I’m irreversibly addicted to you, Cress.” His voice was softer, more unsure than she was used to hearing from him.

 

She struggled to wiggle the fingers of her hand that had clenched at the back of his head so tightly, “Well, that’s a good thing. Because, I’m quite certain I can never bear to leave you again, Bash.” Her voice caught as she choked back a sob.

 

His head came up quickly to look at her face, “Did I hurt you? Am I hurting you?” the edge of panic caused his body to tense and his still hard cock to flex inside and the knot to pulse hotly. They both gasped at his reaction.

 

“No. No, Bash,” she was the first to speak, eyes clenched shut. She had been so afraid to let him go before, but the anxiety and tears welled up and spilled out of her before she could control it, “I was so afraid of losing you Bash. I was so afraid that I would have to watch you with someone else – happy without me. All this time, I kept telling myself that there was no way -” she choked again.

 

Bash slowly lowered her leg back down to his side, and brought his hand up to wipe away at the tears that were pooling out her tightly clenched eyes, “I can never put into words the remorse I feel in having let you feel that way, Cressida. If I hadn’t been such a fool, I could have spared you the heartache,” he gently kissed the corners of her mouth, and stroked the side of her face, “I am so sorry.”

 

She turned her face into his palm and kissed it. “It’s okay, Bash.” She turned her face back to look him in his steel-grey eyes, “It’s okay. I’m just overwhelmed,” she gave him a watery smile, “I’ve been trying to convince myself that I couldn’t possibly be in love with you, and here I am feeling it completely.” She let her lids droop sleepily and nuzzled his nose, “It’s better than any fantasy.”

 

Her chocolatey eyes shone in the low light of the room, and Bash felt his heart stutter and his words fail him. _She loves me!_ He buried his nose into the crook of her neck again, and began tending to the wounds he’d left. It was easier to face the gravity of her statement if he wasn’t looking directly at the brilliant sparkle in her eye, the sincerity, and the unadulterated love he saw shining back at him. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, Cress, but I swear that I will endeavor to never disappoint you.” He pulled her close with the hand he’d used to wipe the tears from her face, and gently rolled them so that he lay on his side with the majority of her weight sprawled across him, “Are you alright? You aren’t tender or too sensitive anywhere, are you?” The urge to care for her and pamper her was almost overwhelming. He brushed her hair out her face as she looked up at him.

 

“I’m good.” She gave him a megawatt smile, and his stomach flipped, “Are you always going to be this concerned?” her eyes sparkled with delight he’d only seen when she’d managed to puzzle the pieces of some scientific quandary back together.

 

“Yes,” he smiled softly, “It’s instinctual. We take care of our mates.” His tone brooked no argument from her.

 

Her eyes widened a fraction, “Are you going to go all Alpha-male dominant on me?” She made a moue of frowning, “Because I don’t like overbearing.”

 

Bash closed his eyes, and let his head fall back onto the pillow. “I guess, then, that you should learn to listen when I’m being more reasonable, Cress.” He smirked as she pinched his side. His hand slid down to the offending limb, and slid up to her elbow to cradle it against his side, “I cannot promise that I won’t _try_ it, Cress, but I do promise to not Voice you outside of the privacy of our own bedroom. I shall not exert my will on you in the areas of your life that I am well aware that you have complete control,” he nuzzled the crown of her head as she relaxed and laid her head on his chest, “But, I ask you to forgive whatever protective instincts I have over you, my love. There is nothing more precious than you and our children when you are ready to have them,” he murmured into her hair. He could hear her breathing even out, and felt her body go lax above him.

 

“Children?” Cressida hummed in delight, “That sounds wonderful,” her voice was muffled, and her words a little slurred, and he smiled fondly.

 

He could feel that his knot was still fully inflated and it gave no sign of deflating anytime soon, so he indulged in the sleepy, contented feel of having his mate in his arms. “I love you, Cress.”

 

* * *

 

Cressida slowly woke to the feel of a warm, moist cloth gently rubbing at and wiping at her swollen labia. She giggled, “You don’t have to worry about hurting me, Bash.” Her voice was smoky and roughened by how vocal she had been. She peeked one eye open to see if her _mate_ had taken the teasing well.

 

Bash wore his trademark half smile, though his eyes crinkled at the corners, “I just didn’t want to wake you, but I guess that’s a moot point,” he said as he rinsed the cloth in a basin of warm water by his feet, “You were sleeping so soundly, I didn’t want to be selfish.”

 

“Selfish?” She furrowed her brow and cocked her head at him as her eyes snapped open at that remark.

 

His eyes drooped into that half-lidded, sensual look that he’d given her multiple times over the past few hours, “Truthfully, I’ve been torn on whether I wanted to let you sleep, or if I wanted to see how easy it would be to work you up into another orgasm and wake you.” He smirked again at her sharp intake of breath as he carefully and too gently finished cleaning her up. “And, on the other hand, I’ve been weighing the benefits of hand-feeding you should you wake.”

 

She purred, “What are the benefits of feeding me over working me straight into an orgasm?” her pupils were dilated again, and she licked her lips.

 

His eyes caught the movement, and he rumbled in his chest, “You’d have the energy for what I have planned next,” he responded matter of factly. “If you were well rested and refueled sufficiently, I’m sure I could find a way to convince you to straddle my hips, press your breasts into my face, and _ride me_.” He blinked at her slowly.

 

She blinked back owlishly as her stomach rumbled. “You’re seriously going to talk like that and expect me to eat?”

 

“It seems to me that your body has spoken, and I’ll feed you first,” he stood and carried the basin of water and used cloth into the en-suite bathroom. “Luckily for you, we can replicate some quick meals. What are you in the mood for?”

 

Cressida pouted at him as he walked back out of the bathroom, “You’re not fair, you know that?” When his only response was to give her a mock surprised look, she sat up and crossed her arms under her breasts, causing them to jiggle temptingly, “If you insist on feeding me, I insist that you keep those pretty words firmly locked away in that pretty mouth of yours.” Her eyes sparkled with mischief.

 

Bash chuckled as he sat down facing her, “That means you also keep your hands to yourself,” he chided. I would hate to Voice you on this.” He leaned in close to her mouth for a kiss, “Now, tell me what it is you want to eat, Love?” He smiled softly at the endearment.

 

She leaned forward and gave him a peck on the lips, “Whatever you want to feed me, Bash. Just hurry.” Cressida uncrossed her arms and slowly slid them up his biceps, over his shoulders, and threaded her fingers back into his hair, “I’ll eat whatever you want, so long as you promise to make me come like you did all over again.” She smirked and leaned in to peck at his lips again.

 

“You are deliciously submissive when you want to be, aren’t you?” he gently licked the seam of her lips, “Are you trying to tempt me?”

 

She shuddered and pulled him forward, “Of course I am,” she looked at him through half-lidded eyes, “I’ll always try to tempt you.”

 

“Good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! That was worth the wait, right? I sure hope so! Message me if y'all catch any mistakes because I went all loopy-eyed trying to edit this, and I'm pretty sure I missed things. 
> 
> Again, Kudos, Comments, Subscriptions, and Bookmarks are forever appreciated. Y'all rock my socks! <3


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